Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Today’s “Head Up Their Ass” Award

Let’s play the “Hypothetical” game today, shall we?

Let’s say, HYPOTHETICALLY, someone we ALL hypothetically know happens to work for a hypothetical company where he was forced to attend a hypothetical meeting yesterday, where the following hypothetical conversation took place.

Bright Bulb # 1: “Ok, I have run the audit file through the new software, and reviewed the results.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Great. Can you tell us your findings?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Well, I’ve got some good news and some …. not too good news….”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Ok, what’s the bad news?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Well, 97% of the records that were present in the audit file were rejected by the system due to invalid data.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “97%! That’s horrible! What could possibly be the good news?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Well, since our target number is to have a 95% failure rate, we are still well within our numbers!”

Bright Bulb # 2: “95% failure rate?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Yes, in our project plan, it states that we are targeting a 95% failure rate of return.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Bob, that is obviously a typo. We are actually targeting a 95% SUCCESS rate of return.”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Oh.”

Bright Bulb # 2: “Bob?”

Bright Bulb # 1: “Ok. Well, it appears then that our audit test didn’t go as well as we previously reported.”

14 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

"Egg...were you that little boy?"

Slyde said...

i wish i remembered the next line...

B.E. Earl said...

I'll help you out. "No! No! But I used to beat the shit out him! "Why are you so fat? Why are so ugly?" Aaagghh!"

Slyde said...

yeah but whats the next line?

A Daft Scots Lass said...

poor bastard.

Slyde said...

yup!

sybil law said...

The next line is, "Great story, thanks."

:)

Chris H said...

DOH! That picture is 'disturbing'! lol

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I'm fascinated by the picture.....

2abes said...

sounds like a fortune 500 company...surely this must be a fabricated scenario...and don't call me surely

2abes said...

sounds like a fortune 500 company...surely this must be a fabricated scenario...and don't call me surely

CPalermo21 said...

I'm presuming you're neither of the aforementioned "bright bulbs"

Lotus07 said...

Since when did ou start working in my office?....no wait, in my office, the 95% error right would have been correct (my bad)

elizabeth said...

I think that's a pic of my ex...