Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Surviving Survivor

If you’ve come here for any length of time, you know that I have an obsession with the reality TV show Survivor.

A few years ago, I would put up a blog post every week giving my thoughts on each episode. Most of you thought that those posts sucked balls, seeing how almost none of you watched it with me.

Never one to not give the people what they DON’T want, I stopped writing about Survivor.

But, I never stopped watching.

This past Sunday ended with what was, without question, the best season of Survivor yet. It was SO damn good, that I have been busting at the seams all season, desperately wanting to discuss it.

After watching the finale this weekend, I … finally…. can’t…… contain…. myself… any… longer……

HOLY SHIT DID THIS SEASON ROCK OR WHAT?????????????????????????????????

I’m not going to go into a recap of the season, since you have either watched it along with me and know it all already, or you didn’t watch it or could care less, but this current season, which pitted 10 past all-star Survivors who played in the past as noble “heroes” and pitted them against 10 past players who played as ruthless “villains” was captivating television.

Also without question, was just how much fun it was to watch Russell (pictured above) outplay, connive, threaten, and backstab his way to his second consecutive final tribal council. He truly is the epitome of someone you just LOVE to hate, and easily the star of this season.

Quite simply, the game of Survivor was just not ready for a player the likes of Russell. The game just can’t handle him. He is a genius strategist, and great fun to watch, but his epic downfall season after season is that he just can’t seem to understand that getting to the end is only HALF of the game. He is so brutal in his dealings with the other players, that it is AMAZING to me how he sits open-mouthed in disbelief each season that he is so hated that NO ONE votes for him to get the title of Sole Survivor. He is a man destined to forever come in second.

I could go on and on about how much fun it was to watch Russell continue to find Idols, or Parvati’s unbelievably ballsy late game move of giving out 2 Immunity idols during 1 tribal council to begin the Heroes' descent, or J.T.’s ridiculously trusting move of handing over an idol to his greatest enemy, but as I said, if you haven’t been watching it all season, it’s all lost on you anyway.

But this season has gotten me all juiced to ONCE AGAIN try out to be on the show.

As some of you might know, I have applied to be on the show 2 different times, and I got kinda far along in the recruitment process one of those times.

This is my time. I can feel it. The third time will be the charm.

Now I just need to come up with an idea I can realistically do for my audition tape.

Any ideas?

28 comments:

Marie said...

I think I was the only person heart-broken that Russell didn't win. I can honestly say that if I was on the jury, that I would have voted for him. Even if he had a hand in voting me out. He plays a fantastice game! If you are taken by him then that is YOUR BAD. He outplayed you plain and simple. My father-in-law half jokingly threatened to kick me out of his living room over this but that is how I feel. Call me crazy but he will forever be SOLE SURVIVOR.

I think it would rock jockey socks if you were on survivor.

badgerdaddy said...

A self-fisting film would go down well with the judges, I think.

Bruce said...

I agree, this may be your time...........to be the FIRST one voted off the island.......(that would just suck).

This reminds me that I need to apply for another round of "The Amazing Race"....my only obessesion left on television.

Heff said...

I've NEVER watched one episode, but I must admit - the guy pictured has GREAT Fashion sense. We must shop at the same muscle shirt outlets....

Shania said...

Completely agree! Russell should have won both times. I can,t believe bawl baby Rob wouldn't shake his hand. Although I did get sad face when my cute widdle JT got voted out.

Naked bungee off liberty's torch for your video.

The Invisible Seductress said...

yes, this was the best F'n one!! I sat looking around when Parvarti played 2 idols (neither on her) BRILLIANT!!! My plant and I were gasping and high leafing one another!! I hope you do get on! How fantastic would that be!!!!

It is good that Russell won fan fave. He deserved that...but...he did not outwit OR outplay in this game because he was not playing the right game. He was, as Boston Rob put it, playing a different game.
He would always make it to the top three because he would not ever take any votes away from the others. It would be stupid NOT to take him there..I'll shut up now, possibly two paragraphs too late..*shrugs*

The Invisible Seductress said...

..Had to come back and reiterate that I DO think R was an awesome player..He just never got a HUGE part of the game..To win..you have to know the WHOLE game...

Mrs. Hall said...

hm. your liking of this show is like your liking of the games you play for 14 hours straight. you have a need to strategize when game playing.

SO-most audition tapes will be of people talking and being boring and such.

YOU can be different because YOU are! I suggest doing a tape like the last one, only not using Blair Witch Project but wait . . wait for it . . .

