I’ve applied 2 times previously. This time around CBS didn’t ask applicants to fill out their 2,000 page legal form, which was a Godsend. All I had to do was post a video, under 1 minute in length. After I submitted it the first time, I got an email from CBS saying they wanted to accept it but I had to prove that the picture I had hanging in the background was my own work of art. Are they kidding me? It was a painting of James Dean, for God’s sake! Anyway, after much cursing, I re-did the video with anything within eyesight removed from the frame, which is why it looks like I’m standing in solitary confinement.
CBS doesn’t divulge how many people apply, but I’d imagine it was a lot. Anyway, they accepted my 2nd video, and I am now one of about 2,300 people who are vying for a shot on the show.
Mind you, I have no delusions that I’m actually moving on to the next round. Next week, CBS will hand-pick ONLY TEN videos out of the 2,300, and THEN they are going to put those ten online for America to vote and out of THOSE ten, they strongly imply that only the highest vote-getter will be flown to Los Angeles for an audition.
So yeah, I’ve got almost no chance. But I guess, for once in my life, I’m gonna try to not be my usual, pessimistic self and pretend to me one of those annoying/“The Secret”/“I can do anything if I just believe hard enough” types.
Ladies, before viewing, please try to use your Lamaze technique to control your breathing, or whatever it is you chicks do when you see someone you really want to bang but, for whatever reason, need to control yourself.
And if anyone gets the urge to mail me their panties, please let me know in the comments and I will gladly forward you my mailing address.
Anyway, here it is:
I-Hate-Technology-Edit: Stupid embedding from CBS is giving me problems. If you can't see it, try THIS direct link instead.
If by some miracle I DO manage to get to the next level, you all better believe I’m hitting all you sexy folks up to get the word out and vote.
I’m gonna need all the help I can to get more votes than the chick with big tits from Wisconsin who is outside making snow-angels in a bikini.