One of the unfortunate side effects of being a hot blooded Sicilian is that i love spicy food.
I mean REALLY spicy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to put hot sauce on my meals. The hotter, the better. In the past year or so, I've kinda taken my obsession to the next level, buying all sorts of exotic sauces that each promise "XXX Hot Flavor!"
I've also gotten more liberal with the foods i pour it on. In the beginning, i would reserve my hot sauce collection for nights when we ate taco's, or chili... that sort of stuff.
But, as time as marched on, I've begun experimenting. No, not THAT kind of experimenting... i got THAT out of my system by my Junior year of college.
I'm talking about experimenting with pouring my hot sauce on other culinary treats. At first, I'd put it on steak, or burgers. Then, i started putting it on my mash potatoes, or stuffing. It's now gotten to the point where, before i eat anything, i at least CONSIDER the idea of how gross it might be to put hot sauce on it.
Now, you might think that this fetish of mine is no big deal, but it is in fact causing me a huge problem.
The problem, you see, is with Friz.
Friz, is an awesome cook. I have to give it to the gal. But, where the kitchen is concerned, she has one fatal flaw.... she is SUCH a perfectionist in the kitchen, that she considers it an insult to her cooking when i put hot sauce on things that she thinks should be "Hot Sauce Free".
At first, it was funny to watch her get all pissed off when i dabbed some hot sauce on her pork chops, but as time has gone on and I've gotten more and more adventurous with where i spew my sauce, she has been getting genuinely pissed off at me. It's been making meal time especially stressful.
I wanted to paint you all an accurate portrait of what's been going on in the Slyde household at dinnertime, so i hired a professional sketch artist to observe us at dinner and draw an exact portrayal of one of our typical dinners.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the blogosphere, i present to you now that completely realistic portrait:
As you can see, the artist captured PERFECTLY how happy it makes me to put hot sauce on my meal. You can also see the nasty stink-eye that Friz is giving me for "ruining" her meal.
So, what say you, peeps?
Should i continue to enjoy my meals as i see fit, or should i bite the bullet and enjoy my meal a little less just to make the poor gal happy?
P.S. I'm not sure if you can glean it from the photo above, but i have an incredibly large dong.....