That’s a rude and insensitive question. We don’t degrade ourselves with such potty talk around here. This is all highbrow shit.
No, I’m talking about the first album you ever owned.
C’mon, think back. Surely you remember the first album that you ever went out to a store to purchase.
And the first young fuck who tells me that albums weren’t sold anymore when they were first buying music so they bought CD’s will get a donkey punch right in the hoo-ha from yours truly.
Regardless, for the purposes of our discussion, your first CD will work, too. I just want to know what the first bit of music you ever owned was.
The reason I’m bringing this up is because I was hanging out with some friends the other day and we were discussing this very topic, and much to my horror, I was forced to dig up from my subconscious that the first album I ever owned was this….
Yes, that’s right.
Funkytown, performed by Lipps, Inc, was the first album I ever owned. I used to sit in my basement, with my old turntable, and play this record just so I could hear those motivationally inspiring words “Won’t you take me to…. FUNKY-TOWWWWWN!”, over and over and over again.
Yes, I know. Quite embarrassing. I’m man enough to admit that I owned this steaming pile of horse hucky.
But I DO have a defense:
1) It was purchased for me as a birthday gift from a friend, so I did not buy it for myself, which should count for SOMETHING. The fact that he bought it for me because I loved the song and would sing it all day probably negates any positive light I could spin on this fact.
2) In 1980, the disco crazy was still pretty much in full swing. Ok, maybe it was on the decline a bit, but there were still a lot of people doing The Hustle out there.
3) This album was my first musical acquisition, it’s true, but the second album I ever owned was Queen’s “The Game”, and then I followed THAT up with my third album, Ozzy Ozzborne’s “Diary Of A Madman”, so I should at least get some street cred back for those other two.
Anyway, that’s my defense. While I am indeed embarrassed that the fine folks of Lipps Inc were the ones that popped my musical cherry, I DO have to admit that when I hear this song, even to this day, it brings a smile to my face because it brings me back to my parents basement, and that old warbly turntable, and to a 11 year old Slyde who didn’t yet know a damn thing about anything, even if I thought I did.
So, step right up and embarrass yourself with me....... who was YOUR first?