Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The Truth Hurts

Her: What do you think of this outfit on me?

Him: It’s great.

Her: You’re not even looking at me!

Him: I already know what you look like.

Her: Seriously, how do I look? I want to wear this to work today.

Him: You really want to know?

Her: Yes! That’s why I asked you.

Him: I don’t like it.

Her: What? Why? What’s wrong with it?

Him: Nothing is ‘WRONG’ with it. I just don’t like it.

Her: It figures YOU don’t like it. You don’t like anything except clothes that make me look like a hooker.

Him: What can I say? I know what I like.

Her: Will you please be serious? I need to leave for work soon!

Him: What else do you want me to say? I don’t like it. I think it makes you look frumpy.

Her: Frumpy? This is NOT a frumpy outfit! You wouldn’t know a frumpy outfit if one walked up and smacked you in the ass…..

Him: Anyone who wears THAT outfit wouldn’t be able to smack me in the ass.

Her: Why not?

Him: Because the type of person who wears outfits like that would break their hip if they tried to smack me since they’d be about 95 years old.

Her: You’re an asshole.

Him: Maybe, but at least I don’t dress like I’m about to do the fucking Charleston.

Her: Nice.

Him: Thanks!

Her: Well, I’m going to change, anyway.

Him: What? Why? You said you liked that outfit!

Her: No, not really.

Him: Then why the hell did you ask me if I liked it?

Her: I just wanted to know your opinion.

Him: Thanks for wasting 10 minutes of my life, Bea Arthur.

Her: You’re welcome, jackass.


Choleesa said...

hahahahahahaha, that sounds like one of my conversations at home, only with less cursing, and name calling.

Verdant Earl said...

You should be nicer to your wife. She puts up with a tremendous amount of shit from her hubby. That guy is a dick.

Heff said...

I understand and feel your pain, but I have to do the EXACT OPPOSITE with Donna.

D : "Honey, HOW does this look for work tomorrow ?"

H : "NOPE. Too much cleavage."

D : "What ? I thought you LOVED my cleavage..."

H : "I DO, But there's no reason to share with the general public. I'm not in a giving mood today."

D : "FINE THEN. Please hand me my Ultra-thick sweater, and Super Push 'Em Up bra, please..."

H : "Jesus Ayche......."

Unknown said...

I try to have a strict don't ask if you aren't ready to hear the 100% truth tell policy.

I'm way to blunt and way too honest, people don't ask me much.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

I bet you would like it if Bea did smack you on the ass. She looks like she could throw a helluva punch. God rest her soul!!!

2abes said...

Role playing again???

MarkD60 said...

Have you ever had an argument where you agree in the beginning but she keeps on arguing anyway? That drives me crazy.
Her: Want to go out to dinner tonight?
Me: Sure:
Her: because we never go out.
Me: Lets go.
Her: I'M TIRED OF STAYING IN ALL THE TIME! I want to go out!
me: Lets go.
Her: *&%#@**&%!!! (stomps away, mad)

Dr Zibbs said...

HAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! GREAT POST!!!!

Chris H said...

Was that a hypothetical conversation... or one between you and Fizz?
If it was between you two.. ONYA! lol

Elle Sees said...

hehe men! just kiddin'