Thursday, June 23, 2011

Would You Like Fries With That?

I know this story kinda became news last Friday, but I’m gonna post it now anyway.

It’s only a week late. So what? Can’t a girl take some extra time to make herself look presentable and sexy for you? I had to fix my face! You want me to look good for you, right? Well, looking THIS good takes time!

…..

Sorry, I seem to have accidently channeled the conversation I have with Friz EVERY FUCKING TIME WE HAVE TO GO OUT SOMEWHERE!!

I’m back now.

Where were we?

Oh yeah.

Anyway, last Friday Japanese researchers announced to the world that they have discovered a way to end world hunger!

Isn’t that awesome? For the first time in human existence, man has discovered a way to create a reusable meat source that doesn’t involve the killing of animals!

There’s only one SMALL catch……

It’s really insignificant, really. Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m bringing it up……

What’s the catch, you might ask?

The meat is made out of poo.

Really.

No. Fucking REALLY.

Here, I’m gonna go vomit in the corner while you watch this…..





Ok, I’m back. Anyone have a breath mint?

Of course, if we all start eating Poo Burgers, I have a feeling that the worldwide demand for breath mints might start to raise dramatically, so you might want to start hoarding them now.

My favorite part of that video? Even though it’s treated as a serious discussion, and the scientists are obviously very proud of their huge scientific advancement, they still feel silly enough about the whole thing to label the freezer where they are keeping the meat, “SHITBURGERS!”

Anyway, who’s gonna be first in line for this new culinary treat?

Gives a whole new meaning to going thru the McDonalds Drive-Thru and ordering a “Number 2”, doesn’t it?

29 comments:

sybil law said...

I couldn't even watch. And, to make you feel better, I haven't heard of this before.
Thanks, Slyde. Thanks.

Raquel's World said...

OMG-WWJOD? (What would Jamie Oliver Do?)

The food revolution dude. He would have a field day with this.

Slyde said...

sybil: You, my dear, are quite welcome!

Raquel: He probably would. i dont even know what else to say about it...

Paticus said...

Wow.
Did anyone else find his human hand poker to be a little disturbing?

Heff said...

You're SHITTING ME !

Yes, I'll have the 3/4lb MegaTurder with cheese and a Diarrhea shake, please.....and throw in some toothpicks if you don't mind.....

Slyde said...

Pat: yeah, i wasnt quite getting that, either... i guess they had to have a sense of humor about the whole thing.

Heff: I shit you not!

B.E. Earl said...

What the crap? I think I just became a vegetarian.

2abes said...

If you eat enough corn prior to producing the turd, could you call it a veggie burger?

I guess Beecher was ahead of his time.

Annabelle said...

So fucking nasty.

I refuse to watch, so the question may have been answered....can you eat the poo from a poo burger?

At what point is the "nutritional value" lost?

Did I mention this is fucking nasty? And not in the good way.

Malka said...

These people are cordially invited to eat my shit, but there is only one hole in my body that deals in poop traffic, and my mouth isn't it.

Slyde said...

earl: you sure? i can whip up some brunch for you...

abes: yes, beecher was just serving some fast food.

anna: i dont think i want to try it enough to find out.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

For the most part I try not to eat anything that wasn't available to my grandmother and great grandmother as a food source, so I think I'm safe from the shitburgers. Although, I really don't mind most of the stuff they do with soy these days.

Also ICK!!!! YUCK!!!!!

Paula said...

Yuck. This post has me rethinking and conspiring as to whether there is shit in our burgers already. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I never ever thought I'd go off meat. yuuuuck.

EW! but there are pictures of children eating animal poop straight from the cows buttom. I'm not laughing. That picture put me off eating for two or three days. I was so grossed out.

I think it ends world hunger bcause it puts you off eating completely.

And yes, getting THAT pretty takes LONG LONG time. I always take two hours. So I'm Team Friz. Sorry Slyde :P

CPalermo21 said...

I mean - White Castle already has a thriving business ... is this really THAT much more offensive? I think not.

Slyde said...

malka: well done, lass. You just made me LOL :)

jill: well, technically, "poo" WAS available to grandma skwood...

paula: i have to say that ive never seen such a picture.... did you make it your computer's wallpaper?

chris: now thats just mean. White Castle prides itself on serving only the choicest cuts of fine sirloin to its customers....

Mistakenly Misunderstood said...

Seriously...Will not watch video but OMG made me laugh so hard at your closing remark!

Bouncin' Barb said...

Let's make sure we buy tons of stocks in the breath mint market before it becomes public. We'll be millionaires!!

Susan Higgins said...

I pewked and decided NOW is the time to become a vegetarian!

Marlene said...

I love good fart and shit stories anytime I can get them - but I don't eat that crap!! (No pun intended). BLECCH.

MarkD60 said...

No frikkin way man.

radioactive girl said...

I didn't hear about this before you posted it. I feel very sick thinking about this and I am going to try and forget I ever heard this.

Slyde said...

mistaken: thanks! I'm very funny!

barb: im hoarding tic tacs as we speak...

susan: im with you... and tufu burgers for everybody!

marlene: blech, indeed...

mark: way.

radio: i've been trying to forget it since last week... its not working.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Food source! Food source! I think grandma would have vomited a lot & eventually choked during that day and age. I'm pretty sure. Oh my gosh but we're so much better off these days. Look how far technology has brought us!

Slyde said...

yeah, right back to "poo".

I'm pretty sure thats how the cavemen started out...

The Tame Lion said...

Vigorously nodding my head in agreement with all the comments above.
Conclusion:
In order to survive, don't eat!

Cocaine Princess said...

OMG that is so disgusting on so many different levels I don't even know where to begin!

Excuse me while I reach for the bottle of Pepto~Bismal, I think I'm going to be sick.....

Slyde said...

lion: not eating MIGHT be a problem...

princess: pass it to me when you're done, k?

Tamara said...

This must be a joke. If not... I can't even even think about if not.

Lotus07 said...

This is just that whole Solyent Green concept, in different packaging. Ever notice that when a new McDonald's openes up, the homeless population goes down in the area? Those french fries aren't made of potatoes you know.