So, the other day I walked in on some chick going to the bathroom.
It was NOT everything I dreamed it would be.
Honestly, I was more pissed off than anything else that this stupid asshat didn’t think to lock the damn door before she decided to drop her bloomers in a house full of people.
But what REALLY baffles me is what she said as I was opening the door on her.
Now, think about yourselves for a minute, and how YOU might handle someone suddenly walking into the bathroom as you were in the middle of doing your business….
I know I don’t speak for EVERYONE, but I would hazard a guess that if I were sitting on the toilet, and someone walked in on me, I might utter something like one of THESE possible phrases:
“Hey, I’m in here!”
“Close the door!”
“It’s Occupied, fucker!”
“Does anyone else find Dick Cheney Hot?”
Ok, maybe that last one isn’t something I would yell out loud. I’d probably just keep that one to my private thoughts…..
But, you get the point, right?
If someone was about to walk in on you, you would like to think that it would elicit an APPROPRIATE response.
You wana know what I heard as I opened the bathroom door?
“Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!”
Seriously, what the fuck is that?
Honestly, as I was opening the door and heard someone saying “HI”, all I did was look around to see who was saying “Hi” to me. When I didn’t see anyone, I kept on truckin’ into the bathroom…..
…. Where I got QUITE the unexpected eyeful.
Even weirder, when she finally came out of the bathroom, she just walked past me without saying a word. If it was ME who had just gotten walked in on, I would have at least acknowledged that the other person just saw me naked from the waist-down. I would probably make an incredibly witty joke about it. Then, we would all laugh like schoolgirls for hours. I’m brilliant, as you know.
But how awesome I am is neither here nor there for the purposes of this discussion.
Next time, just lock the damn bathroom door, or at the very least, prepare yourself with a retort that makes some sense and is applicable to the fucking situation.
Cause next time, I’m continuing on in and just sitting down on her lap…..