Just kill me now.
This week, the boys in Mini-Me's class got seperated from the girls for an afternoon so they could attend "Maturity Class".
You might know Maturity Class by its old name, "Sex Education".
I was wondering how my little man was going to handle it.
I shouldn't have bothered wondering, however, because nothing i could have thought up would have been REMOTELY close to what actually happened.
Mini-Me: Daddy, we had Maturity Class today.
Stud: I know. How was it?
Mini-Me: It was funny. We laughed alot.
Stud: What was so funny?
Mini-Me: The teacher drew a picture of a wee-wee!
Stud: A wee-wee?
Mini-Me: Yeah, dad... a penis.
Stud: Yes, im fully aware of the fact that a wee-wee is a penis.
Mini-Me: It was funny. He drew the balls and everything!
Stud: Well, did you learn anything?
Mini-Me: Yeah, i guess. We learned that our voice is going to get deeper soon, and we are gonna start getting hair all over our body.
Stud: Yup, thats right. Did you learn anything else?
Mini-Me: Yeah, one other thing.
Stud: Tell me.
Mini-Me: We learned that sometimes our wee-wee might get hard.
Stud: Oh Fuc...
Stud: I mean, YES, thats true.
Mini-Me: The teacher said that it happens when you get excited.
Stud: Yup. Son, it happens to everybody.
Mini-Me: I know.
Stud: Has it ever happened to you?
Stud: Thats ok.
Mini-Me: It happened to me last night while we were watching Flubber.
Stud: Like i said, it's normal..... Wait, What?
Mini-Me: It happened when we watched Flubber.
Stud: I don't know why I just don't stop now, but i need to know.... during what part?
Mini-Me: When the scientist and his girlfriend were trying to stop the bad guy.
Stud: It happened THEN? THEN?
Mini-Me: Yeah, and it makes sense, cause that scene was pretty exciting!
I swear that i could have fainted dead away.
I don't yet have the strength to explain to him that the teacher was talking about a whole DIFFERENT kind of "exciting".
Maybe i never will.
I don't think i have it in me to continue this conversation.