So, being the awesome Uber-Daddy that I am, tomorrow I will be the class parent on Mini-Me’s school field trip.
We are going to see the Nutcracker.
Now, I have a bit of a confession to make.
I’ve never been one for the Ballet.
Now don’t get all uppity with me. Believe me, I understand the art, and the beauty, and the incredible dedication it takes to point yourself on your tippy toes and all that nonsense, but the truth is that actually having to sit thru the whole thing for a few hours always just seemed like an ‘ordeal’ to me.
I mean, I appreciate the work and dedication that proctologists have to go thru to learn their craft, but that doesn’t mean that I want to sit in and watch some old biddy get a colonoscopy anytime soon….
What was I talking about again?
Oh yeah, the ballet. Like I said, I just don’t get it.
Plus, besides the whole ‘boredom’ thing getting to me, I’m just slightly worried about what ‘kind’ of nutcracker we’ll be seeing.
You know what I’m talking about, right?
What I’m saying is…. I want to see THIS kind of nutcracker….
…. And not THIS kind of nutcracker.
I totally agree that it’s childish and immature of me, but watching guys prance around all commando like this makes me a tad uncomfortable. I mean, we all know what I’M looking at, and I know what YOU are looking at, and we BOTH know what the people sitting NEXT to me are looking at, but we all will sit there pretending like no one is looking at the outline of some guys hog dancing around in front of me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather not be seeing any guy’s junk flapping around in my face…….