Thursday, February 21, 2013

Wierdest. Date. Ever.

I was hanging out with some friends the other day, and we got to talking about the wildest dates we ever went on.

Because i am incredibly popular with the ladies, i had to confess that i have a good gaggle of odd dating stories hidden up in my beautiful head.

But as we were talking, the story I'm about to relate was the first one that i thought of.  If pressed, i certainly could think of weirder girls i went out with (some MUCH weirder... like 'restraining order' weirder), but when just considering the 'date' part of the date, this one, for me, takes the cake.

The date was June 28, 1997.  You might think it odd that i remember the exact date, but you'll soon see why it would be a date i can easily remember.

'Debbie' was a new girl who started working at my job.  She naturally checked me out at our company picnic that summer, and after asking around about me, a mutual friend set us up to go out that weekend.  Debbie seemed nice, was really cute, and had a body that wouldn't quit.  That's much more than i usually require in a girl, so of course i agreed.

We agreed to go out that Saturday.  It was supposed to be really hot out that Summer day, so she surprised me and said that she wanted us to spend the day at Splish Splash, a local Long Island water park.  It was a chance to check out this girl in a bikini, so of course i agreed.

When i got to her house, she surprised me by telling me that we had to first go to the train station to pick up 2 of her friends, another couple who would be joining us that were coming out from New York City.  When we picked them up, the guy looked like a scraggly biker dude, and the chick was a statuesque American Indian... she was gorgeous.

Anyway, they seemed nice enough, so off to Splish Splash we went.  We spent the entire day there, and we all seemed to get along really well.  About 5 o'clock we headed home.  When we reached her apartment, Debbie said that she was having a great time and that we should all go out to dinner at an Italian restaurant nearby.  So, i quickly drove home (she lived 10 minutes from me), showered, got dressed, and met them back at her place.

Dinner, like the trip to the water park, went great.  Near the end of the dinner, Debbie asked me:

"Do you like Styx?" 

"You mean, the stuff on trees?  Sure, they're awesome!" 

"No, the band, silly.  I have tickets for Styx and Pat Benetar playing at Radio City Music Hall and I'd like to take you."

"Sure, that would be great!  When is the concert?"

"In 2 hours"

"Say what now?"

"It starts at 8pm.  Lets get to the train fast and head to Manhattan."

So, we raced to the train station, and managed to hoof it to midtown and made it to Radio City right in the middle of Pat Benetar's first song.  It was an awesome concert, and i was glad we went.

After the show, the other couple told us about a party they were invited to somewhere in the Village to watch the Tyson Hollyfield boxing match.  They invited us to go, so we tagged along.

When we got the apartment, there had to be about 40-50 people in the loft, and everyone just seemed very weird to me.  Not just 'NYC-Weird', either.... they were 'Weird-Weird'.  My first tip off was that when we got there, the fight hadn't started yet, and the big screen TV there was blasting 70 inches of gay porn.

Gay Porn!  And everyone was just standing around it watching it like it was CNN!

Anyway, the fight thankfully started and we got to turn the channel from 2 guys blowing each other, to 2 guys beating the shit out of each other.

At least, until Tyson did the unspeakable and bit Hollyfield's ear off, forever making boxing history.

After the abrupt ending of the fight, the party kinda broke up, so we headed to a local bar and played pool till the wee hours of the morning, still with this other couple in tow.

At about 3A.M., they announced that they were headed home, and since it was so late and getting a train back to Long Island would be difficult, they asked us to crash at their apartment nearby.

So, we got to their loft, and they offered us a bed, right next to their bed.  I was getting an odd vibe from the whole thing, but i figured now was not the time to question anything.  We got into our bed, and they got into theirs.  Within 10 minutes, these two people start banging like bunnies right in front of me.

Lets just say that after that, it got weird.


I woke up the next morning, to find Debbie still asleep and the other couple nowhere to be found.  There was a note on the kitchen table that said, "Had to leave early.  Help yourself to breakfast and leave the key with the doorman."

So, i made us some pancakes, and while we ate breakfast, i finally asked Debbie how she knew this other couple that was trusting us with their home.

"Them?  I really don't know them at all.  I met them last week at a concert near Woodstock."

"Wait, what?  You don't know them?  I thought they were lifelong friends!"

"Nope.  I honestly don't even remember their names."

After picking my jaw up off the floor, we quietly finished our breakfasts, and headed home.  My trip to the water park turned out to be a 35 hour date.

I dated Debbie for about 6 months, and while we had many zany, seat-of-your-pants adventures, nothing ever again could top that crazy, CRAZY first date.

It was a damn fun 6 months, to be sure.

So, how about you, folks?  What was your wackiest date?


Tard R. Sauce said...

That time i fisted a dog comes to mind....

Anonymous said...

What???? Fags in NY CITY???? NO WAY DUDE!!!!!!!

Slyde said...

tard: That was you?

bama: yeah, but they at least all stay in one room....

Verdant Earl said...

I never liked Debbie.

PS - How in the HELL did you never tell me this story before? Was it the gay porn? Where you turned on by the gay porn? That's it, right? And by "Anyway.....", you mean you had consensual sex with the biker dude, right? Just come out already!

Susan Higgins said...

I will never tell my weird date story.

Besides... Nothing could top yours!

Slyde said...

earl: you never liked debbie from the day that we walked into your house 2 minutes early, and you threw a full-on hissy fit

sue: oh cmon... now you HAVE to tell!

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Unknown said...

I am RACKING my brain trying to figure out the date of that one time "things got weird" for me, my then bf, my bestie and his best bud. I know it was summer of '97, but I can't pin it down.

Sidenote: the besties ended up together after that night. Still are. And I'll forever have a "soft spot" for exotic brunettes with luscious lips.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yvonne said...

hahhaha! You have the best stories! I don't think I can top your weird date story.

Slyde said...

anna: you just killed me, you know. I think we need to trade stories :)

yvonne: sure you can! :)

Heff said...

I'm gonna plead the 5th here, as my stories might incriminate me.....

Slyde said...

those sound like damn good stories!

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