Thursday, January 05, 2012

Having Fun At Other People’s Expense

Sometimes, I like to fuck with Friz and play jokes on her. She’s so gullible, that it’s just too damn easy and just too damn tempting not to.

As I mentioned, I took the last 2 weeks off for the holidays, so I had a lot of time to stay home and play video games and watch TONS of Netflix movies.

During one movie watching stint, I decided to watch some classics that I hadn’t watched in ages.

So, one day last week, when Friz came home from work, she found me lying sexily on the couch, and the following conversation took place.

Friz: What are you doing?

Stud: I’ve been watching old movies.

Friz: Cool. Watch anything good?

Stud: Actually yes. I watched a movie earlier that I have never heard of before.

Friz: Really?

Stud: Yeah. It must have been a small independent film, or else it tanked at the box office, because I had never heard of it. But it was REALLY good!

Friz: Oh, maybe I’ll watch it later. What was it?

Stud: I can’t remember the name. It starred Dustin Hoffman.

Friz: OH, I love him! I think I’ve seen all his films, though. You can’t remember the name? You just watched it!

Stud: I know. It had a real weird name though. I can’t remember it.

Friz: Well, what was it about?

Stud: Well, Dustin Hoffman played this kid who just graduated from college, and he doesn’t know what to do with his life, and this older woman ends up seducing him and having an affair with him.

Friz: You mean The Graduate?

Stud: Noooooo, that wasn’t it.

Friz: Of COURSE that was it. What the hell are you talking about?

Stud: No, this movie had Anne Bancroft in it. She played the Milf.

Friz: Yes, THAT is The Graduate! It’s a classic! You can’t tell me that you’ve never seen it.

Stud: No, It wasn’t The Graduate. I KNOW what movie I just saw, and THAT wasn’t it.

Friz: Well, that’s the only movie that I know that they starred in together. What happens in this movie?

Stud: Well, Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft end up having an affair, and then he falls for her daughter, and the whole thing blows up. The movie ended with the daughter deciding to marry someone else, and then Dustin gets to the chapel just in time and bangs on the glass and shit, and he stops the wedding and they end up running away together.

Friz: THAT’S THE GRADUATE!!!!!

Stud: No, I’ve seen The Graduate, and this wasn’t The Graduate.

Friz: OF COURSE IT WAS!

Stud: No it wasn’t. This was different.

Friz: Then what was the name of THIS movie?

Stud: I told you I can’t remember. I think it was called “The Alumni”, or something….

Friz: IT’S THE GRADUATE!!!

Stud: Maybe it was called “A Guy Who Just Got His Diploma”….?

Friz: ……..

Stud: Why is your face red?

Friz: You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?

Stud: Of course I am.

Friz: You’re an asshole….

Stud: Whatever. Hey, tonight do you want to watch this small independent mafia movie I just heard about? It sounds pretty good.

Friz: Sure, what’s it called?

Stud: The Godfather.

Friz: Eat me.

17 comments:

sybil law said...

Well, did you?

;)

Slyde said...

i'd say "yes", but im honestly not sure what the fuck we're talking about...

B.E. Earl said...

So were you just fucking with her about the name of the film, or had you honestly never seen The Graduate before?

Because that's not out of the realm of possibilities for you. I know there are several classics you haven't seen yet.

Slyde said...

i had never seen the entire thing, beginning to end. I've caught the ending at least a half dozen times, but i dont know if i had ever seen the beginning.

what an awesome film, though... i really loved it.

Annabelle said...

way to ruin the ending for the rest of us.

i kid.

thats a pretty decent way to fuck with your wife, i like that.

oddly, i was just forced to sit through Rumor Has It (awful) and it was based around the premise that the Jen Aniston character's family is the family from The Graduate.

so coo-coo-ca-choo to you

Slyde said...

wow, Friz actually watched that this weekend, too. i sat and watched about 10 minutes of it with her, then felt like throwing up...

Chris H said...

You are a shit Dude! It's a wonder Fizz didn't smack you over the head. I would have. LOL

Slyde said...

she DOES....


often.

sybil law said...

Friz said, "Eat me..."... so I wondered if you did.
Never mind!
Geez.

MarkD60 said...

She oughta whoop you like a stepchild!

Slyde said...

sybil: ah, i got ya... i guess im getting slow in my old age.

mark: yup, for this, and many other things...

badgerdaddy said...

I laughed my hairy arse off at "I think it was called the Alumni or something..." Genius.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

bwahahahaahahaahaha!

that was good..

Not So Simply Single said...

You need a hard ass spanking...

you are definitely a fuckhead...

Slyde said...

badger: i KNEW your ass was hairy... im not gonna say HOW i knew...

candy: thanks, missy!

simply: yes, but you smiled when you said it, right?

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Oh my dad was just telling me I should see that movie! But really I already know the music...so why sit through the whole thing?

Poor Friz. :-0

meleah rebeccah said...

Ahahahahhahahah! Best Conversation Ever. Fritz is a trooper to put up with you messing with her all the time!!