Thursday, April 21, 2011

Kids Say Funny Shit

This was a recent conversation I had with one of Mini-Me’s friends when I went to pick him up from school the other day.


The kid, who I have never seen before in my life, ran up to me, and said:

Kid: Hey, aren’t you Joey’s Dad?

Studly: Yup, that’s right.

Kid: I’m Joel!

Studly: Hi Joel….. What’s up?

Kid: Not much….. Hey have you ever heard of Harry Houdini?

Studly: Yes, as a matter of fact, I have.

Kid: No you haven’t…. you’re lying.

Studly: No, I don’t lie.

Kid: Ok then, if you know who he is, then tell me.

Studly: Harry Houdini was a famous magician and escape artist.

Kid: Wow, that’s right! You DO know who he is…

Studly: Told ya.

Kid: Did ya know he was Jewish?

Studly: That, I did NOT know….

Kid: Yup, he was Jewish….. JUST LIKE ME!

And with that, he ran off as quickly as he came, with the hugest shit-eating grin on his face, like he was SO damn proud that he shared the same religion with Houdini. I kept picturing him running home, cutting out a picture of Houdini and glueing it to a scrapbook full of pictures of other famous Jewish people, saying to himself “Yup, Houdini’s one of ours! We’ve got another one! WOO HOO!”

Made me chuckle all the way home. I really do love kids.

And not just MAKING them. Although THAT isn’t so bad either….

21 comments:

sybil law said...

Awww- that is cute!
I'd still rather make some kids, though...

Brandy Rose said...

It reminds me of a Family Guy episode when Mort screams "Save John Stewart, he's the most important one!"

B.E. Earl said...

This sounds so familiar...you must have told me about this on the phone or something.

Lotus07 said...

Boy, wait till he finds out about Henry Kissinger and Albert Eienstien.

Slyde said...

sybil: where and when!

brandy: i think i saw that one...

earl: im sure i did... it was a few weeks ago.

bruce: totally. he'll shit his pants!

Malka said...

Ha! Kids are a riot. I don't have any myself but my job keeps my life full of them, and so do my rapidly reproducing siblings.

2abes said...

the only thing the kid forgot was to kick you in the nuts before he ran away.....kids are priceless

Marlene said...

Cute kid. Wish they were all cute. Some are rotten little buggers, though. Ask me what kind of mood I'm in. Maybe I should go practice making babies.

cbeck said...

With my luck, the kid woulda just ran up, kicked me in the shin, screamed "HOUDINI RULES!" and then ran off with the smelly grin.

Cocaine Princess said...

He sounds cute.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

That is adorable. Making kids isn't as fun as having them when it takes years and meds and poking and prodding, but we've got two and we're through! Yay! LOL.

Paticus said...

But...But...My Mom told me that Harry Houdini was a Rastafarian just like ME...Sniff...I have to go...I...Um have something in my eye!

MarkD60 said...

I think all the Three Stooges were Jewish too!
So am I! WHoooo HOOOOOoooo!

Slyde said...

malka: yeah, they're a hoot, alright..

abes: he could have made my NUTS dissapear

marlene: if you need help practicing, let me know

cbeck: thats how it usually goes with me, too

cocaine: he was...

evil: yup, im a firm believer in being 'happy with what you have'. ive got one, and im good

paticus: its a little known fact that harry STARTED the rastafarian movement

mark: you could be the next Shemp!

elizabeth said...

It almost made feel warm and fuzzy. My experience recently with kids...not so much of the warm fuzzies I must admit.

Chris H said...

Nice to know he's proud of who he is.. Jewish an all!
I didn't know Harry was Jewish either.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Sounds like someone's been feeding the kid one of the antidotes to growing up surrounded by negative stereotypes and antisemitic jokes. That's how I grew up - very little knowledge of anything more to Judaism except the stereotypes, being left out of school Christmas pageants, and not having chocolate on Easter. Which is why I went totally the other way with my kids and gave them more religion than any six kids could possibly know what to do with. My boy just finished answering all the tour guide's questions about Jerusalem - given some preparation time, he could have given the tour himself. Just back from Israel last night, btw!

Slyde said...

liz: aw, cmon.. all kids give the fuzzies...

chrish: well, that makes 2 of us...

jill: I'm sure you're right, but i cant help but think things are different here on long island than where you live. After all, Long Island is basically half Italian and half Jewish.. it's not like the jews dont represent over here :)

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Yeah, that's probably WAY different than growing up in Shreveport, Louisiana, rural Arkansas and small town Vermont. :-) :-) :-)

Slyde said...

yeah, id have to think so. I don't imagine getting invited to too many Passover dinners in Ark....

meleah rebeccah said...

Awwww.. That's hilarious and adorable!