Thursday, August 11, 2011

Slyde’s Pet Peeve #9 – Rude Kids

This one has been simmering inside me for awhile now….

Actually, that might just be last night’s trip to Taco Bell. Excuse me while I take care of some ‘private’ business……

…. Aaaaaaand I’m back! I feel much better, thanks. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Kids.

Let me start by saying that I love kids. I mean I LOVE ‘em. And no, you pervs, I don’t mean that I love ‘em in a NAMBLA kind of way. THAT’S just sick and THOSE people should be tied to an airplane propeller.

No, I mean that I love being around kids. Most times, I’d rather spend time with kids and animals than adults. Now, that EITHER means that I am a caring, sensitive human being, or that I’m Lenny from Of Mice and Men…

You decide.

Anyhoo, the point I am trying to make is that I love being around kids, but Son Of A Bitch when I see a child with no manners it drives me up the wall.

I have taught my son to always say “Please” and “Thank You”. I have likewise taught him to say “Hello, Mr. So-and-So” when we enter someone’s home. My son is far from perfect, but the little man is as polite as I can reasonably make him, and he speaks to an adult when spoken to.

But if one more child walks into my home and just walks past me without saying Word One, I think I am going to grab the little bastard by the scruff of the neck and plunge his face into the toilet, screaming “Bet Ya Wish You Had Said ‘Hello’ NOW, Don’t ya, ya little fuckface?”

A little overboard? Maybe.

But it really pushes my buttons. My son often has friends over and when I ask them a question, they just look at me blankly and walk away. Friz will try to defend the little monsters by saying “They’re just shy”, but I call Bullshit on that one. I don’t care how shy you are, if someone asks you a direct question, you answer it. Hell, I’d rather have the kid tell me to go “Fuck off” than to just walk past me where the “Fuck off” is just IMPLIED.

What really amazes me is that I know all these kid’s parents. They are all GOOD people. I always figured rude kids would come from rude parents, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Apparently, rude children seem to just stem from parents who are too lazy to give a shit enough to discipline their kids. If MY son did half the things I see these other kids doing when I was at someone else’s home, I would be mortified. But it never seems to faze these parents at all.

Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off my chiseled chest, I feel a lot better.

Hmmmm, reading this back, maybe I don’t really like kids after all?


sybil law said...

Some days I love kids, some days I can't stand them. They're always at my house, though. Okay, MOST days I really love kids, but yep - some of them are incredibly rude and annoying. Just like a lot of adults.

Slyde said...

you can say Earls name if you really want to... Believe me, i understand.

Bruce Johnson said...

This brings to mind all sorts of 'shits and giggles', regarding how you must be perceived in your 'hood'.

I can only imagine all the kids on the playground asking little Slyde why his dad is so strange.

William - "Yo, Mini-Slyde, why did your dad shove Jerome's head in a toilet while screaming like Jack Nickelson in "The Shining".

Mini-Slyde - "He didn't say hell when he walked in our house."

William - "Dude, your Paw is F'ed up! You should call Child Protective Services or sumpthin!"

Remember, most kids are taught not to talk to strangers. They obviously must think you strange, even though you live next door.

But seriously, I have a step grandson that I am sure is destined for San Quentin, I have serious doubts about that boys behaviours and his inability to follow directions.

2abes said...

You hit the nail on the head.."Apparently, rude children seem to just stem from parents who are too lazy to give a shit enough to discipline their kids." They just don't want to be bothered. Its the same with the screaming brat at toys r us.

Slyde said...

bruce: for the record, im not grabbing kids off the street to clobber them... these are kids who are IN MY HOUSE! Show some manners, ya brats!

abes: the person screaming at TRU is usually ME...

BB said...

You are right about this one Slyde. I always taught my son manners. He may be almost 30 and hates me now but he's got good manners dammit. People used to always compliment me on my sons manners. Holding a door or saying thank you when someone else held a door. Please and thank you. It definitely stems from the parents! Great post.

Verdant Earl said...

Cats are better than kids. Period.

Oh, and here is what Darling Veruca looks like nowadays:

Unknown said...

i too, love those little bastards, more often than not...but yeah, rudeness is the button pusher.

i feel like an old school kind of parent because i have worked so hard to instill those basic manners in my children. but oh how i love hearing people rave on them and tell me how fabulous they behaved even when i wasn't around.

