Tuesday, September 27, 2011

It’s A Dog’s Life, Part Deux

P.T. Barnum famously said that “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

Well, I guess I win the prize as the sucker born during MY minute.

Didn’t I JUST tell ya’ll last week that I wanted to rescue a puppy from a shelter? Didn’t I JUST say that?

I really intended to go through with my plan, too. Every day at lunch, I was hitting yet ANOTHER shelter, looking for a dog that I hoped would be a good fit for my family.

Didn’t I JUST say last week that the LAST fucking thing I wanted to do was to get a puppy from a pet store?

Well, apparently Friz had other ideas. She called me while I was at work on Friday, telling me that she was going to a very reputable and recommended pet store “just to look”. Then, she told me she was taking Mini-Me with her.

I knew then that I was done for.

No WAY was she taking my son to a puppy store and NOT coming home with one. No way.

And, I was right.

Meet Ozzy:

Ozzy is a 2 month old Shiba Inu puppy that is, without a doubt, the cutest damn animal that has ever walked the Earth. I came home from work Friday, to find the little guy already having the run of the house, and Mini-Me on Cloud 9 with glee.

How could I say no to that?

So, now I have a puppy that cost me slightly more than my first used car.

Anyway, as I already mentioned, my son has dubbed him Ozzy. I’m not sure why.

But now a new controversy has begun. Should we spell his name “Ozzie”, conjuring up wholesome, family thoughts of Ozzie and Harriet……..

Or, should we spell his name “Ozzy”, conjuring up thoughts of devil-worshipers and biting the heads off small animals?
My vote is for the devil worship.

Anyway, it’s only been 2 days so far, but I’ve already cleaned up more pee and poop than I ever did with Mini-Me. The pup is a sweetheart but he is constantly torturing our poor cat by assuming he is another stuffed animal and chasing his ass all over the house. Hopefully, we’ll be able to curb said behavior right fucking quick.

Because right now having dogs and cats sailing past me at breakneck speeds for hours on end is seriously putting a cramp in my nighttime routine of trying to get drunk on Peppermint Schnapps and falling asleep in front of the computer watching Midget porn.

Hey, you’ve got YOUR tricks to relax, and I’ve got mine….


meleah rebeccah said...


cutest. puppy. ever.

Slyde said...

isnt he tho? he's KILLING me with his cuteness!

sybil law said...

Ozzy (devil worship!) is soooooo cuuuuute!!! He's worth every penny!!
Also, the cat will get real sick of that shit, too, and finally smack the crap out of Ozzy. Don't be surprised if there's blood. That's okay. You'll also learn how smart your dog is by what happens next.
I love him.

Slyde said...

thats what im worried about.. i dont want the pup to get hurt. For what its worth, the cat has been a champ. He hasnt done so much as even try to swipe him once, but i had his nails clipped short just in case.

Unknown said...

Pretty damn cute.

We can commiserate on our lives in puppy hell. Daisey is still all kinds of precious but wearing me out regardless.

Slyde said...

me too. By the end of the night, i go to bed completely stressed and wound up. I feel like ive been juggling dishes all night waiting for them to crash..

Verdant Earl said...

He isn't named after Ozzie from Survivor? Hmmm...

Awesomely cute dog. Well done!

Obedience classes and training are a must with Shiba Inus though. They can get food agressive and they get bored easily which leads to all kinds of craziness. Because they are such a smart breed.

Good luck, dude! You realize you just lost your "head of the household" title, right? Because Ozzie/Ozzy is gonna rule the roost. Not that you ruled the roost before. I guess you were third on the board already. Welcome to 4th place. ;)

BB said...

Ok, they ganged up on you and got the pup before you could say boo so it's got to be Ozzy! How friggen cute is that dog? OMG, no wonder your son loves it. And on a side note: Peppermint Schnapps chased with Fosters Beer! Heaven! Thanks for my comment too!

Slyde said...

earl: how do you know so much about Shibas? do you know someone who has one?

The first time i ever HEARD of this breed was last monday....

Slyde said...

barb: fosters beer, huh? ok, im game....

Anonymous said...

Kennel training (or crate training) is the way to go with a new puppy. We did it with Murphy, our Irish Wolfhound, and it worked amazingly. The theory is that a dog won't piss and shit where it sleeps and eats. Ozzy is a cute little fucker. Good luck with him and have fun!!

2abes said...

Beautiful puppy. mini me has to be on cloud 12! Good luck, I hope he trains quickly, maybe you won;t have to cancel your subscription to midget porn.

Verdant Earl said...

Slyde - I never heard of them until you mentioned them last week, but I did some research on the breed. And Gia knew some folks who had them, and she used to dog-sit for one. Great animals, a little stubborn. She says their natural tendency is to be a hunter. They will climb and leap fences to catch a squirrel. In her experience they are very, very active animals.

Chris H said...

No matter where he came from, or how much he cost, he is GORGEOUS! I am so happy for Mini Me! As for you.. I commiserate about the puppy pee and poop! I have 6 little buggers doing that in my house!

Slyde said...

sugar: thanks for the link... im gonna check that out now. Byt yeah, he has yet to go while in his crate, even though he's in there for like 8-9 hours at night.

abes: not my midget porn!

earl: i forgot i mentioned them to you. Yeah, my neice took Ang back to the store where she got hers. They arent from the same parents, but they used to play together in the store..

chrish: i CANNOT imagine doing this times 6! no way.

Nat said...

So cute! Hope to see much more of Ozzee ;-)

Unknown said...

