Thursday, June 02, 2011

Knives


I don’t remember my dreams too often, but when I do, they usually involve me trying to get laid.

Case in point:

Last night, I was watching Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World again, which is a movie that I considered to be just “so-so”, but every fucking time it’s on TV I end up watching it again, so I guess something about it has grown on me.

Anyway, last night it must have left an impression on me, since I dreamt that I was in an office building with Knives (who I have never really considered to be too attractive, but admittedly in the movie she plays a high school girl and as randy as I am, I try to stay away from jailbait so maybe that’s why she’s never done it for me).

In any event, I’m not sure what me and Knives were doing in the office building, but she started coming on to me (as ALL women do, given a few minutes), and I ended up doing naughty things to her in the elevator. I must say, I wasn’t a fan of her before, but this morning I find myself an ardent supporter of her work. As in the movie, she was quite flexible and really aimed to please. Maybe it’s that whole submissive Asian thing.

Whatever. She really put out, and for that, my dream-self is quite grateful.

Because you never know what you might dream about. If I had eaten a hot tamale before going to bed, I might have ended up banging Michael Cera instead.

20 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

"Maybe it’s that whole submissive Asian thing."

Wow...it's amazing how racist you are when it comes to Asians.

Just don't feel bad about her age. Ellen Wong was 25 when she made that film. Feel free to do legal, naughty things to her in your dreams.

sybil law said...

Like you haven't done naughty things to Michael Cera in your dreams already.

Slyde said...

Earl: racist? i think you need to take a lesson on the idea of talking about a "stereotype"

sybil: in my dreams? no. In the backseat of my car after the mtv movie awards last year? maybe.

B.E. Earl said...

I think you need to take a lesson on the idea of perpetuating a "stereotype", buddy.

2abes said...

tell us about your dreams when you have a taco and watch reruns of xuxa

Slyde said...

earl: i think you need to learn the difference between "perpetuating" and "discussing", pal.

abes: what the fuck is xuxa?

B.E. Earl said...

"I wonder if there is anything to that whole submissive Asian thing that some folks talk about? Or is that just a ridiculous stereotype? What do you think?"

That's discussing of a stereotype.

"Maybe it's that whole submissive Asian thing."

That's perpetuating a stereotype.

And couple this with your post from May titled "Chinese People Sure Can Fight" where you jumbled Japanese and Chinese traditions/terms willy nilly...well, there's a pattern here.

(Man, I love pulling your chains. And by chains, of course, I mean penis.)

Slyde said...

you havent pulled my penis in years....

ok, days..

ok, what time is it now?

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Goodness. I have to admit to having cringed a little bec. in all honestly it *does* read a little like it's perpetuating a stereotype. So I'm really glad to read that you're only discussing it. AND that she's of age. Yeah.

Slyde said...

jill: please dont agree with earl. ever.

Chris H said...

At least you are getting laid in your dreams.... cos I'm sure Fizz would have something to say about it if it was for real.

Marlene said...

Isn't it funny....we have these dreams and suddenly, the next day we're lusting. LOL. Well, you are, anyway!

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

So I saw a (hilarious/dirty) comment you left on someone's blog and I was like, "DUDE. I NEED TO CHECK THIS GUY'S BLOG."

And I did.

And after reading some of your previous posts, I'm laughing out loud.

I actually do have quite a few...sexy dreams. Thank god I'm a girl so I don't have to clean up my bed every two weeks. ;)

MarkD60 said...

I always heard it was ice cream before bed that gave you weird dreams...

Slyde said...

chrish: probably. she's uptight like that.

marlene: yeah, but im ALWAYS lusting.. thats not a good barometer...

lemons: welcome! ok, now i want to know what i said to get you here :)

mark: no, ice cream before bed just makes me poo in my pants...

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Well...you know I try my best not to. :-) :-) :-)

elizabeth said...

"Maybe it’s that whole submissive Asian thing."

I think that must be it.

(If this is the last post can it be considered a happy ending.... or is that something entirely different?)

meleah rebeccah said...

"If I had eaten a hot tamale before going to bed, I might have ended up banging Michael Cera instead. "

AHAHhahahahahha! Oh, Slyde. You crack me up!

Kylee said...

In the time I've been M.I.A from Blogger, I've forgotten how entertaining your posts are. Looking forward to more in the future :)

Lotus07 said...

Well, this pretty much leaves me speechless.....