Marlene said...

Yeah, go Slyde!! Teach those brats some manners! Wish you could have been at dinner with us last night.

I had a young mother sitting in the booth behind me with four kids. ONE of them was reasonably well behaved. The other three were jumping around in the booth, kicking it, throwing shit, making all kinds of noise and generally behaving in a most obnoxious way. Mama simply ignored it!

When I finished my meal (yeah, I was amazed I held it together long enough, believe me)....I got up and gave her the dirtiest look. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I guess I was still afraid of making a bad impression on the brats. Go figure. (As if they've had a good role model in their life thus far...NOT.)

Chris H said...

I like my kids, I like my Grandkids, but really I am OVER kids. I don't like having visiting kids over here at all. Most of them are like you say... RUDE, IGNORANT LITTLE BASTARDS who only come over to eat me out of house and home and play on my kids PSP's, swim in the spa and annoy the hell out of me.
Phey that was nice to get off my chest.

Nat said...

Well said, Slyde! Nothing worse than rude brats... but it is largely down to the parents' attitude, so maybe best if you are going to ram anyone's face down the toilet, you do it to the lazy ass parents!

Cocaine Princess said...

I'm not a parent but I do agree with the fact that if someone's child is rude it is because of lack of parenting skills. The blames lies with them.

Pat on the back for you and Fritz in taking the time to teach Mini~Me manners.

The Accidental Somebody said...

I totally agree! If there is anything that pisses me off about other kids is when they are hit the nail on the head. I know people who are proud of their kids because they're brilliant, or because they excel in sports - I'm proud of my kids when they show their good character.

And it's completely the parents' faults - lazy lazy lazy. Good on you Slyde, sounds like you have a fine young man on your hands!

badgerdaddy said...

I don't like kids, generally. Not until they're at least in their teens, and even then I mostly don't. One of my stepdaughter's friends came over, this kid is 15 and taller than me - not difficult, I admit. So me and he are in the living room, and I start a conversation. Nothing. Absolute blank.

Turns out, he told me stepdaughter later, he didn't realise I was talking to him. Even though we were the only two people in the room. So now I refer to him as That Fucking Retard Jake.

MarkD60 said...

Sometimes kids are scared of their friends parents. Sometimes they may automatically think that you don't like them. I would say hello first, then if they don't respond, there may be a problem. I can think of things far worse than not saying hello.
But yeah, kids need to be taught manners.

Malka said...

There's a reason restaurants and other establishments are starting to restrict access in favor of older patrons: it's because people are raising little assholes! Permissive and absentee parents make me sick.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you. I've encountered some Omen 2 type monsters... the type that scream at the top of their lungs because they want something they can't have. It's bad enough when you encounter a rude kid, but rude and spoilt is the worst combination.

Like the little git that sat behind me on a 24 hour flight from australia to england. I was so close to clubbing him over the head with a sony walkman (old school tape version)

Jill said...

Many boys seem to go through a stage around ages maybe 8-11 (& I forget how old mini-me is - then again, I've had wives tell me their husbands are *still* in this stage) where the adults that surround them are more or less like the disembodied Charlie Brown teacher's voice. They seem to live on their own little planet or in their own little bubble and it might take something drastic such as a head in the toilet for the outside world to really intrude. That said, if their parents are friends of yours, I don't see any reason not to teach them some manners while they're at your house. "Just the rules here guys - you must exchange a pleasantry with me before you do xyz." Or whatever. Not any different than expecting them to wipe their feet when they come in from the rain or eat whatever food you give them with a fork rather than their fingers, right?

Jill said...

I said "if the parents are friends of yours". But it shouldn't really matter if the parents are your friends or not. Just that it's your house, your standards of courtesy. It used to bother me to correct the behavior of the neighbor's children or my children's friends. But then I became a teacher and got used to bossing kids around all day. The thing is, the more you set the rules for behavior in your own home, the more comfortable you will be when he has friends over. The more comfortable you are when his friends are there, the more often he gets to have friends over. And since the kids are learning manners in the process, everybody really wins that way.

I'm saying all this as if you're not correcting their poor behavior as it happens. If the toilet thing is working fine, just ignore me. :-) :-) :-)