And not for one of the dozens of reasons that you might probably suspect.
No, I am ashamed to say that I have officially become one of THOSE people.
I have become one of those infuriating people that sometimes let my dog go poo on your lawn and not pick it up.
I know, I know. It makes me mad too. And, I’ve always HATED those people. REALLY hated them.
But that was B.F. (Before Puppy).
Now, before you go all Super Hater on me, let me at least explain.
Every night I take little Ozzy for his nightly walk/run. I try to do about a mile and a half with the little wolf, mostly in hopes that I can tucker him out so I can have a peaceful night of watching American Idol.
And during these walks, he inevitably needs to make a poo-poo.
Now, I WILL say that, at the start of each night’s walk, I have every damn intention of cleaning up after my mad little pooper. I even went out and bought this fancy mechanical scooper, that’s spring loaded and has its own bag dispenser so all I have to do is reach down, pull the handle, and the offending doody is scooped right up into a handy little baggie that I can tie up and toss away.
After about a quarter mile into our nightly runs, we stroll pass this public water pumping station. It’s a one block piece of town land that is mostly just grassland, with a small little building in the middle surrounded by a chain-link fence.
The first time we ran by it, little Ozzy stopped dead in his tracks there, obviously sniffing all the dogs that have come there before him. Without a second’s thought, he squatted down and did a poop there, in the grass by the fence. Being a responsible public citizen, I scooped it up.
The next day, when we got to the station, he again stopped to make a poopsie there. I was running low on baggies, so this little devil popped onto my shoulder and said, “Hey stud! Just leave it there. No one lives here, anyway! Whats the harm?”
So I did.
And then I did it again on the next night.
And the next night after that.
Each day, it’s gotten easier. If little Ozzy can make it to the water pump, I let him unload there in the darkness, and then skulk away into the night. If he DOESN’T make it to the pump and poops on someone’s lawn, THEN I do my civic duty and clean it up.
But damn it all, if I can make it to that fucking water pump and not have to waste a baggie (those things are expensive!), I feel like a winner.
A slightly GUILTY winner, but a winner nonetheless.