Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Hot For Teacher

So, you may have heard that I was on vacation last week.

The BEST part of vacation is not having to go to work for a week.

The WORST part is having to come back and catch up on all the work you’ve missed.

And it’s even WORSE when you’ve ALSO got to help your Mini-Me catch up with all of HIS homework, too.

Before we left for vacation, I told Mini-Me to ask his teacher if he was going to have to make up all the work he was going to miss, since we took him out of school for a week for our Jamaica vacation.

She told him, “Not to worry about it. Have a great vacation!”

I took THAT to mean, “No, I won’t ask him to make up his missing schoolwork. Enjoy your time!”

But apparently, it meant, “By all means, take your vacation and try to have fun, because I am going to fucking BURY YOU with schoolwork when you get back!”

Because, much to our surprise, when Mini-Me got home from his first day back at school last week, he could barely WALK with the mountain of books and paperwork she had stuffed into his little knapsack.

Seriously, I could not fucking BELIEVE how much work she gave him to make up.

And don’t for a second think that I don’t want him to catch up on the important things he missed. I spent half the weekend teaching him the math concepts that he missed while he was away. THAT stuff is important, and I get that. I’m with “Teach” on that score. Really.

But when I have to sit my son down on a beautiful Sunday morning, so he can spend hours completing word jumbles and coloring in pictures of butterflies, I start to get royally ticked off.

I mean seriously, what is the fucking point of making him do hours, of what amounts to busywork? Activities that she probably gave the class so she could take a break from all the screaming rugrats and have some time to herself for a bit.

I mean really! Did my son need to brush up on his use of the color “orange”? Will he need to build on those coloring skills when he gets to the 4th grade next year? I call bullshit on about 90 percent of the work that she made him (us!) do this weekend. It was a needless waste of time.

Ok, I’m done venting about how I spent HOURS cooped up inside on a fucking BEAUTIFUL Memorial Day weekend looking for the word “Turtle” hidden in a block of letters when I COULD have been outside enjoying the day.

I feel better now. Really.

Having a blog can be quite therapeutic sometimes.


Heff said...

Draw her that trademark picture of your DONG.

Verdant Earl said...

I'm siding with the teacher in this case. Only because it messed up your weekend.

Slyde said...

heff: i send it in with my son's homework, everyday

earl: thanks, douche-nozzle..

2abes said...

time to pay the piper....i'm with you the coloring work was given to the class as busy work to give them a break from the testing of the previous week. The math and reading should be made up.

Brandy Wilcoxen said...

I never believed in homework. Homework, for me, is for the work of home like chores and shit and I had plenty of them growing up. So I think ALL homework is BS.

Slyde said...

abes: agreed. math and reading ONLY!

brandy: yeah, but i dont think that the teach is gonna agree with you :)

sybil law said...

Oh, I hear ya. In 2nd grade, my kid came home in TEARS because she had 'missing work", and it was literally the same shit you're talking about - frigging crossword puzzles and coloring shit!! She was "missing" it, because I'd thrown it away, and ended up having to tell her teacher that is what MY fault, because I thought it was "busy work". She seemed to get a little offended at my calling it busy work, and said that it "reinforced their current lesson plans" or whatever, but I said, "Yes - but a kindergartener could have done it, when it was handed out there was a substitute, and it certainly LOOKED like busy work". End result - she didn't get in trouble for the shit I'd thrown away. Ridiculous!

latindog said...

Your post is very helpful to me as a teacher. The next time a student of mine takes a vacation during the school year I am going to check with the student to find out which portions of the work he and his parents find relevant and then have him do only that amount of work.

Unknown said...

Welcome home stud.

Marlene said...

Next time, take her with you on your vacation.

Chris H said...

Seriously??? There is no way I would have done it, or expected my child to do it either.
That teacher was just being mean.
I'm impressed to all hell that you actually DID IT.
Kudos to you dude.

Tamara said...

I loved colouring in - never felt like homework to me. Good on you for helping him out with it all, even on your weekend. Great dad award for you.

Radioactive Tori said...

The year that my son had huge health issues and missed a ton of school I disliked the teacher's idea of sending so much homework home. He spent all day in the hospital and when he came home he was supposed to do mountains of busywork? Crazy.

I am with you on sending home the stuff that they need to learn, but the busywork makes me crazy!

Paticus said...

I really think that everyone is overlooking the importance of working with the color orange. That shit MATTERS, yo!
At least once a day, I wish that I had a teacher when I was a youngin' that really reinforced the importance of working with orange.
Mini-Me should be counting his lucky stars(and maybe coloring some of them orange).

Malka said...

My Memorial Day weekend was awesome because I don't have kids and the color orange isn't allowed in the house. Rifle shooting, partying, eating... there. You got to boast of your lovely vacation, so I'm bragging about my good time, too.

Slyde said...

sybil: see? sybil's with me!

latin: and the next time you assign your students to color in a butterfly for homework, they have my permission to kick you in the nuts.

anna: thanks, baby.

marlene: i'd like to .... shes a hottie.

chrish: kudos to me, indeed!

Slyde said...

tam: i'd gladly take money.

radio: agreed. i think sometimes teachers get too caught up with 'doing what the kids are told' too much to take a step back and look at the big picture..

pat: maybe i'm just 'orange-deficient'?

malka: rifle shooting? where the heck do you live again?

Jill said...

I think you should call bullshit on about 90 % of homework in general, at least until middle school. Sorry about the lost weekend. :-( Hopefully the trip was still worth it though.

Malka said...

As to the rifle shooting, I use an outdoor range that is about a 45 minute's drive away, depending on whether you have to slow down much for Amish horse-driven vehicles. And I would also like to thank you for A Game of Thrones. I ordered the series of books from amazon and am enjoying the first one very much.