Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Maybe He Has A Light Lunch?

As you probably heard, Country Music star/Sausage Maker Jimmy Dean died over the weekend. He was 81.

Honestly, All I know about Jimmy Dean is that a few centuries ago he wrote that song “Big Bad John”, and people down South treat his sausages like they were plasma.

Meet one such gentleman (click the audio link in the story).

Although this call to the Jimmy Dean complaint department happened over 3 years ago, it hit the interwebs big time this weekend and has caught on like wild-fire. I love it.

To set it up a bit, the attached audio clip came from when Texas-bred “Randy” finds out that the Jimmy Dean sausage company has changed the packaging on their sausages from 16 oz to 12 oz.

This call is pure gold. My favorite parts are the beginning, when this knucklehead doesn’t yet realize that he’s being recorded, and the end, when he doesn’t realize that he’s STILL being recorded.

I was about to make a quick bullet-list of everything I find side-splittingly funny about this call, but maybe it’s just better to let you be your own judge. Be warned, it’s slightly NSFW… especially his rant at the end.

All joking aside, I guess what disturbs me most about this call is the fact that this dude and his family actually eat 16 ounces of sausage, two dozen fried eggs, and a t-bone EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR BREAKFAST!!!

On a crazy day, I’ll decide to have a bagel with my orange juice.

But I guess that’s why I maintain the body of an Adonis while it’s probably a safe bet that good Ol’ Randy here has cornered the market on suspenders and stretch pants.

Seriously, what the fuck must his Cholesterol be at if he’s shoveling THAT amount of shit into his gaping maw every day?

19 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I remember hearing this call a couple of years ago. Funny stuff. And where did you find that pic of me? I look dead sexy!

Slyde said...

and less hairy than usual.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

I think the ending is the best. :-)

sybil law said...

That is fucking awesome! Never heard it before. Damn. I'm lucky if I eat cereal with bananas! Moving to Randy's house...

2abes said...

Earl, looks like you lost a few pounds...skipping the morning sausage?

Slyde said...

jill: agreed. the ending ROX!

sybil: Cereal AND bannanas! Nice breakfast, fatty!

abes: earl would NEVER skip on an offer of sausage. Yes, thats a gay joke.

Heff said...

WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE ? I LIVE IN THE SOUTH !

"I wanna eat, Goddamnit."

Hey, in Randy's defense, he IS feeding a family of 5 - that's ONLY 4.8 eggs each, LMAO !!!

The Invisible Seductress said...

This is bad for the visuals,,, really bad,,, I am glad you cleared them a bit by bringing your Adonis self into the mix...

Slyde said...

heff: that line is by FAR my absolute favorite of the entire thing.

invis: im glad to be of help. And that offer of naked tv watching is still good if your up for it...

Candy's daily Dandy said...

For reals???? some people are just so sheltered. Really.

That there's some funny shit....

terri said...

He was fairly polite until the end when it sounds like he thought he hung up, but didn't.

I'm impressed that he even bothered to call the company and lodge a complaint.

Now I can't get the image of three extra-large hillbillies out of my head. Thanks!

Mrs. Hall said...

see now, he's from the north, that way he is NOT gonna have the maple kind!!

the righteous indignation of the fatties.

always FUNNY!!

;)

Slyde said...

candy: i agree!

terri: plus one 'plump' wife!

mrs hall: i found that funny too. he seems to imply that eating jimmy dean is his birthright as a southern man..

Chris H said...

OMG at the photo.. though I think that's 'what's his face'... with a body suit on! Can't think of his name right this minute.
I don't eat breakfast... me thinks luckily!

Slyde said...

chris H: Its mike myers, playing his 'fat bastard' personality....

Cocaine Princess said...

I always thought the singer and the breakfast guy Jimmy Dean were 2separate people.

His instant heat up sausage and egg breakies are delish.

Eggs and bacon every single day...sheesh! I would love to eat eggs every single day but the cholesterol in eggs is too much.

Great picture but at the same time, eww!

Cocaine Princess said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nej said...

I've apparently been living under a rock for...well...my entire life. I didn't know that the sausage king was a musician (or the musician was a sausage king). Hmph.

Bruce said...

This would have been a lot funnier, if it hadn't reminded me of all the assholes that called up to complain when I worked at the Arizona Dept. of Insurnace back in the 90s. If I could have recorded some of those phone calls, I could post them and they would have made this guy sound like Mother Theresa preaching a sermon. (shudder), I don't miss that job at all.