Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Selling Out To The Man

You very well might be seeing some corporate shilling going on around here before long.

Back when I started this blog, I didn’t intend to make any money from it.  Hell, no one ever came here except me and one or two members of my family, and the occasional pervert (also a member of my family).

Then, a few years back, they started that ‘Google Ads’ thing, so I started putting ads on this site.  I got a few cents per click, and in the beginning the money was accumulating REALLY damn slowly…. 

Like, a ‘nickel a week’ slowly.

Then, the rate I was earning money started slowly increasing.  Then, the money REALLY started picking up.  Near the end, I was earning over $10 a day.  Since Google only pays you out when you pass the $100 mark, I FINALLY thought that all the typing that my pretty fingers were doing  was finally going to give me some scratch.

Then, because Google is run by a bunch of evil asshats, I got ‘audited’ when I passed $100, and I got an automated email saying that they suspected fraudulent activity and that they would NOT be paying me out and my account was suspended. 

When I got that email, I was like ‘Wtf!?”  Here I was, shilling for them for about a year, and then they pulled the rug out from under me when I was finally about to get some dough?  After I got booted from the  program, I Googled what happened to me (ah, the irony!), and found stories from THOUSANDS of other bloggers who got fucked the same way  (none as gorgeous as me, though… although I’m not sure that’s relevant).

It hasn’t ALL been bad in terms of making some scratch, though.  A few times I’ve been approached by companies who offered to give me money for inserting links to their sites (one a reputable Jewelry store) embedded in old posts.  When they first approached me, I thought it was all a bullshit scam but in the end, I DID get paid.  That’s happened here and there over the years, but it certainly hasn’t been enough money to retire from.

Anyway, the point of this post is that earlier this week, I got approached by a company who offered to pay me a not-insignificant amount of money if they could send me a guest post.  AND, it’s actually a company that I’ve heard of.  They sell ‘adult’ items (and no, I don’t mean turtlenecks).

I asked Fritz what I should do, pretty positive that I knew what her answer would be, and was quite surprised when she said “Are you fucking kidding me?  Do it!”

So yeah, I probably will do it, and you may very well be seeing an infomercial for double-headed dildos here in the near future….

… just like the ones that are on television at 4A.M. every morning…..

… Except without Suzanne Summers…..

… and with dildos.

So, will you all still respect me in the morning if I get a little sumthin sumthin on the side?  A girl’s gotta eat, ya know. 

I promise that I’ll use protection.


Verdant Earl said...



Choleesa said...

I hope its quality stuff......
cause you just never know when a girl might need that kinda stuff...

Im all for the ones with the rotating beads inside....

just sayin.

Slyde said...

earl: mission accomplished.

chol: those beads hurt my rectum.

wait, what?

Heff said...

Nothin' wrong with being a whore as long as you're honest and upfront about it !

Adsense refused to pay ME because I have potty mouth.

Unknown said...

Wait...someone wants to pay you to be dirty?

And how do I get in on that action?

sybil law said...

Not the lame sex toy review. So many people have done it.
Uh, but.... okay.

2abes said...

take the money and run...btw, i am expecting a personal review of all items advertised...

Happy Mommy said...

Will the guest-post be offering a giveaway?

Slyde said...

heff: honestly, i havent heard from anyone who adsense HASNT fucked over..

anna: quit setting me up like that unless you are prepared for a VERY dirty answer...

sybil: yeah, i know... but unfortunatly so many people have NOT given me money, so i'm gonna go for it

abes: i was hoping to test them out on you

happy: honestly, i dont know. They are supposedly writing up the post now, and they will be sending it to me for publishing.... but they never mentioned a giveaway, so i dont think so

Bruce Johnson said...

When they said 'adult items' I assumed they mean granny pampers and walkers......

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I'm sure your glowing prose will be exactly what they are looking for.

Good luck!