Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Holding It In

Contrary to what most of you might deduce from my divine PHYSICAL appearance, I am not QUITE a perfect person.

Hard to grasp, right?

Anyway, one of my most glaring imperfections is that I have a bit of a temper.

Mind you, most times I’m a complete pushover. I routinely let people walk all over me. I live in fear of having to haggle with anyone on the price of something I’m buying, because I just opt NOT to haggle and pay whatever price they first tell me, when I know full well if I just opened my mouth I could have gotten it cheaper.

The point being: I don’t get angry easily, but if you push me past a certain point, I instantly catapult from ‘Docile’ to ‘Wolverine Berserker’ pretty much instantly.

And there are certain things you can do that will get me to “Rage Level” REALLY fucking quickly. Do not Collect $200. Do not pass “GO”.

The quickest way to piss me off is to fuck around with my son.

And guess what? His new 4th grade teacher is doing exactly that.

Yesterday, the little guy came home from school very upset. For the third or fourth time in the past month, he has asked the teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and his bitch of a teacher has told him “No”. Then a few minutes later, another student asks to go to the bathroom and she lets THEM go.

Yesterday, my son came home and raced to the bathroom, telling me he held it in for most of the day.

I fully realize that I’m only getting an eight year-old’s side of the story. I asked him if he asks to go to the bathroom too often, and he told me that was the first time that day that he asked to go. I asked him if he asked to go during a time when the teacher was trying to teach something important, and he said it was during “coloring time”.

As I said, this has happened a few times this past month where he has been denied going to use the restroom.

And I’m getting FUCKING PISSED………

I guess so far I’ve gotten spoiled where my son’s teachers are concerned. Each of his previous 4 teachers have been absolute ANGELS who really cared about their kids. The fact that each of them have also been hot MILF’s and THIS one is a Sea-Hag has no bearing on my reasoning.

Anyway, tomorrow when I pick my son up from school, Mrs. BattleAxe and I are going to have a little chat, and she had better come up with an ASTOUNDINGLY good fucking reason why my son can’t go take a piss when he needs to.

‘Cause that Rage Meter, she is a-rising………

24 comments:

Annabelle said...

I hear ya babe.

My baby girl is coming home upset because theres an aggressive, smelly, little boy who won't leave her alone. We have asked her teachers to keep an eye on the situation, but they aren't and I'm getting fucking pissed.

Shes been there her whole life and NOW shes crying when I pick her up? WTF? Thats new, take our seriously.

Shit, now I'm pissed again.

MarkD60 said...

It's good you back up your son. When I had a problem with the teachers, it was always everybody against me. My parents would be on the teachers side.

sybil law said...

What's even more ridiculous is that she doesn't have any memory of him asking to go when the other kid asks. She should first say, "Minime, do you still need to use the restroom?", before letting the other kid go. Maybe she's really intimidating, so Minime doesn't ask again? I usually try hard to "side" with the teachers (at least in THEIR mind), and let them know it's probably my kid being silly, but it usually gets things done to the satisfaction of me and Gilda. I have yet to have a real issue with any of Gilda's teachers. Go at her with slight kindness - but let her know you mean fucking business, at the same time. Poor Minime. That's gotta suck.

nixabn said...

Like Miss Piggy, I'd hit that.

Heff said...

Next time she says no, just tell him to whip it out and WAIL right there on the floor.

He'll get to go to the bathroom from then on.

Slyde said...

anna: how about we do one of those "criss-cross" things where i take care of YOUR teacher, and you take care of mine?

Mark: thats too bad. Every parent should back up their kids (when they deserve it)

sybil: oh, i intend to start off nice. But if i dont like her answer, its gonna go downhill fast.

nix: not the old bag in the pic, i hope! Ewwwwwwww

Heff: thats what I do, here at work...

Evil Twin's Wife said...

This same bathroom BS was an issue when my son was in Elementary school. I called the principal and let her know that I would not stand for it. You DO NOT tell a child they cannot relieve themselves.

I would tell her, "If Mini-Me ends up with a bladder infection or kidney problems or anything else related to elimination, I'm sending you the hospital bill." (Beyotch - but only think that part in your head).

B.E. Earl said...

You have a temper?

I've never, ever, ever seen it.

2abes said...

Doesn't sound right, if a kid needs to use the rest room, he should be able to go. Or have him bet a kid in the class $100 bucks that he can piss in the crayon jar in the back of the room from where he sits.

Nat said...

The Battle Axe shall bear the wrath of Slyde! We await the outcome of your little chat....

nixabn said...

Yeah, I meant the old GILF!

Shabbygal said...

Good for you! I'am usually a pretty esaygoing gal but mess with my kids and maam bitch comes out! My kids were always astonished when they would see that side of me! Now 20 and 21 they still talk about how I defended them growing up when needed! Traci

Marlene said...

Let her have it. A teacher did that to my kid years ago, and she actually was found to have a kidney problem that required surgery. Grrrr.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Awww man! I typed a huge response with all things relevant and interesting and stuff to do with pottying and school and blogger ATE it. :-( :-(

I even had a nice note for Mark in there.

