Monday, December 10, 2012

Your First........


No, I’m not talking about THAT first……

That’s a rude and insensitive question. We don’t degrade ourselves with such potty talk around here. This is all highbrow shit.

No, I’m talking about the first album you ever owned.

C’mon, think back. Surely you remember the first album that you ever went out to a store to purchase.
And the first young fuck who tells me that albums weren’t sold anymore when they were first buying music so they bought CD’s will get a donkey punch right in the hoo-ha from yours truly.

Regardless, for the purposes of our discussion, your first CD will work, too. I just want to know what the first bit of music you ever owned was.

The reason I’m bringing this up is because I was hanging out with some friends the other day and we were discussing this very topic, and much to my horror, I was forced to dig up from my subconscious that the first album I ever owned was this….


Yes, that’s right.

Funkytown, performed by Lipps, Inc, was the first album I ever owned. I used to sit in my basement, with my old turntable, and play this record just so I could hear those motivationally inspiring words “Won’t you take me to…. FUNKY-TOWWWWWN!”, over and over and over again.

Yes, I know. Quite embarrassing. I’m man enough to admit that I owned this steaming pile of horse hucky.

But I DO have a defense:

1) It was purchased for me as a birthday gift from a friend, so I did not buy it for myself, which should count for SOMETHING. The fact that he bought it for me because I loved the song and would sing it all day probably negates any positive light I could spin on this fact.

2) In 1980, the disco crazy was still pretty much in full swing. Ok, maybe it was on the decline a bit, but there were still a lot of people doing The Hustle out there.

3) This album was my first musical acquisition, it’s true, but the second album I ever owned was Queen’s “The Game”, and then I followed THAT up with my third album, Ozzy Ozzborne’s “Diary Of A Madman”, so I should at least get some street cred back for those other two.

Anyway, that’s my defense. While I am indeed embarrassed that the fine folks of Lipps Inc were the ones that popped my musical cherry, I DO have to admit that when I hear this song, even to this day, it brings a smile to my face because it brings me back to my parents basement, and that old warbly turntable, and to a 11 year old Slyde who didn’t yet know a damn thing about anything, even if I thought I did.

So, step right up and embarrass yourself with me....... who was YOUR first?

15 comments:

CPalermo21 said...

The first piece of music I remember purchasing -- actually taking money from my allowance and making a conscious choice to go buy it -- was the single "Turn it on again" by Genesis (also 1980).

I did listen to a bunch of Kiss when I was younger though - so I remember that I owned pretty much every album up til 1979's Dynasty - but those were presents that I got for birthdays/Christmas. The first thing I remember purchasing was the Genesis 45.

Heff said...

KISS - Dressed To Kill. (The album cover was much cooler than the content, though)

I WILL give you props for a DRAMATIC COMEBACK purchasing Diary Of A Madman.

Slyde said...

chris: i can honestly say that, although i liked some of Genesis' music, i never really cared for them as a band.. im not sure why.

Heff: yes, it WAS quite a turnaround, wasnt it?

Dr Zibbs said...

Foreigner - Double Vision (awful!)

Slyde said...

wow, i never would have guessed, zibby...

B.E. Earl said...

Pretty sure the first vinyl album I ever purchased was The Who's "Quadrophenia" around 1977 or so. But I had older brothers and sisters, so I pretty much just stole/borrowed their stuff instead of buying new stuff.

First cassette tape was definitely Van Halen's debut album. I do remember that the first CD I ever purchased was Anthrax "Attack of the Killer B's" around 1991.

Annabelle Archer said...

I can't believe I am about to admit this.

Air Supply. Pretty sure it was a greatest hits.

I'm only (nearly) 37, don't judge!

Choleesa said...

I can most DEFINITELY top all y'all...
Heff, no judging!!!
My first record was............
Hangs head in embarrassed shame.....
CULTURE CLUB, COLOUR BY NUMBERS.

Happy Mommy said...

I feel so young! My first album was Aerosmith, "Eat the Rich" (It was a present from my brother, who had grown tired of my taking all his cassettes so I could dub them.) But you know, I don't buy a lot of albums. I've gone most of my life just listening to the music choices of others. Or, y'know using Pandora and the like.

MarkD60 said...

Paul McCartney and Wings, Venus and Mars. I still have it, unscratched and in perfect shape.

Slyde said...

earl: and here we always thought that the only album you ever owned was by Right Said Fred

anna: no judging, here....

chol: i thought i had won the "gay" award, but i think you just wrested the crown from atop my head...

happy: i'm with you.. i never bought many albums.. i mostly tapes songs from the radio growing up. now, i pirate them off the internet.

mark: i'll give ya 10 bucks for it

Paticus said...

It was either "Glass Houses" by Billy Joel or "The Soft Parade" by the Doors. They were definitely 1st and second, and right around the same time.

Slyde said...

i was never a Doors fan, but i love me some local-boy Billy Joel. Glass Houses was a great album

Bruce Johnson said...

My memory is pretty week in this department, but I believe that it was "Disrali Gears" by Cream (I was ahead of my time)

Bruce Johnson said...

I can't be positive, but I believe it was Disrali Gears by Cream, (I was ahead of my time)