Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Sister, Sister!

Let's start this off with something easy that we know, to be true, OK?

I'm hot.

That's a given, right?  I mean, surely everyone who comes here ALREADY knows that I am the most stunningly handsome creature to have ever walked the earth.

YOU know it.... I know it... Strangers know it..... my mirror sure as shit knows it.....

But I am shy, and humble.  So, lets not dwell on my perfection.

The only reason i am bringing it up is because i fully realize that women find me irresistible, but sometimes you chicks need to find some self-control.

Case in point:

Last week i got a Facebook friend request from someone who's name at first i didn't recognize.  It took me a minute of looking at her picture and her name to put two and two together and remember where i knew this chick from.

It turns out that "Sally" is the sister of someone i dated eons ago. 

I only dated her sister for about 8 months or so, but during that time we would often go over Sally's house and hang out.  I always liked Sally.  She was fun (more fun that her psycho sister!), and was really pretty.

Anyway, it took me just a few months to FINALLY figure out her sister was mentally unbalanced, and i broke things off.  I never saw my ex or Sally again.  Ever.  I think the last time I laid eyes on either of them was in the mid 90's.

Cut to about 6 months ago when my ex friended me on Facebook.  And YES, i accepted the request.  Why?  I dunno.  Although things ended pretty badly, it HAD been about 15 years now.....i figured I might as well PRETEND to be mature for once and let my old anger slide....

Plus, I wanted to see what she if she was still hot.

Anyway, after sending each other a few pleasantries ("You look great!"  "Nice family!", etc), i had pretty much satisfied my curiosity about my ex and promptly once again forgot about her.

Until last week, when her sister friended me.

I thought it was a wee bit odd, but accepted her request as well. 

No sooner than i accepted her request than she started sending me emails.  At first, they were the typical "You're looking well!" and "So, what have you been up to?" kinda things, but THEN things took a turn for the weird.

The other day she asked me to go out with her one night for drinks.

Does that strike anyone else as strange?  I mean, back in the day, she was always very flirty with me, but then again, EVERYONE is flirty with me.  I kinda took it in stride.

But NOW?  I mean, its been 20 years.  Plus, from her pictures, I'm pretty sure that she's married now.  And, I'm ALSO pretty sure that I'M married now.

I mean, I GUESS it's possible that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill and her intentions were completely innocent.

But C'MON!!!!!!  There's no way i could be interpreting this any way other than what I'm thinking.

Again, i can't blame the poor girl.  It must have killed her all these years, thinking of me with her sister and wanting a turn for herself.  It must have been maddening for her.  She probably couldn't help herself....

It's like trying to stand on the sun without getting blinded.


Choleesa said...

she just wants a nibble thats all...

you know you dont blame her.

Verdant Earl said...

Catfish! Oh, and Facebook is cited in something like 45% of all divorce cases.

Slyde said...

chol: its true.. i cant blame her.

earl: make that forty-SIX!

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

It's never too late for that fantasy threesome. Ask your ex to join you and the sister for drinks. Ya only live once ya know!!!

Mrs. Hall said...

my only serious ex bf and i are facebook friends. someone i dated for 4 years. he just got divorced. it was sad.

the other psychos i dated don't try to friend me. i bet they can't work a computer anyway. they were a dumb lot. stupid losers. making me buy their ciggerettes and spring for gas.

anyway. go out to drinks as a double date!!

and then blog about it!!

that would be awesome!!

Unknown said...

Clearly she wants to bone. Clearly.

Unknown said...

Clearly she wants to bone. Clearly.

Yvonne said...

Oh she wants you, that shouldn't even be a question. -your post cracked me up!

2abes said...

maybe she suffers from a mental illness also....must run in the family..

Chris H said...

Seriously, she's in la la land. don't go there!
We don't want the poor girl blinded by the light shining out you butt!!! (said ever so nicely of course) lol