Thursday, June 24, 2010

Slyde's Anniversary Week Celebration, Day 4



Another day, and another guest post! With all these guest celebrities that keep popping up, this feels more like the Academy Awards. If i squint, i can almost see Jack Nickelson sitting in the front row with his shades on.

Anyway, today's guest poster is non other than Bruce from Hypocrisy. Bruce is always a good read. Plus he has a killer laser-disc collection that he might let me borrow one day.

After Bruce's post telling you all how awesome i am, i put up another old post that someone recommended.

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Five whole years. Wow.....impressive. I have been blogging that long, but I am not really into the whole anniversary thing. Maybe when I reach 20 years, I will make a big deal out of it.

I must admit that I keep coming back here and reading his rants, raves, reviews and miscellaneous ramblings because when you come right down to it.....he is actually funny and entertaining. Although he has a very over inflated sense of his own good looks, still reads comic books in his basement, almost sets his house on fire and draws cartoons of himself with a huge 'member', he still has merit. Although most of us know, that his wife is far hotter than he is. As for his son.....well, Obama had a bastard of a dad, and he turned out OK, so there is hope for mini-me. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I will offer this one bit of critic and praise. You are at your best when you interpret the world around you with your inevitable slant on things. I think we all are. Blogging is a matter of letting all our readers know, that we aren't alone in our absolute, disgust, wonderment and stupefaction of the world. It lets us know we aren't all insane. .... well, you may be insane, but you give the rest of us a gauge to let us now that we could sink much farther than we have.

So keep up the good work. Rail against the machine, shoot BB guns at the neighbors whose dogs take dumps on your lawn, and update us on the stupidity of your co-workers.......ow, and post more pictures of your wife....(Hubba, Hubba).

I will be in the wings waiting for more wholesome Slyde-Goodness.

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Are You Kidding Me?
Originally Posted Feb 12, 2009



This is an actual email I received from a co-worker. This email went out to the entire company.

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To: The Entire Company

From: Ditz

Subject: 2009 Expense Reports

This message is to inform all management that the corporate expense report form has changed to better serve the company's needs for 2009.

The new expense report can be accessed by clicking on the "Reimbursement" tab on the corporate intranet.

After viewing it, you will notice that there have been some major changes. As such, no 2008 reimbursement forms will be honored if it is submitted as of today.

Please look over the new form, and if you have any questions, please contact me directly.

These changes will help better streamline accounting reimbursing everyone, so please LET'S GET IT RIGHT FROM THE GECKO.

Sincerely,

Ditz

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I sat there, staring at the screen, dumbfounded, for about 20 minutes, before I recovered enough to pick up the phone and give her a call. She is, after all, a friend of mine (and kinda hot.... I'm not sure why i just added that part... oh who am I kidding, we ALL know why I added it), and I thought that maybe if i pointed out her typo, she might still be able to save face and retract it.

"Hey, I just read the email you sent out"

"Yeah?"

"So, you said that you wanted us to get it right from the gecko!"

".... and?"

"And? And you used the wrong fucking word. The phrase is 'get it right from the get go"

"No, it's not. I've heard that said a hundred times, and it's gecko"

"A gecko is a fucking lizard. Why would anyone say lets get it right from the lizard?"

"I don't know, but that's what they say"

"No one says that, except idiots"

"Did you just call me an idiot?"

"I don't know.... do you really think people go around saying 'lets get it right from the lizard?"

"I KNOW they do."

"Then yes, I'm calling you an idiot"

"Click"

The best part is that by now she must KNOW she was wrong, but I still haven't heard a peep from her.

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I had THOUGHT that was to be the funniest thing that happened to me today, until my hetero lifemate Earl just called earlier, and told me that one of his favorite TV shows is "Law and Order: S.U.V".

When I stopped laughing and asked him if they drive around solving crimes in a Ford Aerostar, he promptly hung up on me.

It really IS hard being this perfect in a world filled with such imperfection....

15 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Haha. A friend of mine used to work with this dummy that wrote, "Don't take things for granite"

Granite!!

Suzi Q said...

What am I going to do when your anniversary celebration is over? I could get used to this "Daily Dose of Slyde". I'm expecting you to compensate me for withdrawl symptoms.

Heff said...

Whoever said Obama turned out O.K.?

Candy Claire said...

Instead of my aunt saying "I'm going to go contemplate", she said "I'm going to go masturbate"!

Jokes were made about it years after that!

B.E. Earl said...

I don't remember you ever posting a pic of your wifey. Bruce was kinda creeping me out there.

Vinomom said...

I've never seen a pic of your wife either. That fucking post was so funny I just copied and pasted it to my friends. I would have sent them the link but inevitably they would then find my blog and I'm not ready to stop talking shit about them.

Slyde said...

zibbs: maybe its the same chick?

suzi: lol! i think continuing with this daily dose would kill me!

heff: oh boy.. here comes the political discussion...

candy: are you sure it was an accident?

earl: bruce likes to stalk me on facebook.

vino: you need to friend me on facebook to see the good pics!

sybil law said...

Where are these anatomically correct cartoons?!
Gecko. Really?!! That's hysterical!!!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Oh well. I thought that dresser drawers were also called "Chester drawers" (as opposed to chest of drawers) right up until 7th grade! :-)

Slyde said...

sybil: he was talking about a cartoon i drew about 2 months ago. its in the archives. if i wasnt so lazy id find the url for ya.

jill: i know of a few people who have made that same mistake, believe it or not.

Chris H said...

It's neat getting to read other people's 'views' of you.. and re-read some of your funnier posts... keep it up.

The Invisible Seductress said...

You're still naked in my thoughts,,, you been that way from the gecko,, I don't take it for granite.



xoxo

2abes said...

that never is not funny....

Slyde said...

chrish: i wish i could.. this shit is exhausting!

invis: i sat here trying to come up with a similar comeback for 10 minutes before i gave up. im not that smart.

abes: never

meleah rebeccah said...

OMG! That is one of the funniest "typo's" ever! And it's even funnier that she REALLY thought it was supposed to be the word Gecko!