Monday, February 03, 2014

No Ice Cream For You!

My son loves ice cream.  So does Friz. 

Me?  While I wouldn't kick a big bowl of Cookies and Cream out of bed, i don't go ga-ga for it, either.

But as i said, Mini-Me loves it, so it's become a regular thing to haul my sexy ass down to Carvel at least once a week to pick some up for the family.  I usually go there on Wednesdays, because as we ALL know, "Wednesday is Sunday at Carvel!".  So i get to pick up TWO sundaes for the price of one. 

The family is happy, my wallet is happy... everyone wins.

Anyway, there used to be this cute little Russian girl who worked at my local Carvel.  I'm not sure why i just mentioned that she was cute.  Oh, who am i kidding?  Of course i know why i mentioned that... have you met me?

Anyway, aside from being cute, she was smart as a whip.  She knew what i was getting as soon as i walked in.  I felt like Norm from CHEERS.  I wouldn't have to say a word.  I'd just walk in, she would nod her head and get to work and within 5 minutes i was paying her and getting the hell outta Dodge.

But now, all that is over. 

Apparently, my wonderful Russian babushka has left her job at Carvel.  I miss her terribly. 

what's worse is that her position has been filled by a complete fuckwit.  This new kid is probably 18 years old.  He sports one of those lame-ass faux-hawks and he looks at you with a dead stare like the small pea in his head that he calls his brain has fallen out of his ear and wound up in the Tutti-Frutti.

Seriously, this guy is as dumb as a post.  I walk in to this store every few days, and each time he looks at me like we have never met before.  Then, i recite the same fucking list of goodies that i JUST recited 2 days previously, and he looks at me with that vacant stare of his for a few seconds, before shambling off to get me what i want.

But as annoying as that is, i could live with that.  What really gets me.... what REALLY gets my fucking goat, is that whenever he is done getting all my ice cream ready, he looks at me and mumbles....

"Is that all you're getting?  Yes or no?"

Yes or no?  What person in customer service says "Yes or No?" after asking you a question? 

It comes off sounding like i had better answer him right fucking quickly because he is in some big damn hurry to get back to his OTHER job as a brain surgeon or something....

And EVERY time he says it, it snaps one of the last few nerves i am daintily holding on to.

One day, oh, one day SOON, this cretin is going to say "Yes or no?" to me ONE TIME too many, and i am going to cram his pecker into the smoothie blender.....


MarkD60 said...

Next time he asks "yes or no?", say "Yes" but don't say anything else. Make him ask what else, then say something like "a spoon" or "a napkin"
I see an excellent opportunity go fuck with someone who needs it.

We have a Russian girl at my cigar bar who is soo cute!

Bruce Johnson said...

Youngster from abroad have more drive to succeed. American youth are raised on entitlement and reset buttons. All the IT guys that work for the state are from Asia and will work till midnight to get the job done. The young white kids rarely show up for work.

Jill said...

Funny Mark! Maybe he has a social disorder. OR he's 18. :-)

Tard R. Sauce said...

Dizamm, lookses likes da wife beeter mux ta dun scarred off all dese honkees. Why fo you done been close up shops. It ain't nuff whyte ho's to skroke yo eego no mo? Try a blax ho, they be tha bex at doins that. Trux me.

Jessica B said...

LOL, that reminds me of those notes you would send each other in elementary school "Do you like me? circle Y or N," Not that I got those all of the time or anything, because I was a little nerd with blue glasses. But that's beside the point. Anyway, sorry you lost your Russian :)

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