Wednesday, October 09, 2013

Verizon Won't Take My Money



I’ve mentioned here before how somehow, some way, at some point in my life, I became one of the people that I used to make fun of, and started buying every single fucking product that has a little Apple sticker on it that I can get my hands on.

I really don’t know what happened. One day, I finally decided that I wanted an MP3 player, and broke down and bought myself an IPod Mini. A year later, seeing that it didn’t have enough space, I went out and got myself a 60gb IPod Classic. Then THAT became too bulky to slip into my tight Chinos, so I bought an IPod Touch.

I thought that would be the end of my Apple obsession, but then one day, I found myself ditching my old phone and upgrading myself to an IPhone 4S. That was over a year and a half ago, and I haven’t looked back. On the contrary, I’ve gone all-in where Apple is concerned. From Apple TV, to every Apple peripheral under the sun, I find myself eagerly awaiting each new product that Apple decides to spew forth.

Anyway, as the title of this post suggests, I use Verizon as my cell phone carrier. They are more expensive than most, but I’ve found that they also provide the best coverage. When the IPhone 5 came out earlier this year, I of course HAD TO HAVE IT. So, I called Verizon and they informed me that my 2 year contract was not up until January 2014. I then asked them about upgrading early, since they have ALWAYS allowed for that, and they informed me that my Early Upgrade date was May 2013. Since this all happened a few months before that, I resigned myself to not getting the IPhone 5 after all. Since there is always a new Iphone coming out about every 20 minutes or so, I just figured I’d pounce on the next one when it came out.

Then, like the tide, last month the inevitable IPhone 5S came out. I wanted it. I needed it. I HAD to have it, and since i am currently falling in valid “Early Upgrade” range, I figured my ability to upgrade would be a done deal.

Apparently not.

When I called Verizon, they told me that if I wanted to upgrade now, it would cost me $600 for the new phone! When I told them that was a mistake because I am eligible for an early upgrade, they informed me that they “cancelled the early upgrade program”.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

When I explained to the rep that I was more than happy to sign up RIGHT THEN AND THERE for a new 2 year contract (something that they used to get a hard-on for), they told me that they would not consider it until my contract’s normal end date in January.

My friends, I am baffled.

I called this company myself. They didn’t call me.

I told them I was ready to give them my credit card so they could bill me a few hundred dollars for a new phone which I in NO WAY need.

I then told them I would gladly sign up for their ridiculously expensive 2 year deal, ensuring that the net price of my phone would, after 2 years, end up costing me about 14 billion dollars.

And they told me “No thanks”.

I just don’t get it. I’m not used to getting turned down. Especially by chicks.

That really stings. I’m not sure how you “average” looking guys do it…..

6 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

When you got your 4S, didn't you sign up for a 2-year agreement? That's how all carriers work, right? So you wait until January, pay $199 (or less) and get your new phone. What's the issue?

Sprint used to have a 12-month upgrade program, then an 18-month deal, now it's 2 years just like everyone else. There is such competition between carriers that they all just basically do the same thing now. There is that one carrier (I forget who) that is doing early upgrade deals. Bill Heder does the commercials for them. But I'm sure they hit you some other way.

Face it...cell phone companies are the second-worst thing in the world after cable companies. Don't get me started on Cablevision...

PS - You got Apple TV? When?

Slyde said...

the issue is I didn't want to wait until January, I wanted it NOW!

yeah, I got appletv for my bday. I really like it, although I have to admit I haven't used it much yet

MarkD60 said...

I think the US system is ridiculous. Here, you buy your phone, and he phone company gives you a SIM card with the plan you want, and you're good! Buy a new phone, slip the SIM card in and you're upgraded.
But you would pay about $650 for a new iPhone or Galaxy. You sell the old one online.

Slyde said...

mark, thats what i wanted to do. Target said they would give me $190 for my old phone, so if Verizon had let me upgrade for the upgrade price, i would only have had to pay about $150 for a new 32gb iphone.

oh well...

Choleesa said...

Verizon is the only carrier that gets coverage on the hill I hike, its the only reason I even stick with them. I had to show some serious tit for them to allow me to keep my unlimited plan once I upgraded phones...they used to be very accommodating as long as you renewed your contract...not so much anymore.

Slyde said...

THATS what I was missing......TIT!