Tuesday, March 02, 2010

You know what drives me crazy?

Of course you don’t… I haven’t told you yet.

Well here it comes…..

Will you fellow bloggers out there, please, PLEASE, for the love of all that’s Holy STOP HAVING MUSIC PLAY WHEN I GO TO YOUR SITE?

Don’t you realize that I, like 90 percent of the rest of you, do our blog reading DURING WORK HOURS?

Nothing puts a good buzzkill on my lazy, leisurely afternoon of catching up on your blogs when I SHOULD be working, than when I click on a site and suddenly hear MY HUMPS blasting over my pc speakers.

Seriously, everyone within earshot hears it. And if by chance it happens as the boss is walking by, I am basically down to three options:

1) Admit that I was fucking around on company time.
2) Pretend that listening to Gloria Gainer’s "I Will Survive" really revs me up and motivates me to finish those quarterly TPS reports!
3) Before he can ask me about it, take the offensive and stab him in the heart with my “#1 Dad” pen.

Those are three pretty shitty options. One of them will get me fired, another will make me look like a tool, and the last one gets me 10-20 at Ryker’s Island.

If pressed, I’d probably have to be forced to go with option 3. I NEED my job, and while killing my boss would undoubtably get me banned from the company Christmas party, I’d be given a clean slate after I got out of prison in 20 years, but if I admitted to listening to some of the ridiculously effeminate crap some of you guys have playing on your sites, I’d NEVER be able to live that shit down.

33 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

I agree. Automatic music on a blog is even worse than advertisements.

Ads on a personal blog? WTF is THAT about?

Kirsty said...

That's...erm... probably the best label ever. This post also reminded me of how my sisters and I like to watch Law and Order when we're all home and guess how many years at Rykers the perp (that's what they call the killer on the street... where I'm from... ahem) will get at the end of the show. Shazam! You're definitely looking at 15 to life, and there's no hope of getting it down to Man One unless you offer to help them figure out how Fergie managed to get through so much meth...

Kirsty said...

P.S Saw Invictus. Found it hella cheesy.

2abes said...

sometimes its tough sneaking around on the work clock. if you employer had it together, they would block blogs.

Heff said...

Lol !! I agree totally. The first thing I look for on those type of blogs is the "pause" button.

Slyde said...

earl: hey now! i've made about 60 bucks so far, so eat me!

kirsty: thats a shame about invictus.. i wanted to see it.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

YA! Zactly what you said.

'Cept I'm my own boss, but even the crap music on some people's blog's offends me.

Feg-a-licious is one of my personal faves...

mo.stoneskin said...

I keep my sound muted at all times *just in case*. But it would give me some amusement to get your goat by pumping out some tunes next time you visit.

Bwahahaha.

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

for once i agree. i am very sensitive towards noise-it gets me all twitchy and not in a good way and BLARING CRAP ON YOUR SITE WILL MAKE ME NOT VISIT YOU.

so. 60 dollars eh?

really?

my readership has picked up a bit. maybe i give it a try? ;)

The Invisible Seductress said...

Just leaving a comment to thrill you. That's all,, I'm a giver..

Nat said...

Hahaha! This made me laugh out VERY loud, during work....luckily I work from home, so unless my boss has my home bugged, I won't have to explain why I find work so entertaining ;-)

Actually, writing about anal fissures and other lovely stuff does have its funny moments...

meleah rebeccah said...

that's why I always have my speakers and computer on MUTE when I visit other peoples blogs. AND its why I do NOT have any music on my own blog!

Steph said...

Totally agree. As a web designer, I won't even put music on a client's site. I refuse.

Shania said...

Apparently, I've been hanging out in the good neighborhoods. I've never had music play when I click through to someone's blog. But I can assure you it would be a way to make me back out very quickly.

badgerdaddy said...

Dammit, that wouldn;t have even been in my top 20 of things that drive you crazy. First guess would have been other men's cocks, drive you crazy in a good way.

Slyde said...

badger: holy shit that made me laugh.

its funny cause its true...


wait, what?

Bruce said...

I can't stand it, when I am on a list of links (like blogs) and I right click the ones I want to view and open them up in tabs on the browser. (I am so high-techie in this way).....and then the music starts.....and I have to go through each tab to try and figure what neophyte put up the tunes on their site.

If you want to broadcast what music you are listening to....go to Pandora, create your own streaming radio station and then post the Java applet on your blog. That we can see what you are jamming to, without haveing it thrust upon us.

Brittany said...

Agreed.

The reason I hate it is that I have my own music playing when I'm reading, and when I click on a link, and their crap starts playing, it interferes with my zone.. and that is NOT okay!. :)

blondie1 said...

AND ya know what from way OVER in New Zealand we have the same supermarket operators TOO!!!! (who would have thought!)

sybil law said...

Music autoplaying on a blog is super lame.
Are you sure you don't like, "My Humps"?
Seriously - what's worse is that most of the time, it's shitty music, and then I lose respect for the fucker who listens to it.

honeywine said...

You know, you will survive. :D

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Save the music shit for your MySpace page!! I totally agree with you here!

vinomom said...

So yeah, music playing on your blog? I TOTALLY WISH I KNEW HOW TO DO THAT! Mostly to annoy you.

Actually I don't think I read any blogs that play music? Maybe you just read lame blogs.

:)

Tamara said...

Gives me such a fright everytime I forget to mute my speakers and end up listening to Kelly Clarkson or some such teeny bopper nonsense. I'm quite used to voices in my head, but prefer not to be subjected to a new addition to the crowd of them without my consent.

Faiqa said...

Agreed. Can you talk about "partial feeds" next? I hate those and have considered ranting on my blog about them. But I didn't want to come off as a bitch. You, on the other hand, seem to have no problem with that, so would you oblige me? :)

Kirsty said...

P.P.S Here's my review http://kirstyroad.blogspot.com/2010/03/review-invictus-2009.html

B.E. Earl said...

@Faiqa - see that right there is why you shouldn't take any time away from blogging. Ha!

terri said...

Couldn't agree more! Get rid of the music and all the clutter and blinky and animated stuff that makes the page slow to load. I just want to read... maybe see a few pictures. That's all.

Anonymous said...

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don't give up and keep penning for the reason that it simply that is worth to read it.
excited to find out alot more of your current content, stunning day :)

an african down under said...

hear hear!

B.E. Earl said...

I agree with Anonymous. Hallelujah!

Slyde said...

earl: i deleted the spam post.

now your reply looks stupid.

hardy har har!

Nej said...

You're going to make it a challenge now....what music can they play to make you look to worst? :-)

I always have my sound muted at work...for just this very reason. Blogs aren't as bad...but when I'm shopping for a specific item...and the manufacturers website has music playing...ugh!!!!