So, I figured there was no better way to celebrate Labor Day this weekend than to take my sexy ass to go see Machete.
You all know about Machete, right?
Actually, most of you probably DON’T know about Machete.
I mean, sure, it’s a major motion picture and all, but it’s not like the film has gotten a whole hell of a lot of press.
Anyhoo, for those that don’t know, Machete spawned from one of the fake movie trailers that appear throughout the movie Grindhouse. Director Robert Rodriguez always loved the concept, and even though the fake trailer was meant to be over-the-top ridiculous, soon after Grindhouse, Rodriguez began the process of making it into a real movie.
If you saw Grindhouse, then you know that Machete tells the story of a Mexican Federale (played by Danny Trejo, who Rodrigues ALWAYS includes in his films), who gets set up for murdering a senator, and while posing as a day laborer, begins to enact his bloody, limb-hacking revenge.
The movie just didn’t do it for me.
I admit that I loved the Machete Trailer in Grindhouse. Most everyone who saw it did as well. The problem is that while all the over-the-top, cartoonish violence made for an entertaining 2 minutes of a trailer, it becomes a bit of a bore when stretched to 90 minutes.
And that, in a nutshell, is my problem with Robert Rodriguez in general. While I enjoy most of his movies well enough to keep seeing them, he just isn’t schooled enough as a writer to carry the chores of writing a film all by himself. Watching his films always seem to me to be like what a film would look like if you gave a 14 year old a movie studio…… films filled with all action scenes that the young’un THOUGHT would look cool, but in the end he didn’t have the skill set to really pull it off.
I think that’s the reason that his most successful films are the Spy Kids movies…. His kind of silly comedy and action suits itself to a kids movie, but never seems to transfer itself as well to an adult feature.
Mind you, he HAS made some decent films. Desperado still stands as one of my favorite movies of the 90’s. That movie just oooooozed ‘cool’.
Hell, I wanted to bang Antonio Banderas for a month after I saw that movie in the theatre.
Earl, on the other hand, who saw it with me, wanted to bang ME.
Unfortunately for him, that’s never gonna happen. I have standards, ya know….