Hulk Smash!

My male masseuse Earl and I went to see The Avengers this weekend.

Being the comic book fanboy that I am, I just HAD to see it this weekend.  And because my weekend dance card was pretty full already (I’m very popular!), we decided to see it at 9:30 AM Saturday Morning.

You heard me right.  9:30AM.

You really have to be a fanatic to set your damn alarm clock on one of the only 2 days a week where you actually can sleep, in order to haul your ass to the theatre to watch a movie at a time when most people are eating their Honey Nut Cheerios.

But go to the movies, we did.  And even though I knew it was going to do big business last weekend, I was still amazed that the line to buy tickets at that unreasonable hour of the day was already 100 people long.

But being the tech-savvy stud that I am, I had already purchased my tickets the night before through Fandango.  They even sent me a scan of my ticket on my Iphone so I didn’t even have to wait at that damn Fandango Kiosk.  All I had to do was show my phone to the pimply ticket-taker, and we were in.

What follows is my official review of The Avengers:

Holy crap on a cracker!

The Avengers is, hands down, the best superhero movie ever made.  No prior superhero movie comes close to displaying the genius that director Josh Whedon showed in this movie.

The story was great, full of action, and I have to say that even with such a large cast, there wasn’t even ONE character that got left behind with a minor storyline.  Every one of those heroes had a major part to play, and each of their stories was told well.

For ANYONE who is a fan of the comics, this is without a doubt, a must-see.  For me, it’s also a must-buy as soon as they release it on Blu-Ray.  It was just THAT good.

Earlsie and I saw it in IMAX 3D.  The IMAX was amazing, but if I am to poo on the parade at all, it would be with the 3D.  It just wasn’t very good.  Most scenes didn’t even use 3D at all, and those that did felt tacked on.  If I had to do it again (and I just might), IMAX 2D would be the way to go.

Am I biased where this movie is concerned?  Probably.  Admittedly, I was SO excited for this movie to begin, that I almost forgot to give Earl’s thigh a gentle squeeze as the lights dimmed and the movie started, something that I have been tormenting him with for every movie we have seen together for the last 20 years or so.  I am here to report that his inner thigh is still just as meaty and succulent as it was 20 years ago.  Yummy!

And hands down, the best part of this movie was The Hulk.  But again, I may be a bit biased here.  As I’ve mentioned here before, I have a kinda man-crush on the character.  I have been a collector of the Hulk since I was a kid in 1974 when I walked into my local 7-11 with a quarter and bought my very first issue.  I now own every issue of the incredible hulk that has ever been made for the past 43 years.  And yes, I still get laid.

Anyway, to see The Hulk brought to life so perfectly, and kicking so much ass, was just the icing on this near-perfect fanboy’s cake.

You NEED to see this movie.  Now.