Thursday, September 22, 2011

It’s A Dog’s Life

I think I’m getting a dog.

The thing is, I really don’t WANT a dog.

I mean, I LOVE dogs. Love em. I generally love ALL animals.

It’s just that the IDEA of having to take care of a dog right now…. running to the pet store, the vet, cleaning up poop, the whole deal…… well, it kinda fills me with dread.

So WHY, you may ask, will I most likely be getting a dog ANYWAY, in spite of my misgivings?

Here’s my reason…..

For the past year now, Mini-Me has been DIEING for a dog. Literally every day, he asks me if I have changed my mind yet, and his little face is all crestfallen every time when I tell him “No” yet again.

He has sworn to me that he will take care of the dog all by himself. Now, I’m no sucker. I know that kids throughout the ages have made this same claim to parents over and over again, only to quickly lose interest in the poor animal, leaving the parents to inevitably take care of the darn pooch. But I really DO think he’ll make good on his claim. Last year for his birthday we got him gerbils (mostly because we didn’t want to get him a dog) and he promised me he would take care of them all by himself, and bless his little heart, not a day has gone by in the past year when he didn’t wake up for school, all bleary eyed and tired, yet the first thing he does every morning is feed and take care of those damn gerbils. He’s really impressed me with his dedication.

And he’s such a good boy, with such a big heart. It makes me happy when we visit other people who have a dog and see him barely able to contain himself while he runs around the backyard playing with the animal. And it stabs me right in the heart when he cries in the back seat of my car when we drive home and he has to say goodbye to the pup.

I’ve held out this long, but I am only human. I give. I give.

The question now is what to get him, and where to get it.

I could give a fig if I get a pedigree or a mutt. All I want is a nice friendly puppy that he can handle, and won’t kill my cat or rip my house to shreds.

In the end, I’ll probably get a dog from a shelter, because damn it all but that seems like the best thing to do. The problem I’m learning THERE is that getting a PUPPY from a shelter is not easy.

Option # 2 is to go to a breeder, but I have this aversion to spending $2,000 on a pet that I could otherwise spend on coke and hookers.

If you know where to look, $2,000 can buy you a LOT of hookers.

Option # 3 is to go to a pet store, which is not really an option at all. I’m all down with the “not supporting puppy mills” thing. I also don’t support Nazi’s. I think they had their chance and now they should just shut up and let some OTHER group try to take over the world. Fair’s fair.

What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, puppies. Well, if anyone around these parts knows where I can get a good puppy to give it a good home, give me a yell.

And if anyone has some sick fetish and is REALLY into cleaning up puppy poop, well then this could be the beginnings of a BEAUTIFUL friendship!


Verdant Earl said...

What was Option #3? Seems you went from 2 to 4 there.

Anyway, I would go with Option #1. What's the difficulty with getting a dog from a shelter? Little Shelter in Huntington is great. You fill out an application (they want to make sure you have a backyard, someone will be home, etc...), give them like a $20 donation, spend a little time with the animal before taking it home. And that's it. AND they take care of all the shots and you can get the dog spayed/neutered for free from them.

That's the way to go. And they have animals that need homes. Win/win.

2abes said...

He'll be the happiest boy in town. Dogs are great....try to get one that shits small! or train the pup to sneak into the neighbors yard at night and do his business.

Slyde said...

earl: what can i say.. counting is hard. I'm gonna hit up little shelter soon.

abes: do they make ones that dont shit at all?

Unknown said...

Dont do it!

Just kidding. I saw, you can't say no to that punam.

We are going on week 2 with a young puppy and it's making me crazy.

My vote is a young (1 yearish) shelter dog.

Easier training and upkeep, less resentment on your part. Mini Me gets the boy and his dog experience, you get to skip the I'm going to kill this creature moments.

Good luck!

Susan Higgins said...

All dogs are good dogs. Depends on your lifestyle with what type of dog would be good for Mini-me. I know that Labs need water and lots of running to be happy. They've got lots of energy... if you don't give them a way to release the energy they'll do weird stuff.

Little dogs... they can have big personalities.

Like Caesar says, "Calm assertive energy" and "No touch, no talk, no eye contact."

So... not sure if my 2 cents helps.

A shelter is a great place to get a dog.

sybil law said...

What Earl said.
Oh, and Labs shed a LOT. I personally can't stand it. Great dogs, but they shed too much for me.
I'd try to find a mutt.
Whatever it is, though - he's gonna love it! You're a good dad.

And I'm a shitty mom, because I'm still saying NO. :)

Slyde said...

anna: yeah, my head is saying get an older dog, but my heart is still saying 'puppy'!

sue: yeah, we've thought about a lab but we really dont want a dog that big. A lab/mix of some kind is a definite possibility

sybil: yeah, the shedding is ANOTHER reason why a lab is not really on our radar...

Bruce Johnson said...

Yeah, you need to do the dog thing. It is part of childhood and teaches the little tyke a lot of important life lessons. Besides, people with schizophrenia and mental disorders are usually given animals to care for, it teaches empathy and responsibility. If not for mini-me, for you....just sayin.

Go for the pound puppy/dog. They are overflowing these days with people walking away from their houses and abandoning their pets. If you get an older dog that is house trained, you will save yourself a lot of grief. Dogs aren't dumb. They know when they have been abandoned, and they are damn grateful for a second chance.

We adopted a stray puppy dumped in our neighbourhood about 2 years ago, that was a TERROR to raise. But in the end, he has turned out to be a WONDERFUL dog. The little dude has probably kept me from going insane for the past year. Search for "Max" on my blog for more details.

