Mini-Me never fails to leave me speechless.
Last night’s conversation, after we got
through our nightly bedtime story (this month’s installment… The Spiderwick
Chronicles):
Mini-Me:
Daddy, can I ask you something?
Stud:
Sure.
Mini-Me:
Daddy, am I gay?
Stud: …..
Mini-Me:
Daddy?
Stud:
Are you WHAT?
Mini-Me:
Am I gay?
Stud:
Why the fuc….. I mean, why would you ask me that?
Mini-Me:
Because I think I might be.
Stud:
Well OK, let’s talk about it.
Mini-Me:
Ok.
Stud:
What makes you think you might be gay?
Mini-Me: Because most of my friends are
girls……
Stud: THAT’S why you think you’re gay?
Mini-Me:
Yeah.
Stud:
Son, having friends that are girls is NOT what makes you gay.
Mini-Me:
It’s not?
Stud:
No, believe me, if hanging out with girls made you gay, then I’d be Liberace!
Mini-Me:
Who?
Stud:
Never mind. Son, having girls as
friends doesn’t make you gay.
Mini-Me:
Are you sure?
Stud:
Pretty fuc… I mean, yeah. I’m sure.
Mini-Me:
Ok then.
Stud:
Ok then.
Mini-Me:
Well then, what DOES make you gay?
Stud:
Too many Tequila shots.
Mini-Me:
What?
Stud:
Nothing, forget I said that.
Mini-Me:
Really daddy. I want to know.
Stud:
Son, a boy is gay if he finds other boys attractive. A girl is gay if they find other GIRLS
attractive.
Mini-Me:
THAT’S what gay means? Really?
Stud:
Really.
Mini-Me:
Oh. OK.
Stud:
Son, do you find other boys attractive?
Mini-Me:
Yuck! No!
Stud:
Ok then, I don’t think you’re gay.
Mini-Me:
Ok.
Stud:
Do you think GIRLS are attractive?
Mini-Me:
No! Girls are gross!
Stud:
You won’t think that much longer…
Mini-Me:
Can we please stop talking about this?
I don’t like it.
Stud:
Sure.
Mini-Me:
Good.
Stud:
You DO know, that no matter who you like, that I will love you no matter
what, and you can always talk to me, right?
I don’t care who you like, as long as you’re a happy and healthy boy.
Mini-Me:
I know, daddy.
Stud:
Ok then. Goodnight, son.
Mini-Me:
Goodnight, daddy. What are you
going to do after I go to sleep?
Stud:
I’m going to go drink a bottle of Tequil…
Mini-Me:
Daddy?
Stud:
On second thought, maybe I’ll just have some milk.
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15 comments:
awww, i love this conversation. Chewie is really big into "Who's in love" and "Who's in a couple" because we have this book about two gay penguins who are a couple and they have a baby... So, now he's always asking: Are you and daddy in a couple?
Yes
Because you're in love?
Yes.
So, me and Artoo are a couple because we're in love?
...so close...
and if we're in lust, does that make us a couple, too?
Toasted Almond Guy!!!!
ah, i wonder what my old bartender is doing these days?
Don't you just want to squeeze him for being so adorable? God, kids are so incredible. Loved this post. What a good Dad you are!
he's the bestest.. i cant get enuff of him..
I have quite a few gay friends, so Gilda knows what's what, but she did concern me when she said, "I think Brooklynn and I might be gay sometimes". Mostly because they think it's hysterical to show their asses and stuff. I had to tell her that only made them slutty.
Ha! I'm kidding.
Also, so Stud is Mini Me's dad?! I'm all confused now.
;)
that hurts, Syb....
That conversation is awesome! You are such a great dad! Kids ask/say things that really take you off guard, I know mine do that all the time. Nothing I won't discuss but just surprising when they first bring it up. It is hilarious that he thought that meant he was gay. I also love that you told him you would be there for him just the same whether he was or wasn't gay.
That's good stuff. You're a sweet daddy.
Ha! I'm glad you set your mini-you straight on that one.
So, does tequila make everyone gay? I thought that was just me.
you handled that fairly. lol mini-me's logic is so funny - makes you think about the messages we send out to society lol
How incredibly sweet! Now I want to go hug my six year old nephew!
HAHA! The Liberace line killed me!
And uh...do you want to rub butts?
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