Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Slyde's Pet Peeve #12 - Lemon In My Water


How many times has this happened to you?

You settle in to your favorite resturant, ready to enjoy a nice meal. The waitress comes over and plops down a nice basket of bread, and then she brings over a refreshing, ice cold pitcher of water.......

.... with slices of LEMON floating in it!

I fucking hate hate HATE lemon in my water! It gives the water a tart taste, which sucks.

The whole SELLING point of water, is that it is refreshing WITH NO TASTE! If you are going to add flavor to my water, i might as well just have a Budweiser, which is about as close to flavored water as you can get anyway, next to a lemon.

And if you absolutely HAVE TO put something in my water......... a LEMON? Really? What happened? Did you run out of gizzards or old socks?

Oh, maybe it's just me. After all, on a hot summer day, you cant turn around without seeing some young tyke sitting on the curb, sucking down on a big, moist lemon.

Wait, you DON'T see people chomping down on lemons?

Oh right, of COURSE you dont!

Wanna know why? It's because lemons taste like shit. The only thing lemons are good for are for squeezing onto my shrimp cocktail, or for inserting into my rectum.

Hey, i have to think of SOMETHING to do with myself on rainy days....

17 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I don't prefer lemon in my water at dinner, but I probably go through 8-10 lemons a week just in cooking. I make a lot of salad dressing with fresh lemon juice and olive oil. Plus marinades or recipes that require lemon juice. Same thing with limes. Lots of citrus.

MarkD60 said...

You are correct sir. The problem, more clearly defined, I think, is that the lemon rind is still on the lemon, and the rind tastes like shit.

I remember when I was a kid, my Mom would drink water. I asked her why would anyone drink water when there's Coke and juice and milk and tons of better things to drink?
She said what you said, it is good because it has NO taste. I never understood till I got older.

Slyde said...

yeah, when i was a kid, it was all about the soda.... and i definity STILL have quite the sweet tooth, but at least know i understand and appreciate the value of swigging a nice cold glass of water.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

I am laughing so hard because when I go to a restaurant with my crusty, old fart Dad he tells the waitress, "Don't put a f*cking lemon in my water, 'cause I may look like a sour puss, but I always liked it sweet".

Annabelle Archer said...

Not to mention, you don't even want to know about the handling and storing practices of said lemons.

Yvonne said...

I HATE lemon in my water or anywhere else! When I was little and had a sore throat my mom would chug a glass of warm tea with honey AND lemon in it, down my throat! I'm downright traumatized about that crap now! I feel your pain.

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2abes said...

worse than lemons in your water is the stupid anonymous comments crap!

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Chris G. said...

#1) Clear out that SPAMMITY-SPAM!!!

#2) I think you'd find this interesting:

Beware the lemon in your drink. It could make you sick.

When restaurant workers place a lemon wedge on your glass of water, tea, or soda, they are apparently spiking your drink with germs.

A new study by a New Jersey microbiologist found nasty bacteria on two-thirds of the lemons that were tested from 21 restaurants.

"It was gross," said Anne LaGrange Loving, assistant science professor at Passaic County Community College."

Loving decided to do the study after noticing a waitress with dirty fingernails delivering a drink to a table.

"They put lemon in my Diet Coke, I didn't ask for it, and so I decided to do a study."

Loving and her team swabbed for bacteria as soon as drinks hit the table at restaurants all around Paterson, New Jersey.

"You would think they had dipped the lemons in raw meat," she said, referring to the high levels of bacteria that she found.

The swabs of lemon wedges revealed everything from high counts of fecal bacteria to a couple of dozen other microorganisms; most of which can make you sick. They found bacteria on the rind and on the flesh of the lemons.

Health laws require lemons to be handled with gloves or tongs. But its common practice for waiters and waitresses to simply pop the little lemon wedge onto a drinking glass with their bare hands.

If an employee's hands aren't clean, however, then touching the lemons is likely to contaminate them with bacteria according to Loving.

"People need to know that the lemons have bacteria on them that can make them sick."

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Yvonne said...

Dear Spammers on Sly's bloggity blog, GET A F'ING LIFE ALREADY!!!!! Oh and? Get the hell of my blog while you're at it.

Love,
me.