My dentist blows.
I mean, he doesn’t “blow”, of course.
I mean, he sucks.
Wait, that didn’t come out right either.
Why does everything I try to say come out sexual?
Anyway, regardless of the issue of whether or not my dentist enjoys performing fellacio, what I MEANT to say is that he REALLY pissed me off this weekend.
I had an appointment for 9A.M. Saturday morning.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a “9.A.M. Saturday Morning” kind of person, so getting my sexy ass to a dental appointment at that time amounted to nothing short of a Herculean effort on my part. Although I don’t look like it, I really DO need my beauty sleep.
Anyway, Saturday morning my alarm went off, so I threw on some clothes and sleep-drove my way over to the office.
No sooner did I walk in, when the receptionist looked at me with a troubled face and told me:
“I’m sorry, our pipes burst here this morning, so we can’t see anyone today. “
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not kidding. I’ve been calling people to cancel appointments since I arrived”
She’d been calling people to cancel appointments since she arrived?
Now, I don’t have the superior mindset to have yet climbed the corporate ladder high enough to have had the chance to obtain the lofty position of “Dental Office Receptionist”, but By Gosh, if I ever do, I’m gonna make sure that when I need to cancel appointments, I’M FIRST GONNA FUCKING CALL THE FUCKING PEOPLE WHO WERE DUE TO COME IN AT 9 FUCKING A.M.!!!!!!!!
Who the hell did she call first… the 3 o’ clock gingivitis emergency?
Maybe she sorted her appointment list by middle initial, and decided to call people in THAT order instead, just to change things up a little?
Or perhaps she decided to call people in order of penis size?
Ascending order, of course…….