SAW!

because the creepy dude comes up with gadgets that people have to get out of to survive. this represents two aspect of survivor. survival wilst game playing.

run with this idea and produce yourself an audition tape.

GO SLYDE!!!

and jebus. Russel is nard isn't he? (i've only read interviews but god what a DUMBASS!)

sybil law said...

Sucks, but because I don't watch the show at all, I can't even remotely guess what the audition tapes usually consist of...

ChrisM said...

There is a reason why Russell made it to the finals each season. No one wanted to vote him off because they knew he was so hated that everyone wanted to be sitting next to him at the end. It's easy to say that if you were there you would have voted for Russell. I think most people who would have voted for Russell would have felt differently if they were there and actually had to deal with him.
If Russell plays again and plays the same way, he will again make it to the end, because everyone knows no one would vote him the money.

mo.stoneskin said...

Didn't watch it, couldn't care less, and I'm especially not bothered given the fact that I've had hiccups for about one hour nonstop. Still, I'm looking forward to your audition tape.

Nat said...

I used to be obsessed with Survivor too (the US series one and two screened when I still lived in South Africa).

Kaylen said...

I LOVED this season!! It had some really great people.
I never ever want to see Danielle again though. Or Courtney.
Ever. They are useless to me (and Survivor).

I loved Boston Rob back in the day, but he's def gone soft since getting married. I'm over him now.

Russell is really smart and would definitely win if the game was about how to get rid of people on the island. His game needs to be: how to get rid of people but make them like you while doing it.

Can't wait to see your audition tape. I think you should have clips of you reenacting classic scenes from other survivor episodes--playing all the characters yourself! FUN! (make sure to remember my name when you get selected via this awesome video audition!)

B.E. Earl said...

I think I've said it before, but I think you should do a video kind of like the video they presented to Jerry Maguire at his bachelor party. You talking about how great you are with quick cuts to a bunch of people talking about what an asshole you are. It's funny (because it's true) and it will show the game runners that you have a bunch of followers who will watch the show because you are on it.

Whaddya think?

Chris H said...

I did not read this post... I am still watching Survivor, I don't want to know who won.
I hope it Wasn't Russell!!!

vixen kitten said...

I DETEST Russell. I didn't think it was possible to hate anyone more than I hate Jesse Jackson, and then Russell came along.

For your audition tape, I think you should hunt the little bald, toothless, spineless, nutless wonder down and castrate him on film. I'm sure Mark Burnett would approve your audition application in a heartbeat!

Sheesh. Did I mention I can't stand the little fuck and his misplaced arrogance?

xoxo
~vk~

Marlene said...

I'll watch for you on an upcoming Survivor series. Hopefully by then my freaking useless no good for tittyballs cable provider will be GONE and I will be watching via satellite. Grrrr. Bah . Humbug.

Wishing on a star said...

Russell was robbed!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

This WAS a great season. I figured Parvati would win, but satisfied by the outcome anyway.

latindog said...

If you take Earl's idea, I would be happy to contribute some negative remarks about your character to the video. I could also add some negative remarks about your style, looks, attitude, whatever it takes.

I fail to see Russell's genius as well. He's above average as a strategist but has an enormous blindspot that has apparently proven to be his undoing twice. He is fun to hate though.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

That guys look evil...

You should do a Richard Hatch parody...nakkeddd

Kate said...

That was an awesome season! I want you on that show Slyde!

Cocaine Princess said...

"outplay, connive, threaten, and backstab"

I think that's what they need to change the title of the show too rather than Survivor. That is one game show where the only way to survive is to outplay, connive, threaten and backstab. Really there's no other way.

I use to weekly recaps on Hell's Kitchen. I love that show. The feedback was not good so I stopped.

Mrs. Hall said...

My review of Kick Ass is up!

YAY!!!

http://misseshall.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-watched-kick-ass-and-slyde-asked-me.html

Tamara said...

I still don't get it. But even though I haven't a clue what you're on about, I love the fact that you get so passionate about it all ;-)

meleah rebeccah said...

Yeah, the third time is ALWAYS the charm! I am really hoping YOU actually get ON THE SHOW!

*fingers crossed*

intomystic said...

I watched the first season and just never got hooked on any of the others. But I would absolutely watch if YOU were on it!

elizabeth said...

Jeez. Holy pressure - I actually have a freakin fantastic idea buddy but I actually don't want to leave it here because someone will steal it. I'm actually dead serious. Not sure how to get the idea to you though. You let me know - I can email you.

But if it gets you in - I have to be the person you bring on to visit with you on the family and friends thing... or at least tell the world how awesome I am... and maybe forgive me for my long absence from blogland while youre at it....