Thursday, May 09, 2013

I'll never Look At Robin Williams The Same Way Again

Just kill me now.

This week, the boys in Mini-Me's class got seperated from the girls for an afternoon so they could attend "Maturity Class".

You might know Maturity Class by its old name, "Sex Education".

I was wondering how my little man was going to handle it.

I shouldn't have bothered wondering, however, because nothing i could have thought up would have been REMOTELY close to what actually happened.

Mini-Me: Daddy, we had Maturity Class today.

Stud: I know. How was it?

Mini-Me: It was funny. We laughed alot.

Stud: What was so funny?

Mini-Me: The teacher drew a picture of a wee-wee!

Stud: A wee-wee?

Mini-Me: Yeah, dad... a penis.

Stud: Yes, im fully aware of the fact that a wee-wee is a penis.

Mini-Me: It was funny. He drew the balls and everything!

Stud: Well, did you learn anything?

Mini-Me: Yeah, i guess. We learned that our voice is going to get deeper soon, and we are gonna start getting hair all over our body.

Stud: Yup, thats right. Did you learn anything else?

Mini-Me: Yeah, one other thing.

Stud: Tell me.

Mini-Me: We learned that sometimes our wee-wee might get hard.

Stud: Oh Fuc... .

Mini-Me: Daddy?

Stud: I mean, YES, thats true.

Mini-Me: The teacher said that it happens when you get excited.

Stud: Yup. Son, it happens to everybody.

Mini-Me: I know.

Stud: Has it ever happened to you?

Mini-Me: Yes.

Stud: Thats ok.

Mini-Me: It happened to me last night while we were watching Flubber.

Stud: Like i said, it's normal..... Wait, What?

Mini-Me: It happened when we watched Flubber.

Stud: I don't know why I just don't stop now, but i need to know.... during what part?

Mini-Me: When the scientist and his girlfriend were trying to stop the bad guy.

Stud: It happened THEN? THEN?

Mini-Me: Yeah, and it makes sense, cause that scene was pretty exciting!

I swear that i could have fainted dead away.

I don't yet have the strength to explain to him that the teacher was talking about a whole DIFFERENT kind of "exciting".

Maybe i never will.

I don't think i have it in me to continue this conversation.


Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

Considering I've never seen Flubber, sounds like I'm missin' some serious excitement!!! There are still 1 1/2 more days to celebrate International Clitoris Week after all. I might have to hit Red Box for that movie.

Mrs. Hall said...

AWW . . i wanna hug the little guy. he has no idea what's coming. :)

Unknown said...

My son, is inordinately proud of his, and I quote, OakWood.

Verdant Earl said...

Wait, did I miss a half a decade or so? He's already taking sex ed classes? Holy shit!

MarkD60 said...

Now I suppose I have to go watch Flubber, for the porn value.

Anonymous said...

There's no way I'm making a joke about this, because I'm sure you'll return the favor, in spades, in about 10 years ....

Cocaine Princess said...

OMG funny and cute! But you think the teacher would have explained what "kind" of excitement.

Yvonne said...

Aww, cute and a little disturbing at the same time. Oh to be young and innocent again... I feel for you, my seven year old nephew (heart of my heart)is starting to ask questions and is curious about EVERYTHING having to do with girls. Ugh!!!

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Spinning Girl said...

Well hellloooooo!!!!!

Susan Higgins said...

Slyde... this is one of the funniest posts about Mini-me that you have ever written. Thank you for the thrill.

Chris G. said...

I think your little guy wants to get it on with Flubber; you should get him some Jello to play with at night! ;)