Thursday, July 28, 2011

I'll take "You're stuff for $1000 Alex".

No one is EVER going to confuse me with someone who knows what the Hell he's talking about when it comes to the news of the world, but I DO at least try to peruse the internet at least once a day and read the top stories.

And, while I don’t consider the story below in ANY WAY to be major news, I found it interesting to give it a quick read.

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — "Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek says he snapped his Achilles tendon last night while running after a burglar who had stolen cash, a bracelet and other items from his San Francisco hotel room.

Here’s a snapshot of the lovely lady who committed the dastardly deed….


My favorite thing about reading my news over the internet, is reading other people’s comments that they have posted at the bottom of the story. There is honestly no greater comedy in the world than reading the wiseass comments that people leave after ‘fluff’ stories like these.

Most times, people’s comments are much more entertaining than the news itself. As of an hour ago, this story, off of Yahoo News, already had 1,300 comments.

Here are just a few that cracked me up…..


- "I'll take "You're stuff for $1000 Alex"."
- "He put himself in jeopardy!"
- "I couldn't drink enough beer to make her look good."
- "She won the "Ugliest Burglar of the Year Award" in 2011."
- "She looks like sitting bull."
- "He chased her down due to the fact she refused to threaten him in the form of a question!"
- "Her lawyer is claiming that her face is a disaster area and, therefore, should eligible for federal funds."
- "I'll take potent septuagenarians for $1000!"
- "honestly i wouldn't touch her to hit her."
- "Man, Vanna White has let herself go."
- "What is: She doing in your room in the first place?"
- "Alex Trebek can only be destroyed by having him say his name backwards……"
- "I'll take "injuries that make loud popping sounds" for $1000 Alex."
- "If she's acquitted and they try her again on the same charges, it'll be double jeopardy"



And on and on and on… the comedy just keeps rolling in, every time I hit the ‘refresh’ button.

Honestly, when I read “He put himself in Jeopardy!”, I almost choked on my morning coffee. That comment brightened my mood for the next 15 minutes…

See? There’s a reason to be well-read…..

20 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I snapped my Achilles Tendon once as well...after shagging your mother, Trebek!

Slyde said...

yeah, i was gonna end the post with a SNL clip, but i got lazy

sybil law said...

Awww, Earl took my idea!! Oh, well - great minds and all....

Cocaine Princess said...

Those are all too funny!! My fave is "Man, Vanna really let herself go."

2abes said...

No matter how funny a story is the comments are way better. Theres no shortage of wise ass comedians. SNL should tap this resource for writers

Slyde said...

sybil: dont ever compare yourself to earl... youre insulting yourself...

cocain: yeah, thats a keeper.

abes: SNL should hire ANYBODY instead of who they have currently..

Bouncin' Barb said...

I do the exact same thing as you. I read the story and then focus on the comments below. Some are so stupid and others are too friggen funny. I put a comment on Huffington once and started a nasty arguement with 2 assholes. I reminded them that I was entitled to my opinion!

Chris H said...

Did you add a comment???

Lotus07 said...

I take a slightly different view of the news, since I don't beleive any of it and alwasy assume there is an alterior motive for anything I see on television or the internet.

(call me jaded)

My assumption is that this is protitute he hired to do something kinky. When he wasn't satisfied with her performance, he refused to pay, she ran off with his wallet while his tidy-whities were still around his anlkes, he tried to grab her, fell down and broke his ankle.

That was probably the real story, before it made its way through his publisist, some tabloid news editors and the censors.

Regardless, this street urchin was probably desperate for her next hit of meth, she will probably be dead and decomposing under a bridge somewhere in less than 3 years....sad, sad, sad.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

I read the comics in the news.

They put it in the news for a reason, people.

Marlene said...

Laughing my arse off at the Vanna White comment!!! You've gotta admit - that burglar is, well, just kinda plain butt ugly. *shiver*

MarkD60 said...

All I can do is shake my head...

Slyde said...

barb: yeah, ive been known to yell at a few people on the internet, too...

chris: i ALMOST did, but all the good ones were taken...

bruce: you? jaded? nah, with you its all rainbows and puppies!

lemon: good point!

marlene: yeah, shes not much of a looker, but i bet back in the day... yowza!

mark: cmon, you can do more than that...

Heff said...

My guess is - The lady was ORIGINALLY there to give him a "Daily Double" !

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Geez Bruce! Are there like prizes and award categories for jaded?!?! I'M KIDDING! Like Slyde said, with you it's always rainbows and puppies. No seriously, I consider myself fairly cynical/jaded but...I just never would have picked up on the bridge thing at all.

At any rate, very funny Slyde! It's sort of too bad she's going to be dead and under a bridge soon though.

Slyde said...

heff: yes, because thats when the points REALLY go up!

Jill: yeah, if only we knew which bridge!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

FUNNY Slyde!!!!! :-)

OH WAIT!! OH WAIT!! Maybe it's going to be the bridge that's on MY BLOG this week!!!!!!!!!!! Except, I think Bruce was maybe implying death by something other than jumping/suicide...

meleah rebeccah said...

Um.... that snapshot of the lovely lady who committed the dastardly deed? = She looks like a total meth-head tweeker!

A Beer for the Shower said...

This solidifies the fact that Alex Trebek is indeed a ninny.

jules said...

Ha ha. It's good to see the humour is these things. Hopefully, he read the comments and had a laugh too!