Holy Cute Batman! He is absolutely adorable! You just wait Ozzy and the cat will be best friends before you know it.

Marlene said...

He is pretty stinkin' CUTE. The cat will soon figure out that it's the chase that gets the dog going...and if the cat just stops, arches it's back and hisses, the dog will likely think that's not much fun and back off, or bark his fool head off - but in either case, he'll likely quit chasing the feline....lol.

I agree with crate training. Here's the trick. Supervised play....take the pup out at least every 2 hours in the beginning. Praise him when he does his business outside. Don't scold him when he does it inside. (He has no idea why he's being scolded - and rubbing his nose in it is plain cruel and also doesn't work, except to teach him to be afraid of you.) When you CAN'T supervise him, crate him. He should be taken outside after naps, after play, and after eating. Every two hours, like I said...in the beginning (during the day). Soon he'll be able to go longer, and the less he messes inside, the more he'll "get it" that it's not where he's supposed to go. In the meantime, go to the pet store and pick up a bottle of Nature's Miracle. Scrub where ever he's been with that stuff. It has enzymes that break down waste, so the dog can't "smell" where he's been before - because it is in a dog's nature to think it's okay to go where he's gone before. Get it? Hope that helps!

Cocaine Princess said...

Sooo cute and I love the name!

P.S. he's KILLING me with his cuteness!

-That's how they get you to take them home! Every time I pass a pet store I get tempted to take a puppy home. They look so cute and adorable wagging their tales while staring at you through the window. It's gotten to the point where I now have to remind myself, "Look away, look away."

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Ahhhhhhhhh.... Puppies. That one is the stinkin cutest one EVER!!!

You are so done. That dog will rule your life, but what the helll, you're married and have a kid already so it's pretty much over for you anyway.

All kidding aside, they don't call dogs mans best friend for nothing. You will never receive more gratifying unconditional love in your life nor give a creature more love.
Congrats on the new addition to your family.

I vote for Ozzie.

The Accidental Somebody said...

Holy shit that's the cutest fucking dog I've ever seen! While I agree that Ozzy is a way cooler spelling, you're talking about a dog here. Do you really want it having that reputation...that of a little hellion??

He'll be nothing but trouble!

Seriously though, he is so cute I want to smell his little puppy paws! I bet your little guy will be in heaven forEVER.


Radioactive Tori said...

I just wrote a really long comment that disappeared about how cute he is and how it will all be worth it when he gets older and is easier. I remember when ours was a puppy and I used to sometimes go to bed crying because she had stressed me out so bad. It's a good thing puppies are so cute or else no one would go through the beginning part!

MarkD60 said...

Very cute poopie, I mean, puppy.

I am partial to the name Nails.

Slyde said...

nat: thanks!

Kristina: well, it better happen fast. Rifht now hes got the cat scared to death...

marlene: the problem with the cat is that he's just too good. he has yet to so much as swipe his paw or hiss at the dog, he just runs. He really is the best cat ever, and right now i feel bad for him.

As far as the crating, thats the only thing thats going great. He stays in his crate for 9 hours at night and he doesnt cry and he has never messed in there. Its just when hes OUT of the crate that hes driving me crazy!

We have that spray, too. So far, it hasnt helped. He pees, i clean it up and spray the stuff, then 1 hour later he pees in the same spot again. :(

cocaine: thats exactly why i NEVER go to a pet store...

candy: thanks. It really IS comments like that that make me think i can get thru this. At the end of the day, im so frazzled that i begin to think that i dont know if i can keep him.

Accidental: oh, his whole coat smells SO nice.. its a little puppy smell!

radio: thank you so much for that comment. Last night i honestly felt like crying myself. Its nice to know that other people went thru this and it passes.

mark: i'm with ya. Nailz would have been the shit!

GEM said...

Hi Slyde

I caught you on Annabelle's comments a few times and thought I'd stop by and see what you were all about. OZZY (note the choice of devil worshipper having seen Black Sabbath live in concert)is adorable and i'm sure will have you wrapped around his little finger no doubt. I'm gonna hang around here a while and catch up on some of your past posts and future ones too.

Take Care


Susan Higgins said...

God help you all...have you read Wikipedia and what it says about the temperament of this dog? It likes to chase prey! Your poor cat.

Your dog definitely needs to be trained ... even though training is not in it's plan. It's a wicked smart dog with a will of its own.

Seriously... I will pray for you and your cat.


DWei said...

He certainly is adorable but my family would have his head if he wasn't toilet trained.

Lifeofkaylen said...

omg, how stinking cute!!!!! Now you finally have something to blog about!! :)

Tamara said...

What a cute pooch! Hope we get many more pics.

Your "Neighbor" said...

Oh no, someone informed your neighbor that slydesblog.com is really you and he's pissed!

Hey, so you got a new puppy? How much did it cost you? So, you paid *SO* much that it cost more than your first car and probably needed a home equity loan? Oh, you worked out a payment plan with the puppy mill? LOL! You should have went to the pound and got a free puppy. Ya know, the ones that they're gonna grind up that night if someone doesn't adopt them. Shame on you for not doing the right thing! So you gonna punch me in the nuts, eh? I'd like to see you try tough guy! LOL! Anytime. My kids in school with your kids could probably take you on Mister! See ya around the yard! BTW, that fancy white fence ya took the HELOC out on can't keep me out. Good try though.

P.S. I'll party as much as I want over here, you're just jealous!

But seriously, that's one nice puppy. I hope your son takes care of him like he promised because he's one lucky kid to have such a great Dad! If we were all only so fortunate…