Anonymous said...

Yeah - I don't think there's that much trouble to getting a dog from a shelter. We got ours from Smithtown Animal Shelter.

I think Anna Maria looked on, first.

I don't know about getting an "older" dog per se. Charlotte was 8 mos. old when we got her -- still a "puppy" technically; still had energy, etc. But, she WAS housebroken and mostly trained. That was a tremendous godsend.

And, don't set expectations. We wanted a smallish dog that didn't shed. We ended up with a 120 pound hair factory. And we wouldn't trader her for anything.

Come At Me Bro said...

This is great!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Yay! Yes, check out You can search in your area and also within X miles, if you're interested. I drove a 6 hour round trip to adopt our kitten from a shelter in a different state (I really wanted a Calico). She was worth the drive! :-)

BB said...

What about a young dog that's already housebroken and good with kids? I'm sure the shelter has something like that too. Just a thought. All kids need a pet in their lives I think. You're a good Dad!

MarkD60 said...

If he's taking care of the gerbils, you can bet he'll take care of the dog. I'd go for a humane society dog.
Take yer Mini Me, the dawg will pick him.

Dogs are great! A machine that eats at one end, and poops out the other, and runs for about 15 years...

We have two house dogs and 6 feral cats that we can't pet. We just feed them.

Anonymous said...

What a cute little angel! You're son that is. You too for agreeing to get a dog. Whenever I asked as a kid I was told "Dogs poo all over the place. Do you want to wake up and step in poo? Do you, Elise? No. You don't"

I have no advice to give you on where to get a dog. I only know that if you do go to a shelter you may come home with an old ugly dog with a broken leg because you felt sorry for it instead of a puppy.

Radioactive Tori said...

My little man had asked for a dog almost every day since he learned how to talk. Finally I gave in and we got a tiny dog who we now love more than anything. My youngest even counted her as his little sister on a getting to know you kind of thing. It is a lot of work, you are right, but I think seeing your son as happy as he is going to be will be totally worth it.

If you get a puppy, remember that it gets better. That is something I kept having to remind myself when it seemed like she would never settle down and just be more calm. She's 2 now and aside from being kind of a spaz when people come near our house she is very snuggly and sweet.

Tamara said...

All my animals have been shelter pets and they've been fantastic. Just make sure you find a good petsitter. That's the one thing about having pets - it's harder to go on holiday!

Please make sure you take a pic of your kid's face when he gets his dog. That way, if you do step in poop, you can look at it and remember why it's all worth it :-)

Slyde said...

bruce: i remember seeing your dog... he's a beauty.

chris: i keep looking on petfinder, but i havent found anything i like yet. probably going to littleshelter today

bro: thx!

evil: another vote for petfinder. i'm on it.

barb: yeah, i know that a young dog makes sense.. i just kinda like the idea of having my son get a puppy tho.

mark: hopefully the new dog will get along with my cat

elise: thats exactly why im going first, alone, to pick one out.

radio: i know, i know.. thats what everyone says.. it gets better.

tam: yeah, im almost certainly getting a shelter pet.

meleah rebeccah said...

awwwww... mini-me is going to LOVE having a puppy! Good luck on your quest to find the right one for your family.

Marlene said...

He's stinkin' CUTE as all get-out. And you are such a wonderful dad for letting him have a dog. He really has proven himself if he's taken care of his gerbil every day!

I agree with the vast majority here. If you can, get a shelter dog. So many are dumped there....and that includes puppies, because often, the pregnant females are dumped and have to have their pups, ya know.

I'd say visit your local shelter(s) and take your son with you. The dog will choose him....and I'm betting he will instantly fall in love with whatever comes to him and attempts to kiss his face!

Chris H said...

I have two puppy's left!

Something tells me that you won't go for THAT option though! lol

Good luck finding the perfect pet for your family.

Jill said...

No advice on finding one unless you lived closer to Texas. We're probably in the same boat of getting a dog soon, because the next door neighbor keeps emailing us every time he hears about a dog that needs a home.

blondie1 said...

Its probably cheaper to have one SENT from NZ (Chris H) has some adorable puppies!!!! just quarrantine for awhile and bingo one puppy!!! I have a request MY SON is a T Shirt Freak as my blog says, I am after some Scooby doo Iron on transfers just scooby doo in a silly pose or thoughtful pose can you scout around and see if any are available " He absolutely loves the episode when Scooby Doo hands on doggy hips says "THE NAMES Rooby Roo") and I would like to get a T shirt made up for him with that for xmas if able too Or just because I can, could you help me in any way?

Ka Pai (Thanks pronounced "Car Pie")

Blondie from Aotearoa (New Zealand)

Cocaine Princess said...

What can I say- other than what a generous and kind heart you have. Has Mini-Me picked out any names yet?

P.S. The pic of the young boy you have posted- is that your little guy?

Anonymous said...

Slyde 9/23/11 - 9am "I'm almost certainly getting a shelter dog"

Slyde 9/23/11 - 7pm -- not so much :(

Kimberly said...

It may come as a surprise to you but my first child was a chocolate worries, I didn't crap that one out of my hoo ha...we bought it at a resonable price of 500 bucks at a farm.
He destroyed our house and today, with all the rain, there are logs of poop floating in my backyard.
Anyways, despite all of that, he is a wonderful dog with my son. My son pretends to ride him like a dwarf pony and he never retaliates.
They're a good dog. They're pricey but i think it's worth it. Not worth it would be like paying thousands of dollars on STD medications from all the hookers you slept with. No one wants a drippy dong.