Anyway...once I worked at a school where we were only allowed to let the kids go to the bathroom once in the morning and once in the afternoon & once at recess. If you let kids out more than that, the principal brought them back & griped you out. So I had a little boy who used to yell all morning (AFTER his potty visit) "I have to POOP!!!!!!!!!"

Marlene - one time I had a boy with a kidney problem and he had to go to the bathroom all the time. But the problem was, he had been previously kidnapped by his father, so I couldn't let him go to the restroom alone. So every time he said he had to go, which was ALL the time, I had to take the entire class. It was so awful, because we were under all these constant time constraints and we were always trying to cram three days of work into each day.

Anyway, that had nothing to do with anything, but my other response really DID!!!!!!!!! Good luck with the teacher. I hope the chat goes well.

Kristina said...

Wow - I'd be pissed too. I can see you having a temper, lol but I am like you and I have to be pushed to a certain point then it's game over. I would be getting to that point of frustration too. I remember having teachers when I was in school that were just as freakin' ridiculous. I remember that being more in high school when people wanted an excuse to get out of class but an 8 year old? seriously.

Then again....my first grade teacher was a whacko...girls weren't allowed to wear skirts unless there were shorts underneath. K-State Fans got to watch Basketball games in class but KU fans had to study. She didn't like boys. And there were days when my mom called to have me leave early and she wouldn't allow it. I had a 4th grade teacher that didn't allow the word "Darn it," because that meant damn it really. I did get lucky in the forth grade though by getting that teacher...the other teacher smacked kids with rulers, and threw computers across the room.
Some teachers shouldn't be teachers.

Good luck with the teachers.

Punk Chopsticks said...

Oh boy do I know about crappy teachers.

I remember when I was in grade school and had just moved to Malaysia, I was constantly correcting my teacher's english (she came up with stuff like "Today we can talking about a, b and c")

And she kept insisting she was right so to make a long story short, I ended up getting sent to the principal's office

Susan Higgins said...

In my opinion, that is abusive behavior!!!! Tell the Principal.

I had a nun in 4th grade that never let me go to the bathroom. I peed my pants more than once, in school, running home after school and standing at the bathroom door at home. It sucked to get home and have a sibling in the only bathroom.

Give her hell!!!!

radioactive girl said...

My friend once laughed because I am the most easygoing person ever, let almost everything just bouce right off of me and don't let it make me mad, but if you mess with my kids a totally different person filled with rage and violence comes out. The bathroom thing is something we have dealt with too. Most recently my issue is that they get like 10 minutes to eat lunch and then have to clean up and sit there until recess. I get that a lunchroom full of kids might not be super fun but seriously? I think unless the people in charge are willing to hold it all day until they get home, not get a drink all day, and eat lunch in about 10 minutes (5 if you are buying lunch and have to wait in line) then maybe they should rethink the things they say/do to kids. Kids deserve respect too even though lots of people don't seem to think so.

A few days ago a sub told my daughter's class that they were "mentally retarded" and "must all have ADHD". Horrible, and I definitely followed up on that and got her banned/fired. I can tolerate almost anything but mess with my kids and I will kill you. I totally get this. It's like a feeling I had no idea even existed until the first time someone did something to one of my kids and upset me. Good luck!

Slyde said...

evil: im with ya there. If she doesnt give me satisfaction today, then the principle is next. The superintendant after that.

earl: sarcasm doesnt come across well on the internets...

abes: i'd take that bet...

nat: as do i....

nix: yeah, i know... i was just being a dick

Slyde said...

shabby: see? its not just me :)

marlene: thats what im worried about too. i dont want the poor kid to get sick over this..

jill: wow, thats nuts. Our school makes each kid go to the bathroom with 1 buddy. Bringing the entire class is crazy!

Kristina: yeah, times were different back then. My 2nd grade teacher ALSO hated boys, and would hit us with her ruler. That shit wouldnt fly anymore...

punk: now THATS horrible. She should have been overjoyed to have someone who actually spoke the language in her class to help her out. People are too vain....

Sue: yeah, if i dont like what i hear today, the principal is next to hear about this...

radio: well, thats just insane. good for you for getting that person fired. They dont understand what it means to be a teacher....

meleah rebeccah said...

My temper is OFF the charts. I blame it on being an overly passionate Italian.

And if anyone messed with my kid? There would be HELL to pay. That's for sure.

You have EVERY right to be furious. Good luck at the conference with that BattleAxe bitch.

Chris H said...

YOU GO FOR IT DUDE! And you better come back here and tell us all about what happened!
I too would get freakin mad as hell if it was my kid.
When ya gotta go, ya gotta go... maybe your son needs to piss all over her classroom floor to teach her a lesson! LIKE... oh dear, I simply could not hold on ANY MORE...lol

Chris H said...

OH and did you know that it's not good for you to 'hold on' for too long?

Slyde said...

meleah: see, i blame it on being Italian, too. I think when we finally get married we are going to kill each other.

chrish: yeah, holding it in is NOT good for the little guy