More specifically, I get mad when I don’t get to have my O.J. in the morning.
Most people need some kind of pick-me-up in the morning. Some people need to get in an early morning jog. Some people need a big steaming cup of coffee.
For me, all I need is a nice glass of ice cold orange juice.
Just one glass, and I’m good to go. That one swig will keep me awake and looking fabulously sexy all day.
So, what exactly has my panties in a bunch today?
It’s when CERTAIN PEOPLE (*COUGH FRIZ COUGH*) decide that “Golly, a glass of orange juice would be nice right now!”, and pour themselves a big honkin’ glass of it, leaving me with an empty container in the morning, WITHOUT TELLING ME.
So, not knowing any better, the next day I bounce out of bed all wide-eyed with excitement and anticipation for my glass of morning Orange Juice, only to find 1/10th of an eye-dropper-full left in the damn container.
Sometimes, to add insult to the injury, while I am trying desperately to lick clean the inside of the container in a futile attempt to get my fix, I happen to look in the kitchen sink, only to find a half-full glass of orange juice, laying there among the dishes, mocking me.
On the few occasions where I have calmed myself down enough to ask about the offending glass, the reply I usually get has been, “Well, I decided I wanted some orange juice, so I poured myself a glass, but I couldn’t finish it all. What’s the big deal?”
Whats the big deal? WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? I’d like to try to pull that shit with her and her coffee in the morning, because believe me, if SHE ever came down from her morning stupor and opened her can of coffee to find it empty, I do believe that the world would be brought to DEFCON 1 with her wrath.
Sometimes, I even buy an extra containerof O.J. and try to hide it in the back of the refrigerator, behind something that I know she’ll never want, like Yoo-Hoo or some such shit, but no matter what I do, she inevitably manages to ferret out my secret stash and ruins my morning.
It’s almost enough to make me switch my morning pick-me-up to vodka. Or cocaine. Whichever’s cheaper and easier to get….. I’m not really up on these things.