Thursday, June 09, 2011

My Dreams Are Silly

Ok, I had another messed up dream last night.

It’s another one of those dreams where, try as I might, for the life of me I can’t seem to figure out what the heck my sexy subconscious is trying to tell me.

In my dream, I am standing around my house, talking to Friz, when suddenly I feel this great pain, and I realize that I can’t speak. It was like my whole body was seizing up on me.

Then, while she is standing there trying to talk to me, I realize that I am on the verge of passing out. I’m fighting to stay awake but I can’t do it, and I hit the floor, seeing nothing but blackness as I pass out.

When I come to, I find myself in a hospital, strapped down to the bed. Friz is there, and I ask her what the hell happened. She tells me that I have some kind of really dangerous, near-fatal disease, but they THINK they cured me but they aren’t sure.

So, I’m strapped to this bed and start flipping out, when I ask her how long I’ve been there in the hospital, and she tells me that I’ve been in a coma for 5 days. I must say, that she seems to be quite chipper about it. In real life, she can be quite vindictive too, but I must say that being happy that I’m near death seems a bit over the top, even for her.

Anyway, in the dream, I am suddenly unstrapped to the bed somehow, and I try to stand up, and I feel an incredible pain in my sides. I can barely walk and I’m starting to flip out again.

When Friz sees my confusion about my inability to walk, she turns to me and says “Oh yeah, that. I decided that since we were here in the hospital anyway, I told them to give you a double hip replacement. I figured it couldn’t hurt. That pain you’re feeling is probably the big metal hinges that they inserted into your hip-bones.”

When I asked her why the HOLY FUCK she told them to do that to me, when I had no damn problem with my hips at all, she says “I don’t know… I thought it would be funny”

Then I woke up. I awoke with the almost-unstoppable urge to reach over and strangle the life out of Friz while she slept, but what passes for my sanity finally kept me calm enough to remember that I really can’t blame “Real-Life Friz” for the things that “Dream Friz” does.

But I DO believe that she really WOULD be spiteful enough to do that to me in real life. Just for kicks, ya know?

I really don’t understand why I bring out the worst in people. I’m so sweet and bangable.


sybil law said...

Man, dreams like that leave me pissed off at the person all day, regardless of how silly it is.
Or maybe you need a hip replacement.
Or a psychiatrist.

2abes said...

you, my friend have issues! To many horror movies and violent video games. Or maybe it wasn't a dream... and all this is a dream.

Slyde said...

sybil: yeah, and sex dreams leave me lusting for the person all day, even if i never liked them before that.

abes: maybe

meleah rebeccah said...

Man, I'm jealous. I never remember my dreams.

Mrs. Hall said...

so, we've established that you can be anxiety prone. because really, underneath, all this dream was was anxiety stuff.

that being said, I did once dream mr. hall had done something untoward towards me. and yes, I was pissed at him all day because of it. even though it was just the 'dream mr. hall', i still think the 'real mr. hall' bore some of the responsibility.

ok then!!

good times!!

hope the hip replacement(s) work out fer ya!

Slyde said...

meleah: im jealous that you dont!

holly: i guess it IS from some form of anxiety, but i wish i could pinpoint it.

Verdant Earl said...

It means that you are suppressing your true gay nature. Clearly.

Slyde said...

earl: as much as you keep wishing for it, its just not gonna happen. sorry.

MarkD60 said...

The Italians say that when you have a dream, the opposite happens.
My Uncle, years before he died, was in the hospital. The doctors wanted to remove his kidneys, which would mean dialysis for the rest of his life. My aunt literally stopped them from removing his kidneys. They found out later that the kidneys weren't the problem, and my Aunt saved my Uncles ass.

Hope you watched the video on my post today, I'll send it to you if you want

BB said...

Man you do have some crazy ass dreams. That is just scary. I'd want to reach over and strangle someone too, haha.

Slyde said...

mark: did your aunt have a dream about it? i think you left that part out. p.s. which video? the porn one from yesterday? i saw that one.

barb: yeah i had to control myself...

Unknown said...

My hubby has porno dreams about me and other dudes. Freaks him out and gets him all in a funk.

If I get pissed at someone in a dream it would have to be pretty severe to carry over in to reality.

Though, when pregnant my dreams were off the charts insane. Are you knocked up?

Slyde said...

not for lack of trying :(

Brandy Wilcoxen said...

I've woke up from dreams like that and DID punch the man. He immediately apologized before he woke up all the way to realize he didn't deserve it,...that time.

Heff said...

Women WILL Kill You.

I have spoken.

SK Waller said...

Make it into a book. Stephen King made a fortune writing shit like that.

Marlene said...

LOL....poor Friz....she wouldn't have known what hit her.

Chris H said...

Seriously weird dream....maybe it's your subconscience trying to tell you to stop banging chicks in your dreams or Fiz is gunna get back at you!
I mean, you NEED your hips for 'stuff' eh? lol

Nes said...

you're odd: but in a good way ;)

themajessty said...

I have the best dreams before my period.

And "bangable"?

Totally. lol.

Radioactive Tori said...

That is hilarious! My dreams are always crazy too but I have never had a double hip replacement just because I was already there. If you think about it, she was just saving you some time in the future, right? I mean if you ever did have hip problems you would need to go back and do it anyway maybe, right? This way you were already done.

Slyde said...

brandy: you got him to APOLOGIZE for the dream? damn, girl!

heff: its a fun way to die, tho...

Steph: agreed. especially his later stuff

marlene: probably not :)

chrish: i dunno.. do i really NEED my hips?

nes: i'll take that.....

lemons: awwwwww :)

radio: yeah, i guess in a bizarro world, i COULD look at it that way!

Sandra said...

So what you're saying is that Friz is looking she came out of this experience alive?

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

she was right that is hilarious

Jill said...

Ugh. I hate being mad at someone because of a dream.

As for the interpretation, you probably know this one but just in case - to interpret your dream, you are supposed to imagine yourself as EVERYONE in the dream. So you already saw the dream from your own perspective. But next, you're supposed to imagine that you were Friz in the dream. And also you were the doctor and the nurse or whoever else was in it. So if you're Friz, you replaced your own hips for fun and you try & see what that tells you about you.

Elise said...

Ohh the dream thing!

Yeah I tend to react to real solicitor and blame him for dream-solicitor's actions.

Like the time dream-solicitor told me the lawn had to be replaced by gravel because the grass isn't suitable for "super-skids"

Mad I know but I woke up and yelled at him to "leave the grass alone"

Imagine he'd replaced my hips! What a bastard! How dare he!

Caz said...

haha That sounds awful! and poor Friz!

The amount of times TheBand has been in trouble for what he did in my dreams are countless!

Slyde said...

sandra: yes, she's quite lucky indeed!

eliot: welcome! and thanks!

Jill: you know, i actually had never heard that before. I am going to have to try to interpret my next dream that way.

elise: and you the hell are you again? Damn, girl, you've been AWOL for ages!

caz: good to know that its not just me doing it :)