As you might have noticed, I no longer have any Google ads displayed on the blog anymore.
What, you might ask, prompted me to take such a dramatic shift in my outlook on web advertising?
Perhaps I was thinking about you all, my loyal readers, who I decided were just too damn good and wholesome for the kind of advertising that was popping up on here…..
Or perhaps, I decided to just stop bending over for The Man and bring this blog back to its humble, non-corporate-sponsored beginnings.
Or maybe, they dropped me.
Ok, it’s that last one.
How did this happen, you might ask?
Let’s tell a story…….
Once upon a time, about a year ago, a young handsome INSANELY HOT prince decided to make some side money on his blog, and put up some advertising by making a deal with the evil, King Google. Oh yeah, King Google was fat and impotent, too.
Anyway, after agreeing to the deal, the Hot Prince was dismayed to discover that he would not get paid out when his account accrued every 10 dollars, as he had initially thought. No, through dubious advertising and legal-speak, he learned that he would only get paid out every 100 dollars. Clearly, the Hot Prince wasn’t going to get his first payment for a LOOOONG time, as most weeks he seemed to earn only a few cents. Sometimes, he would earn a buck here or there, but it certainly wasn’t the norm.
Until 2 weeks ago, when, much to his glee, he discovered that he earned about 10 dollars in 1 week!
Now, suddenly VERY interested in his daily stats, he began checking his earnings every day. To his surprise, his earnings seemed to more than double each day! 5 dollars on Monday, $12 on Tuesday, 25 on Wednesday! It was like a dream come true. In the space of a week, the Hot Prince had accrued almost $99 dollars worth of earnings. Before the week was out, he was going to be paid for all his hard work! Things were certainly beginning to look up for the Hot Prince’s blogging career.
That is, until the next day, when the flaccid King Google sent the Hot Prince a message, saying that they found his reported web clicks to be FRAUDULENT and that his account was to be suspended immediately!
“There HAD to be some mistake!”, thought the Hot Prince (who was hung like a horse, by the way… have I mentioned that yet?). So he quickly took quill to parchment and wrote King Google a letter showing his displeasure at this decision, and asking for some kind of explanation.
For TWO weeks the Hot Prince waited for his reply, and when one finally DID come from King Google, the Hot Prince was disgusted to find that all he received was a form letter saying that they are sticking with their decision, with STILL with no explanation about this alleged “Fraudulent” activity.
At this point, the Hot Prince became enraged. After all, he had been hawking ads on his site for 9 months now, in good faith that at some point he would be compensated for his efforts. To pull them now, when it finally appeared that he would get his due, seems quite shifty and it’s FUCKING BULLSHIT!
Anyway, the Hot Prince is going to try one last appeal to get my (er, I mean HIS) money, but he is not the least bit hopeful.
Have any other Princes or Princesses out there had any similar tales about advertising through King Google?
Because right about now I’m mad enough to punch them in their virtual nutsack.