Thursday, May 03, 2012

We'll Have A Gay Ol' Time....

Mini-Me never fails to leave me speechless.

Last night’s conversation, after we got through our nightly bedtime story (this month’s installment… The Spiderwick Chronicles):

Mini-Me:  Daddy, can I ask you something?

Stud:  Sure.

Mini-Me:  Daddy, am I gay?

Stud: …..

Mini-Me:  Daddy?

Stud:  Are you WHAT?

Mini-Me:  Am I gay?

Stud:  Why the fuc….. I mean, why would you ask me that?

Mini-Me:  Because I think I might be.

Stud:  Well OK, let’s talk about it.

Mini-Me:  Ok.

Stud:  What makes you think you might be gay?

Mini-Me: Because most of my friends are girls……

Stud: THAT’S why you think you’re gay?

Mini-Me:  Yeah.

Stud:  Son, having friends that are girls is NOT what makes you gay.
Mini-Me:  It’s not?

Stud:  No, believe me, if hanging out with girls made you gay, then I’d be Liberace!

Mini-Me:  Who?

Stud:  Never mind.  Son, having girls as friends doesn’t make you gay.

Mini-Me:  Are you sure?

Stud:  Pretty fuc… I mean, yeah.  I’m sure.

Mini-Me:  Ok then.
Stud:  Ok then.

Mini-Me:  Well then, what DOES make you gay?

Stud:  Too many Tequila shots.

Mini-Me:  What?

Stud:  Nothing, forget I said that.
Mini-Me:  Really daddy.  I want to know.

Stud:  Son, a boy is gay if he finds other boys attractive.  A girl is gay if they find other GIRLS attractive.

Mini-Me:  THAT’S what gay means?  Really?

Stud:  Really.

Mini-Me:  Oh.  OK.

Stud:  Son, do you find other boys attractive?

Mini-Me:  Yuck!  No!

Stud:  Ok then, I don’t think you’re gay.

Mini-Me:  Ok.

Stud:  Do you think GIRLS are attractive?

Mini-Me:  No!  Girls are gross!

Stud:  You won’t think that much longer…

Mini-Me:  Can we please stop talking about this?  I don’t like it.

Stud:  Sure.

Mini-Me:  Good.

Stud:  You DO know, that no matter who you like, that I will love you no matter what, and you can always talk to me, right?  I don’t care who you like, as long as you’re a happy and healthy boy.

Mini-Me:  I know, daddy.

Stud:  Ok then.  Goodnight, son.

Mini-Me:  Goodnight, daddy.  What are you going to do after I go to sleep?

Stud:  I’m going to go drink a bottle of Tequil…  

Mini-Me:  Daddy?

Stud:  On second thought, maybe I’ll just have some milk.


i am the diva said...

awww, i love this conversation. Chewie is really big into "Who's in love" and "Who's in a couple" because we have this book about two gay penguins who are a couple and they have a baby... So, now he's always asking: Are you and daddy in a couple?
Because you're in love?
So, me and Artoo are a couple because we're in love? close...

Slyde said...

and if we're in lust, does that make us a couple, too?

Verdant Earl said...

Toasted Almond Guy!!!!

Slyde said...

ah, i wonder what my old bartender is doing these days?

BB said...

Don't you just want to squeeze him for being so adorable? God, kids are so incredible. Loved this post. What a good Dad you are!

Slyde said...

he's the bestest.. i cant get enuff of him..

sybil law said...

I have quite a few gay friends, so Gilda knows what's what, but she did concern me when she said, "I think Brooklynn and I might be gay sometimes". Mostly because they think it's hysterical to show their asses and stuff. I had to tell her that only made them slutty.
Ha! I'm kidding.
Also, so Stud is Mini Me's dad?! I'm all confused now.

Slyde said...

that hurts, Syb....

Radioactive Tori said...

That conversation is awesome! You are such a great dad! Kids ask/say things that really take you off guard, I know mine do that all the time. Nothing I won't discuss but just surprising when they first bring it up. It is hilarious that he thought that meant he was gay. I also love that you told him you would be there for him just the same whether he was or wasn't gay.

Unknown said...

That's good stuff. You're a sweet daddy.

Unknown said...

Ha! I'm glad you set your mini-you straight on that one.

Happy Mommy said...

So, does tequila make everyone gay? I thought that was just me.

Anonymous said...

you handled that fairly. lol mini-me's logic is so funny - makes you think about the messages we send out to society lol

Yvonne said...

How incredibly sweet! Now I want to go hug my six year old nephew!

Dr Zibbs said...

HAHA! The Liberace line killed me!

And you want to rub butts?