First off, sorry for leaving you for over a week, after I specifically told all you sexy people that I wouldn't leave you like that again. But, I had a good reason, you see. My father was visiting me from sunny Florida for the last two weeks, and real life kinda went out the window for a bit.
But now he's gone, and I'm back to delight you.
Anyhoo, if the start of this post didn't grab you, then I don't know what will.
I was dared to do something different this year at a friend's Halloween party, and not just come as my usual undead/zombie/Jason/monster kinda thing.
Something a bit more ballsy.
Never let it be said that I don't have balls.
So, I decided to do what EVERY red-blooded American lad does when he's told to man up.....
I dressed like a girl.
Aren't I a treat to the eyes?
The frightening thing about my killer looks is that, try as I might to make myself look foolish, no matter what I do, I continue to be one sexy bitch.
Behold: This pic shows the shocking evidence of some drunk dude trying to have his way with me:
Friz wasn't going to stand for anyone laying their paws on her gorgeous man, so she clung to me all night:
I must say, shaving my legs was quite the experience. It took MUCH longer than I thought it would, but when it was over, I must admit that it felt kinda nice. I don't think I ever want the hair to come back in. Maybe I'll just go the "Full Monty" and treat myself to a bikini wax.
And don't even get me STARTED on wearing makeup! Friz was pissed when I got disappointed that she didn't have any eyeliner or makeup in any "hooker" colors... I just assumed all you chicks had that shit stashed somewhere. Anyway, as she applied my eyeliner, she told me that most girls would KILL for my eyelashes.
Here's me giving my coquettish "who me?" look.
Isn't that just DEAD sexy?
Feel free to make that your new wallpaper. No one can blame you.
Anyway, I will try my darnedest to get back to a regular schedule, and to get back to reading all your blogs, which I have not done for 2 weeks now.
And anyone looking for a good time Saturday night, give me a ring. I'm easy.