Thursday, October 13, 2011

Way to Go, Debbie Downer!

So, I’m watching the latest episode of The New Girl, which I’m not completely sold on yet, but it’s been entertaining enough to keep me coming back for its first few episodes.

The show is light, 30 minutes of fluff that I’ve been using to get me off my puppy woes.

When, suddenly, without warning, a commercial comes on that was SO damn depressing that I almost went into cardiac arrest from the sudden shock.

Honestly, when it was over, I couldn’t even tell what the hell it was a commercial for. That’s probably because I suddenly had a fucking FOUNTAIN of tears in my eyes worse than if you had thrown a Jalapeño pepper in my face.

I had to search the web for about 30 minutes before I finally found it. The site won’t let me embed, but clicky-clicky here if you feel like you need some extra motivation to go kill yourself.

Seriously, what the fuck?

One second, I’m laughing politely in the comfort of my Den, and the next minute I’m thinking back in horror of a lifetime of regret.

You just don’t do that to an unsuspecting person, dammit!

And now that I’ve watched it again, I’m STILL not sure what the hell Values.Com is all about. Truth is, I’m afraid to click on any of their other links in fear that they remind me that when I was 8 I killed my goldfish or that life has no meaning.

Maybe it’s a website devoted to teaching people to feel shitty about themselves? That sounds like a worthy cause. I’m pretty sure no one else has done THAT yet.

Oh, wait a minute, my bad. Someone already HAS got that covered.

Cosmo.

18 comments:

sybil law said...

I am not clicking on that link. I already feel like ass thanks to allergies. Why do you want to make me cry, Slyde?

Heff said...

Wow. If I had a SOUL, I'd probably be pretty verklempt right now.

Slyde said...

sybil: you made the right call.

heff: See, if only i didnt have this damn SOUL draggin' me down!

B.E. Earl said...

Really, really interesting stuff. Values.com (Foundation for a Better Life) SEEMS like a lovely idea. An ad campaign that is solely devoted to making the world a better place. Sometimes that involves sad tales of ultimate redemption or love or whatever. It has a sister foundation named The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. Again, that one SEEMS like a foundation totally dedicated to making the world a better place.

Both organizations were started by billionaire named Philip Anschultz, an openly conservative evangelical Christian. But, like I said, his message for these foundations SEEMS innocuous enough. enough.

BUT, do a quick Google search on this dude and you will find that he has also financially supported a number of organizations like the Institute for American Values or Colorado for Family Values or Enough is Enough or Morality in the Media. Organizations that campaign against same-sex marriage, single parenting, pornography, obscenity in the media, etc.. And the Discover Institute, which promotes Intelligent Design over Evolution.

Which is all fine. He's a billionaire and he has all the right in the world to spend his dollars on what he wishes.

But when I see an ad campaign like this, and then find out about the man behind the scenes, and I see that he has a history of agenda-driven philanthropy...well, it makes me question with the Values.com ads are as innocent as they appear.

Maybe I'm just a little jaded. It would be nice if this foundation had no religious/political agenda.

Not that any of that matters to you for bringing you down like that. Right?

Slyde said...

strangely enough, even though i was too lazy to look into it very much beyond what i did, just the NAME values.com had me thinking it was a conservative family-values kind of site, and it sounds like i was right. blah.

Marlene said...

Not clicking, sorry....too hormonal today. Can't be held responsible for my ingestion of chocolate, either.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

I tried to click, but I got a blank screen saying something about how google thinks this is how the page used to look...or something.

Oh wait! When I come back to it later, there IS a video there! But I can already tell I shouldn't watch it because I don't like to have my emotions manipulated for no reason...or even worse, for a BAD reason as Earl seems to imply above.

Plus, y'know...it opens with a hospital bed and sad, sappy sounding music. There's just already enough suffering in this life without having to watch more on video. I mean...unless it's a really GOOD movie & the suffering ends up serving some kind of purpose or something. Y'know, like sometimes you have to go through some suffering to tell the story so you can get to the happy ending part and...wait...what was I talking about?

Oh yeah...sorry you got subjected. Hope the people & animals in your house cheered you back up.

Bouncin' Barb said...

That just sucks the big one Slyde... How dare they! Taking your mind off of the thing that takes your mind off the puppy woes. How cute is that? You're funny!.

Mrs. Hall said...

yeah, I thought so Earl. seemed like a bait and switch to me. The values.com site seemed very religious but claimed it wasn't.

BUT, just because the pupper master behind it may be flawed, why do we need to invalidate THE WHOLE THING?

I mean, not one of us is perfect, not one of us is without the capability of being a total bonehead.

!!

so, give the site a chance..I dare ya!

Cocaine Princess said...

I've been watching "New Girl" too only because there's nothing else I really like at that time slot and it comes on just before "Raising Hope" a show which I like. Have you seen the NBC comedy "Whitney". Funny stuff.

Now getting to the commercial you posted. All I have to say is: Why in hell did I click on it?

Depressing doesn't even cover it.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

You know I fucking cry at Oprah and Dr Phil. Now you've ruined my fucking mascara, Plonker! that is just so not on!

Who gives a rats arse what values.com does. Its just far too sad to click there.

Don't do that again, Dude!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Ohhh no.Not going there. I cry when I watch Hallmark commercials....no can do.

Slyde said...

marlene: i think i was hormonal when i watched this, too

jill: the people in my house definitely cheer me up. the animals? not so much

barb: thanks! :)

hall: i think im with earl on this one. seems like there are some secret agendas sneakily hiding in there...

princess: i tried the first ep of Whitney and even though i find her very cute and bangable, i just didnt find the show funny. I gave up after ep 1

daft: never again. promise.

candy: yeah, you should stay away, then.... definitely.

Tamara said...

Wow - it actually was a depressing clip. I was convinced when I clicked on it I'd be taken through to some midget porn. In this case, I am somewhat relieved by the depro video.

Slyde said...

tamara: How dare you! Would i do that to you?

Mrs. Hall said...

everyone has an agenda Slyde.

even me.

even you.

we don't do things without intent.

seems to me, despite the inherent and very human flaws within the man who created this, his intent seems to be in the right place.

:)

Lotus07 said...

WTF? This is in Primetime during a sitcom? Yeah, makes me want to watch more television.

Shabbygal said...

Ok I clicked and now I do feel like killing myself! Thanks Slyde!! Hope your happy! Traci