Thursday, March 22, 2012

Trolling

I’m gonna let you in on a little secret……

I have a TEENSY bit of an ego problem.

I know, I know. I can’t believe it, either!

But it’s true.

Now if you DO happen to have an ego (like I do), and a blog (like I do), every comment that you get feeds into your self-inflated importance like Earl feeds on foot porn.

And don’t even get me started on when my “followers” count goes up! Man, every time that little number in the top right of this page goes up, my pants get just a LITTLE bit tighter.

Sometimes, the number doesn’t go up for weeks.

When that happens, I fall into a suicidal despair…..I sit alone in a dark room, not eating, staring blankly at the walls, and pooping in my pants.

We can’t have THAT, can we?

So, what’s a vain person to do when no one is paying attention to him?

Why, go trolling, of course!

In all honesty, I consider it more of playing a bit of blogging-“Russian Roulette” than stroking my tremendous ego.

What’s Trolling, you ask?

Well, first I pick one of my favorite blogs. I try to never pick the same one twice.

Then, I read through the posts on that blog until I find one that has a good number of comments.

Then I read the comments, and find one that I find very funny, or insightful. (ok, ok, sometimes I just pick someone who has a hot picture. It IS me, remember? Blow me).

Then I go to THAT person’s blog, and read their latest post. If I like what I read, then I leave a comment.

After I leave my comment, I pick another hot girl insightful commenter and jump to THEIR blog.

Rinse and repeat.

I try to see how many new and exciting blogs I can discover before I run out of luck.

I consider “runing out of luck” whenever I either reach an abandoned blog that hasn’t been updated in years, or all the chicks who post there are ugly (whichever comes first).

All kidding aside, I have discovered a lot of cool new people that way. Some of them, I never hear back from, but most at least stop by here once or twice and say “howdy!”

Some even start following me.

And some of them are even some of YOU, sticking with me through thick and thin, new best cyber-buds that I have now known for years and that I value immensely.

I haven’t done any trolling in a while, but I’m starting to feel that “itch”.

I think, before long, I’m gonna try to scratch it.

20 comments:

Heff said...

I used to do the EXACT SAME THING, but I called it "Campaigning".

It WORKS - I found all YOU CLASSY FUCKERS, DIDN'T I ?

sybil law said...

Hahahaha Heff!
And dude - that itch? Crabs.

Bouncin Barb said...

I worked hard at growing my blog. Now however, I have a hard time keeping up with the reading and commenting to over 100 blogs that I follow. I miss the simplicity of the early days. So glad you're one of my followers. I love your blog and your sense of humor (and your hotness)!

B.E. Earl said...

I thought it was called trolling if you were being a dick in the comments.

Actually, that fits you. Trolling it is.

sybil law said...

Nail. On. Head, Earl.

B.E. Earl said...

Sybil gets me. Or just gets truth. Same difference.

Annabelle said...

It's so flattering being one of your netted fish. Special really.

I kid. I know your stalk is genuine.

Muah
a

Brandy Rose said...

Its how I met you :D

2abes said...

hope you get lucky....do you and earl share a favorite pedicure blog?

MarkD60 said...

I do that! In fact, I have posted this same post before! I call it bloghopping!

Slyde said...

heff: i honestly dont remember HOW i met you heff... but i know that i deeply regret it :)

sybil: crabs? maybe...

barb: i could NEVER read that many blogs. I try to catch up on everyone on my blog role once a week. any more than that, and i'd crack...

earl: no no no... we call being a dick "Earlsing". No one remembers where the name came from...

Slyde said...

sybil: et, tu, darling?

earl: if sybil gets you any more, SHE'LL get crabs...

anna: with you, my infatuation is quite genuine... but you know that already...

brandy: i do believe you are right... i visited initially because thats one damn hot pic, but you're geekiness and love of zombies is what keeps me coming back for more...

abes: you'd have to relay all foot-related queries to earl. its his wheelhouse..

mark: bloghopping! i like it!

The Accidental Somebody said...

That's what I do too! Come to think of it, I just might have found you this way as well. Does this mean I get to blow you?

Chantel said...

Damn, Accidental--you don't waste time, eh? lol

I dig your definition of trolling, although if you stop when you hit middle-aged muffin tops talking about their kids or diets or dogs....how the hell do you get through more than three leaps-o-blog??!

Cocaine Princess said...

I found your blog through Lotus and always read your posts but never commented until you posted a comment on one of my posts. No worries, I've been reading your blog and following you even before I started commenting.

Lotus07 said...

Or, you could get a life....."

Kaylen said...

That's how I found most of the blogs I have on my reader. Typically if someone leaves a really funny comment, I want to have a chance to be entertained by them more so I go find their blog. I don't think it's really for them to come back and follow me. But maybe my ego isn't as big as yours....or maybe I just don't admit it.

The Six-Fingered Monkey said...

OMG! I do exactly the same thing... from the suicidal thoughts to the finding hot girls who read blogs thing.... and I thought I was fucking crazy!

Okay. I AM crazy and so are you.

Awesome.

Happy Mommy said...

I thought trolling was going to bars to pick up ugly chics with no self-esteem who put out? I'm so behind on the modern lingo.

My blog has been abandoned. I find that I only feel like commenting on other people's blogs.

Yvonne said...

Ok, I'm easy. You've sold me. Say hello to your newest follower! Let the games begin! heh.