Friday, September 14, 2012


I have a confession to make that might make you all think lesser of me.

I had an affair this week.

It was just one time, mind you.  That's certainly no big deal in the grand scheme of the world, right?

I mean, what two consenting adults choose to do with each other shouldn't be the end of the world.

I refuse to beat myself up about it.  It happened, and that's that.

The thing is, i think i want to do it again.

I thought that the experience was mind-blowing, and i don't want it to end with just this one time.

Plus, she was much cheaper than the girl i usually use to get blown.

Wait a minute.... did you guys think i was talking about having sex?

You filthy, filthy animals, you!  Get your damn minds out of the gutter!  Don't you realize that this is an upscale blog?  I don't talk smut talk here!

No, you can go to OTHER blogs for that kind of potty talk.  Around THESE parts, the discussions pertain to topics ABOVE the bathing suit area, thank you very much!

So, no.  I don't want to cheat on the ol' Ball and Chain......

... i want to cheat on my hairdresser.

You see, I've been getting my hair cut by the same girl for about 20 years now.  I met her back when we were both young, single, and stupid.  At least I was stupid.  I'm pretty sure she was always smarter than me.  And I'm also pretty sure that I'm still stupid.

Getting off track here .............

Like I said, I've been going to this chick to get my hair cut for a damn long time now.  Even when she has moved to different shops, which she has done about 8 times over the years, I've followed her along like a obedient soldier to her new digs.

And we've become friendly over the years.  We've seen each other grow up, get married, have kids, etc.

And i like the way she cuts my hair.  I always have.

But for the last few months, she's been having some health issues, and she has barely been working.  Almost every time i try to make an appointment with her, she has to cancel at the last minute because she's not feeling well.

Anyway, i hadn't gotten a haircut in a few months, mostly because every time i tried to make an appointment she would cancel it.  But my hair was out of control, so i finally had to do something about it.

So, this week, when she AGAIN canceled on me, i asked if anyone else was available.

And that's how i met Christine.

Christine was very nice.  Very friendly.

She also had nice legs, but that's not at ALL relevant.  Fuck it, of course its relevant.

Anyway, she could have had SIX legs for all i care, because she gave me a kick-ass haircut.

So, my question to you is, should i dump my current girl and hook up with my new booty-call hair-cutter?

Or, should i be a doting and loyal man and stick with my current girl?

And yes, i do fully realize that none of this really matters.  I mean, c'mon, it's ME we're talking about here!  Even if fucking Stevie Wonder cut my hair, I'd still come out looking like the hottest piece of ass on the planet.  You just can't fuck with divine perfection.

It's like saying that the Mona Lisa looks like shit now because someone changed the style of nail that they used to hang it on the wall.


Verdant Earl said...

You spelled infidelity wrong in the title. This has been a public service announcement. Please feel free to fix it and then claim that it was never wrong in the first place. You're welcome.

Anonymous said...

Wait'll you have a follower (female) cut your hair, now that IS mind blowing!!!

Heff said...

Dump your current hair cutress, and take Heff's advice.

Back when Heff used to BOTHER getting haircuts, I'd always pick the hottest, bustiest chick I could find, and ALWAYS request a SHAMPOO JOB, so when they had to reach forward to place my head in the sink, HEFF GOT A BIG OL' SHOT O' BREAST STRAIGHT TO THE MOUTH, CUM'MOAN !!!

Slyde said...

earlsie: as soon as i hit enter, i realized that it was mispelled, and i also realized that you would jump thru fire to be the first one to point it out.

bama: i dont think i'd trust any of the chicks around here with scissors

heff: yeah, isnt that great? i sit still and watch the boobies...

Yvonne said...

Sometimes, even the best relationships must end. So, suck it up, break things off with your go-to woman and start your new hair-affair with Christine. Easy peasy.

Anonymous said...

If you usual chick gets better, then you can go back to her. But for now, new chick sounds good. Lol. A change is as good as a holiday, and all that.

Dr Zibbs said...

Oh my God this reminds of of a similar story of when I dumped my hair girl! I need to write a post about it.

rmm said...

You're a crack up. Thanks for the laugh.

meleah rebeccah said...

hmmmm... that's a tough one. I would never cheat on my hairdresser, but that's because NO ONE else does my hair like she does. But, I also wouldn't want to walk around looking all scruffy due to cancelled appointments.

Jill said...

Oh I don't know. I haven't had a regular hair dresser in way too many years to offer an opinion I think. It's sort of a rock and a hard place type situation. :-(