I REALLY tried to use the power of positive thinking a-la The Secret to make this one happen for me. I kept picturing myself on that island: sleeping on the beach, hearing the surf crash incessantly in the distance, strolling through the jungle, banging howler monkeys that strayed too close to our camp….
Did I just share too much?
Anyway, I’d tell you all that out of the ten people CBS selected, I was MUCH better looking than any of them, but then that goes without saying, doesn’t it? It’s kinda like saying “Al Pacino is a much better actor than Yahoo Serious.”
So, in the end, I guess the third time was most definitely NOT the charm for me. But that’s ok….. as soon as they have another audition, I’ll be sure to be taking off my clothes again and submitting another video. I will NOT give up on this one. Nope. Not gonna happen.
And I’d LIKE to be gracious and say something like “It was an honor just to be nominated”, but cmon, we all know that when people say that it’s bullshit. What they REALLY mean is, “I’m a loser and I just want to go home and put on my Elmo feetie pajamas and eat Ben and Jerry’s while watching reruns of Three’s Company.”
Anyway, thanks to all you sexy people who gave me some positive feedback and vibage. I owe each and every one of you an oiled-up lap dance. With the possibility of sex afterwards in the back room.
A strong possibility.
A VERY strong possibility. Wink, wink.
Sheesh, you’re thick. Look, I’ll gladly bang you, ok?