Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Magic, She Is Gone.....


Last week we passed a sad yet inevitable milestone in the Slyde household...

I was forced to finally tell Mini-Me the truth about Santa.

It broke my heart.

He's been asking questions for a while now, and i'm pretty sure that deep down, he knew the truth already, but i certainly broke my ass every year helping to keep up with the illusion.

He was still All-In on where the Easter bunny and Tooth Fairy were concerned, too.

But last week, Friz had to go and finally ruin it.

Apparently, while i was out, Mini-Me started hammering Friz with questions again, asking if Santa is real, and i guess her resolve is not as strong as mine (or her ability to spew out bullshit), because she finally caved.

Actually, she did WORSE than cave....

She told him to ask ME about it.

So, completely obvlivious, i walked into the house and was instantly greeted with Mini-Me yelling, "Mommy said that you would tell me that Santa isnt real!"

Nice.

Anyway, it honestly was very difficult for me to tell him the truth. Even though i exude pure testosterone out of every fiber of my being, i found myself getting all veklempt while i told him the truth.

In all honesty, i had intended to tell him soon anyway. He'll be entering Junior High in the Fall, and the LAST thing i wanted for him was to walk into that school filled with older kids, talking about a fat man climbing down his chimney. I dont think ANY kid could surive the inevitable amount of bullying that would ensue.

Still.........

In the end, I came clean about where the presents come from, and where the jelly beans and colored eggs come from, and where his teeth go when he puts them under his pillow.

To his credit, he took it well.

Now, the only one left who is all fucked up over it is ME.

18 comments:

MarkD60 said...

What?!?!?!!!?? Are you telling me that Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy are not real? INCONCEIVABLE!
My Mom told me they're real and I believe everything she says.

Slyde said...

your moms a good woman....

Bruce Johnson said...

Look at the bright side, when one door closes, a new one opens. Now you can tell him that Batman and X-Men ARE real. That should last for another 5 years at least.

Slyde said...

yes, having him run around school telling kids that batman is real shouldnt give him any shit at all....

Chantel said...

lol--aw, the years pass so fast, don't they? In just a few you get to find porn beneath his bed...

Then again, he can just get it on his phone now.

ps. My youngest actually booby trapped his damn room trying to "catch" the tooth fairy--I still have a scar where my 3 three-whiskey ass landed on a lego. Ciao Tooth Fairy!

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

So glad to hear he took it well. Some freakin' douchbag kid told me the truth about Santa in 4th grade and completely broke my heart. That same kid ended up in the slammer at age 16. Served that sucker right for ruining a girl's dreams!!!!!

B.E. Earl said...

Imagine how I feel. I had to have this very conversation with YOU just 8 years ago. Broke my little heart.

Annabelle Archer said...

Awe, that's sweet.

My resolve for such things I'd non-existent. I can't bullshit em. Smartly, they know that do they don't ask me.

2abes said...

I hope you at least brought him for ice cream to soften to blow

Heff said...

No SANTA ???? You BASTARD !!! Now Christmas is RUINED for me FOREVER !!

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Yvonne said...

Aww, very bittersweet, no doubt. But look on the bright side, now you get to prepare yourself for "the talk" and teach him how to dance when he goes to his first school dance! Just don't cry in front of him and you'll be fine. heh.

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