Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Hulk Smash!


My male masseuse Earl and I went to see The Avengers this weekend.

Being the comic book fanboy that I am, I just HAD to see it this weekend.  And because my weekend dance card was pretty full already (I’m very popular!), we decided to see it at 9:30 AM Saturday Morning.
You heard me right.  9:30AM.

You really have to be a fanatic to set your damn alarm clock on one of the only 2 days a week where you actually can sleep, in order to haul your ass to the theatre to watch a movie at a time when most people are eating their Honey Nut Cheerios.

But go to the movies, we did.  And even though I knew it was going to do big business last weekend, I was still amazed that the line to buy tickets at that unreasonable hour of the day was already 100 people long.

But being the tech-savvy stud that I am, I had already purchased my tickets the night before through Fandango.  They even sent me a scan of my ticket on my Iphone so I didn’t even have to wait at that damn Fandango Kiosk.  All I had to do was show my phone to the pimply ticket-taker, and we were in.

What follows is my official review of The Avengers:

Holy crap on a cracker!

The Avengers is, hands down, the best superhero movie ever made.  No prior superhero movie comes close to displaying the genius that director Josh Whedon showed in this movie.

The story was great, full of action, and I have to say that even with such a large cast, there wasn’t even ONE character that got left behind with a minor storyline.  Every one of those heroes had a major part to play, and each of their stories was told well.

For ANYONE who is a fan of the comics, this is without a doubt, a must-see.  For me, it’s also a must-buy as soon as they release it on Blu-Ray.  It was just THAT good.

Earlsie and I saw it in IMAX 3D.  The IMAX was amazing, but if I am to poo on the parade at all, it would be with the 3D.  It just wasn’t very good.  Most scenes didn’t even use 3D at all, and those that did felt tacked on.  If I had to do it again (and I just might), IMAX 2D would be the way to go.

Am I biased where this movie is concerned?  Probably.  Admittedly, I was SO excited for this movie to begin, that I almost forgot to give Earl’s thigh a gentle squeeze as the lights dimmed and the movie started, something that I have been tormenting him with for every movie we have seen together for the last 20 years or so.  I am here to report that his inner thigh is still just as meaty and succulent as it was 20 years ago.  Yummy!

And hands down, the best part of this movie was The Hulk.  But again, I may be a bit biased here.  As I’ve mentioned here before, I have a kinda man-crush on the character.  I have been a collector of the Hulk since I was a kid in 1974 when I walked into my local 7-11 with a quarter and bought my very first issue.  I now own every issue of the incredible hulk that has ever been made for the past 43 years.  And yes, I still get laid.

Anyway, to see The Hulk brought to life so perfectly, and kicking so much ass, was just the icing on this near-perfect fanboy’s cake.

You NEED to see this movie.  Now.

22 comments:

Suzi Q said...

Slyde, a male masseuse is a masseur, just ask John Travolta! There's your Canadian sass for the day!

Slyde said...

i'll take your canuky sassiness any day! Hey miss! Long time no speak!

Dr Zibbs said...

I didn't like it but now that you mention it I did like the Hulk.

And do you think the screenshot from Fandgo is easy for someone to forge? I think I deserve some free movies since I go all the time. That's not REALLY stealing is it?

sybil law said...

Oh fine - I guess I'll get out and see this frigging movie in the theater!

Heff said...

DAMN ! Suzi Q beat me to the John Revolting joke !

B.E. Earl said...

I've got a strict no touching the masseur policy, so when he grabs my thigh like that...it hurts, okay? Inside. ::sniff::

Being Brazen said...

Absolutely loved The Avengers too - such a very good film.

Being Brazen said...

Ps - I saw it in 3D too. I ned to go see it again

Being Brazen said...

I mean "need"

2abes said...

Hope to see it soon...Did you try the popcorn trick on Earl?

Slyde said...

zibs: i read your review the other day and was suprised to hear you didnt like this.. i thought you were the yin to my yang....

sybil: yes, you do. run.

brazen: did you like the 3d? as i mentioned, i thought it took away from it all.

abes: no, but HE did try the junior mints trick on ME...

Slyde said...

heff: yeah, i almost threw a jab at old Vinny Barbarino in there myself when i was writing this..

earl: I'll make it REALLY hurt inside... wait, what?

Chantel said...

Hah--your comments slay me! Anyway, we're headed there this weekend (not the masseur, the movie) and am prying to find it NOT in 3D. Despise 3D. Honest to God it seems like they've run out of interesting plot lines so they throw in the 3D trick to get idiots to go anyway! If you can't lose yourself in that 2D screen, enraptured by the STORY, forgetting all reality (including juicy thighs) then the movie cannot be saved by special effects. (seriously, Avatar was just a re-do of Fern Gully; great imagery, same old story)

What's next, smell-a-movies?

Teeni said...

Hi Slyde! It's been a while. I found my blogging mojo again but am at a new location. I hope you've been well. I have to agree with the person Chantel. I also do not like 3D. But I did like The Avengers! The Hulk really WAS the best part of the movie. I wanted to rewind and replay his scene with Loki over and over. But I guess it is good that I couldn't or I might have peed on the seat from laughing so hard. I think they frown on that at the theater.

Slyde said...

chant: i couldnt agree more about Avatar.... great effects, ho hum story...

teeni: wow, the old crowd is really coming out of the woodwork today? how have you been?

Yvonne said...

Tech-savvy and stud, do not belong in the same sentence. bahaha! Anyway, I'm going to watch it Friday night, I'll let you know what I think. I used to watch The Incredible Hulk on tv, it used to always make me sad at the end. Because he always had to leave at the end of every episode.

teeni said...

I've been pretty good although I did lose the old blog mojo for quite some time. I never stopped thinking of all you crazy bloggers though. And I guess I finally found some mojo again. So here I am. So good to see you still here and that you and B.E. Earl are still together. LOL

Cocaine Princess said...

On my list of movies to watch!

Cocaine Princess said...

On my list of movies to watch!

Mrs. Hall said...

i am very excited to see this. jess wheedon is my hero.

btw. have you heard of the new movie prometheus? (sp?)

my husband let out a little girl scream when he figured out what it was.

:)

Chris H said...

Wow what an impressive write up! I might just have to go see it now.

Bruce Johnson said...

Times are tight, I am saving my pennies to see Promethius