Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Machete


So, I figured there was no better way to celebrate Labor Day this weekend than to take my sexy ass to go see Machete.

You all know about Machete, right?

Actually, most of you probably DON’T know about Machete.

I mean, sure, it’s a major motion picture and all, but it’s not like the film has gotten a whole hell of a lot of press.

Anyhoo, for those that don’t know, Machete spawned from one of the fake movie trailers that appear throughout the movie Grindhouse. Director Robert Rodriguez always loved the concept, and even though the fake trailer was meant to be over-the-top ridiculous, soon after Grindhouse, Rodriguez began the process of making it into a real movie.

If you saw Grindhouse, then you know that Machete tells the story of a Mexican Federale (played by Danny Trejo, who Rodrigues ALWAYS includes in his films), who gets set up for murdering a senator, and while posing as a day laborer, begins to enact his bloody, limb-hacking revenge.

The movie just didn’t do it for me.

I admit that I loved the Machete Trailer in Grindhouse. Most everyone who saw it did as well. The problem is that while all the over-the-top, cartoonish violence made for an entertaining 2 minutes of a trailer, it becomes a bit of a bore when stretched to 90 minutes.

And that, in a nutshell, is my problem with Robert Rodriguez in general. While I enjoy most of his movies well enough to keep seeing them, he just isn’t schooled enough as a writer to carry the chores of writing a film all by himself. Watching his films always seem to me to be like what a film would look like if you gave a 14 year old a movie studio…… films filled with all action scenes that the young’un THOUGHT would look cool, but in the end he didn’t have the skill set to really pull it off.

I think that’s the reason that his most successful films are the Spy Kids movies…. His kind of silly comedy and action suits itself to a kids movie, but never seems to transfer itself as well to an adult feature.

Mind you, he HAS made some decent films. Desperado still stands as one of my favorite movies of the 90’s. That movie just oooooozed ‘cool’.

Hell, I wanted to bang Antonio Banderas for a month after I saw that movie in the theatre.

Earl, on the other hand, who saw it with me, wanted to bang ME.

Unfortunately for him, that’s never gonna happen. I have standards, ya know….

15 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I've never wanted to bang you. A heartfelt cuddle would be more than enough for me.

Slyde said...

yeah, you say that NOW....

badgerdaddy said...

I really enjoyed Planet Terror, and El Mariachi was fun.

I'd like to bang both you and Earl though, and we can cuddle afterward so everyone gets what they want.

sybil law said...

I call bullshit!
You don't have standards.

sybil law said...

But don't leave me our of the sammich! Geez, it's all gay in here...

Mrs. Hall said...

yeah, I hear what you are saying about Machete.

I recently saw "Black Dynamite"- this was an homage to the blaxploitation films-complete with a kung fu bad ass lead who sleeps with with multiple white women and uses gonna git u sucka type dialouge. However, this is the main gimmick and while it's fun at first, ninety minutes in- the gimmick becomes cumbersome and weighs things down. and the film suffers because of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Dynamite

No matter the film, if there is no real character development and just flashy gimmicks, the film should be an hour at most!

But, Mr. Hall is all atwitter about Machete. So, I will most likely be watching it. I'll try to be drunk to ease the pain :)

good review Slyde!

:)

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

You know, I actually had a comment despite the fact that I don't see enough movies to even know what the movie with the trailer in it that spawned this movie was.

Oh! Wait! I remembered it now! It was that I can totally see how a fake trailer would maybe not make the best inspiration for an entire movie. I also get confused when lines of toys spawn movies. But then there aren't that many movies I actually like.

I like "Pancho & Lefty" though, & that song has federales in it. Does that count? ;-)

Heff said...

You BASTARD ! You saw it before me, too !

My bud Wil Harrison went to see it on opening day, and said the SAME thing you said. It was good, but not as awesome as the original Grindhouse trailer.

Now I wonder if I should wait for it on dish....

badgerdaddy said...

Syb, slide on in here, baby...

Marlene said...

Ok - I gotta know....was the Cheech and Chong dude (can't remember which one it was in this movie) - funny in this movie?

Saw the trailers for it, and it didn't do anything for me.

Chris H said...

Well... seeing as you said it sucks, I shan't bother going to see it then! Give Earl a cuddle... make HIS day! lol

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh well, there goes my desire to see the movie! I guess Ill just wait till it comes out ondemand to see it!

Cocaine Princess said...

B.E. Earl's comment is too funny!

The only RR film's I've seen are Desperado and the entire Dusk Til Dawn franchise.

I haven't seen Grindhouse yet.

Rob Zombie also puts Danny Trejo in all his films too.

badgerdaddy said...

BTW, Danny Trejo rules. If you want to know just how much he rules, read Edward Bunker's utterly brilliant autobiography, Mr Blue.

sybil law said...

Yay!! Thanks, badgerdaddy - I won't disappoint! :)