Thursday, September 12, 2013


Having a wife AND a DVR just dont mix.

Here's why.

When I decide to record something on the DVR, it is because i have a desire to, you know, actually WATCH IT.

Funny how that works, right? I record a movie, and then, within the next few days, i sit my tight, toned ass down on my couch and watch it. When i'm done watching it, i delete it.

I'm pretty sure that's how the DVR was designed to be used.

But Friz just doesn't use it that way, and it REALLY pisses me the fuck off.

The first problem is that she records EVERYTHING. She records shit that she regularly watches, shit that she has never watched but a friend told her was good, shit that she knows absolutely NOTHING about but it has a cool title, EVERY piece of shit that they throw on the Lifetime channel.......

.... everything.

As i said, thats annoying as hell, but what REALLY gets my goat is that SHE NEVER FUCKING WATCHES ANY OF IT!!!!

It just sits on the DVR for months and months. Every time i ask "Hey, are you ever going to watch this shit?", I always get the same answer of, "Yes, dont delete that!"

So the DVR just fills up with more and more crap.

What REALLY pisses me off is that every damn time i walk into the den, she is just channel surfing while mumbling that there is nothing good on. Nothing good on? How about perusing through the 14,000 hours of complete nonsense that you feel the need to save!!! It drives me batty.

Right now, the oldest offenders on my DVR are last year's season finales of Greys's Anatomy and Two and a Half Men. Two shows that i don't watch. Two shows that i hate. Two shows that you would have to staple my penis to my coffee table to get me to sit through.

But there they stay, forever clogging up my DVR and greeting me with their names every time I try to see what we have recorded.

And of course, the WORST part is that these shows are filling up my hard drive space, when i could be using that precious space for good, quality programming that i enjoy.

If i miss one more episode of The Bad Girls Club because of this shit, i think i'm going to cry.


MarkD60 said...

You are in a pickle. There is no cure for your situation. If you delete her stuff, you will die a slow agonizing death. If you don't, you will live a long, agonizing life.
Sorry buddy, you're fukt

Slyde said...

yeah pretty much. every once in a while I delete some of them late at night and see if she notices...

Verdant Earl said...

You need to be a man like me and RULE the DVR with an iron fist! Silly girly man, letting your wife even handle the remote!

PS - Gia doesn't read this, right?

Yvonne said...

You have a goatz? ;)

Anonymous said...

i think we are the last residents of australia that still have a vcr. i'm sure if we had a dvr my missus would be the same, but because the vcr is so cumbersome and the quality is so crap she hardly tapes anything. the scary thing is that i've been thinking of buying a dvr so that i don't have to keep listening to her complain about the vcr.....sounds like it could create a monster though

Slyde said...

earl: nope, no one reads this...

yvonne: sometimes :)

beach: yeah, i remember the good old days of vcr's.... i dont think i could ever go back to them tho...

Jill said...

Does the DVR fill up? Can she just leave it there until she's ready? Maybe you could trade her for turning the lights off. Like, if either of you leaves a light on you get to delete the other's DVR program. :-) And funny Mark!

BTW, I was in Brooklyn less than 24 hours, does that make it any more excusable? Also, I'm not really totally sure I knew you lived in Brooklyn or NYC or...somewhere else in NY?

SweetBlueZ51 said...

Set her shows to be auto-deleted when new programs need to be recorded. If she doesn't watch them in a timely manner, they will eventually be recorded over by the new stuff. Also, Two & a Half Men is (well, was) a great show. It's not as good now that Charlie Sheen isn't on but there's a reason why it's been on the air so long and why its actors are the highest paid on TV.