Today’s “Head Up Their Ass” Award

Let’s play the “Hypothetical” game today, shall we?

Let’s say, HYPOTHETICALLY, someone we ALL hypothetically know happens to work for a hypothetical company where he was forced to attend a hypothetical meeting yesterday, where the following hypothetical conversation took place.

Bright Bulb # 1: “Ok, I have run the audit file through the new software, and reviewed the results.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Great. Can you tell us your findings?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Well, I’ve got some good news and some …. not too good news….”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Ok, what’s the bad news?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Well, 97% of the records that were present in the audit file were rejected by the system due to invalid data.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “97%! That’s horrible! What could possibly be the good news?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Well, since our target number is to have a 95% failure rate, we are still well within our numbers!”

Bright Bulb # 2: “95% failure rate?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Yes, in our project plan, it states that we are targeting a 95% failure rate of return.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Bob, that is obviously a typo. We are actually targeting a 95% SUCCESS rate of return.”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Oh.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Bob?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Ok. Well, it appears then that our audit test didn’t go as well as we previously reported.”