Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Cujo

I thought that the whole damn point of neutering a dog was that it calms the little bastard down?

Well then, someone needs to go back to veterinary school, because since my little Ozzy has had his Cahones snipped, the little bastard is back to full-on puppy rage.

I’m serious. The little bugger is running through the house non-stop. As he runs past me, he apparently likes to jump up and take a quick chew on my finger. It hurts, so I yell at him, and he bolts into the kitchen where he slides around on the tile, only to charge back into the den to take another chomp out of me.

He’s got one of those big honkin’ satellite dishes on his head right now, to stop him from biting the stitches….

… and he’s STILL RUNNING AROUND LIKE A LUNATIC!

That’s pretty much been how my nights have gone for the past few days….

Chew… Yell… Run Away….

Chew… Yell… Run Away….

Chew… Yell… Run Away….

You might be surprised, but that starts to wear thin after the first four days or so.

Fritz thinks it’s hysterical. She says that he thinks I’m just playing with him, and that she feels bad for him because she thinks he’s frustrated with that big heavy thing on his head.

I’m not sure how he considers me laying on the couch with my eyes closed “playing” with him, but all I know is that he’d BETTER go back to fucking normal (or what was normal for HIM, anyway) when he gets this damn cone off of him and his stitches get removed in a few days….

… because this little bundle of ball-less fluff is chewing on my last nerve.


Don’t let that little face fool you. Underneath all that fluffy cuteness lies a ravenous wolf.

I DO believe that if he was 200lbs heavier, I’d be dead by now….

24 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

Nope, you're a pussy.

Annabelle said...

Ooh my...well...so there's a new alpha dog in the house...too bad...you've had a good run.

Cocaine Princess said...

That cute little face:

That's how they get you to take home which is why I avoid passing the pet stores in the mall.

sybil law said...

Hahaha!
I mean, not funny for YOU, but definitely funny for ME to read.
He's fucking with you because you haven't had your own snipped.
Yet.
Keep one eye open, dude.

Slyde said...

earl: at least i dont let 3 cats sleep on my head...

anna: yeah, i did have a decent run. i'm done now though...

cocaine: yup, walking past that pet store was my family's biggest mistake...

Slyde said...

sybil: i thought he'd be HAPPY now, without those things jingle-jangling everywhere he went..

apparently not.

tattytiara said...

The game is make the human yell, and she's great at it. You should be proud to have such a talented dog!

Heff said...

Look on the bright side - if you cut MY nuts off, I'd take a dump on your carpet.

B.E. Earl said...

That would be 4 cats. I have 4 cats, and I let them sleep wherever the hell they want. But they still aren't the boss of me.

Slyde said...

tatty: yup, he certainly is the master of that game... he seems to pride himself on being so good at it.

heff: lets just both agree to never do that, then....

earl: you keep telling yourself that, honey bunny...

elisecrets said...

That's the wolf?! That cutie!?

Post a video, I don't believe you ;)

Slyde said...

i DO have a video of the carnage... i'll have to post it soon..

Lotus07 said...

Been there, done that, 5 times over. You get used to it eventually. Having the big snip, makes no difference in a dog. He is still a puppy and will continue to be so for another 2 years at least. It will be worth it eventually......but it is a long eventually.

Mrs. Hall said...

so. i don't want to say i told you so. but i did suggest getting a used, pre potty trained and older dog. :)

AlleyCat said...

Nawwwww he's so cute!!!!!!

He's probably bored & soooooooooo excited & happy to see you when you gets home he gets a bit carried away :0)

Will you be taking him to puppy school???

A Daft Scots Lass said...

I'd be pretty fucking aggressive if you chopped my nuts off.

radioactive girl said...

I wonder if he's in pain and is maybe being more aggressive because he doesn't know what else to do. I remember Maya went through a really aggressive phase and would rip my sons socks off his feet. No matter how much yelling we did, it only stopped when she was done with it, not because of anything we did. I remember that it didn't go on for too long because I know I would have given her away if it was more than a few weeks. That sounds awful but it's the truth. When she was a puppy she got on my nerves all the time and was a huge pain. Now she is the sweetest most loving dog ever. Hopefully you get to that point soon!

MarkD60 said...

Maybe the vet gave him the wrong prescription? Crack instead of Valium?

2abes said...

man up...your the one with the balls......maybe he needs his anal glands massaged again???? or maybe his stiches itch...help a fella out

CPalermo21 said...

@Mrs. Hall --

You're not the only one who gave him that advice....

Slyde said...

bruce: its a REEEEAAAAALY long eventually.... :(

holly: but you SO KNOW that this wasnt my call... i was going nutty looking at rescue centers for a doggie.. this was all on Fritz and my son...

alley: already on it. we had a trainer which helped alot, and we're putting him in puppy school soon.

daft: i wouldnt dare dream of ever hurting you or your nuts...

radio: honestly, i think thats exactly it. and he's doing the same thing with my sons socks... i think hes just in pain and aggrovated, and he doesnt know how else to show it.

mark: if so, i'd try it

abes: are you talking about the dog, or you?

chris: and again, it wasnt MY CALL!!!!

i am the diva said...

i've been meaning to say this for some time now... but your pup and my littlest boy have the same name. ;)

Bouncin Barb said...

I learned the hard way too when I had a collie. Got him fixed and he was 85 pounds of pure hyperness! It didn't do a damn thing for him. At 12 years old he would still take running leaps up onto your lap and cause severe pain!! He didn't bite though once he stopped chewing all the wood on the windowsills, deck rails, dining room furniture and fence. All that had to be replaced. But yours is so adorable! haha.

Jarod Ichabod said...

The primary purpose of neutering is to prevent the indiscriminate breeding that results in the deaths of 4 million dogs per year in the US. A reduction in testosterone, which typically involves a reduction in aggression and energy levels, is merely a side effect. Moreover, reduction does mean elimination. If you want to calm your dog down, you need to keep him physically and mentally stimulated. Train him - every day. Walk him - every day (no, sticking him in the yard is NOT the same thing). Play with him - every day.