In what is sure to be a trend here for the next 4 weeks, I will once again apologize for the lack of posting. I'm sorry to say that it's pretty much going to be like this until life returns to normal after New Years, but I'll try to pop some Pearl's O' Wisdom on ya whenever I can. Likewise for not visiting anyone else's blog in over a week now.... between work happenings and some other stuff, time has been short.
Anyway, speaking of my Pearl's O' Wisdom.....
Have you ever dreamt of something, and then woken up in the middle of the night thinking that what you just dreamt about was the damn FUNNIEST thing in the world? That you just HAD to remember it when you woke up in the morning, because anyone you tell it to will piss their pants with laughter?
Then, when you wake up the next day, you remember what you had dreamt about and think, "What the fuck?"
Seinfeld even did an episode about it once. During the night he thought of the "Ultimate Joke", only to later realize it made no sense.
Well, last night was MY night.
I woke up at 3A.M., with literal tears in my eyes from the joke i just told myself in my dream. I actually woke up still laughing. I honestly considered getting up and writing it down, in the fear that i wouldn't remember it in the morning.
But luckily for you all, I DID remember!
You ready to be wowed?
OK, here we go.......
A friend comes up to me and tells me about this new burger joint that just opened up across town.
He is RAVING to me about how good the burgers are! He Tells me they are to DIE for!
The only drawback, he tells me, is the price.
He tells me the burgers cost $100 each!
So, I turned to the guy and said.........
you ready for it?
I said "The only way that I'd pay $100 for a hamburger was if it came with $99 crumpled between the buns!"
I'll wait here while you all find some Kleenex to wipe away the coffee you just spit onto your monitors from unexpected, uncontrollable laughter.
Thank Goodness that I'm so much wittier when I'm conscious....