Tuesday, February 16, 2010

On Being Prolific

Someone told me the other day that I should post here more often.

Sorry folks, I’d love to oblige, but that just ain’t gonna happen.

I long ago came to the conclusion that I was only ever going to post somthing on here only if it was something that I myself wouldn’t mind re-reading.

That pretty much means lots of stories about wee-wee’s and boobies, but hey, if you visit here more than once, then you already know what you’re getting yourself into.

Seriously, I can’t tell you guys how many posts I’ve written, and before I hit “Publish”, I took a look at what I’ve created and said to myself, “Sexy self, this is some boring shit. Who could possibly care enough to read through this drivel?”

When I write something about MYSELF, and re-reading it bores even ME to tears, then I like to think that in the past I have done the responsible thing and just scrapped the whole post.

Being a world-class cyber-celebrity like I am, I often just randomly jaunt through the blogosphere checking out new blogs that I stumble across.

You cannot freaking IMAGINE how many of them suck donkey bits.

Seriously… it’s pretty sad. Just because you OWN a blog, doesn’t mean you have to tell me every mundane part of your life. Too many people out there don’t understand the purpose of having a blog. They end up using it as their personal Twitter account, and it bores the rest of us to tears.

Here’s a good rule of thumb: If you just wrote a post about what you had for dinner, or how you discovered you were low on gas after taking little Cindy to daycare today, just save the world from reading your spam and hit “Delete”.

Let me say right now that I’m not speaking about any of the blogs on my blogroll to the right. I wouldn’t put them up there if I thought they sucked. On the contrary, each one of those puppies has gotten the “Slydesblog Seal of Approval”.

As for Slydesblog, through trial and error, I have discovered that I can usually spit out two articles a week. Three if I push it.

More than that and you’ll be forced to read about me re-arranging my underwear drawer. Who on Earth could possibly care about something like that?

(Thongs on the right, crotchless on the left, by the way).

34 comments:

Brittany said...

I think this is a good piece of advice! :) I hope to have no mundain dribble in my future posts! :)

Good rule of thumb!

Susan Higgins said...

Slyde... you make me laugh, it's what keeps me coming back. I adore the mini-you stories. I'm still laughing over the "you hurt my penis."

GiGi said...

Sometimes if I get a good idea, but don't have the time - I put the title into a 'draft' blog, and come back to it later. My mind can only hold so much information these days, mostly this week my mind is focused on how in the HELL so many socks go MIA in this house, and *why* they all look exactly the same. Important stuff, you know. :)

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

so, do i get the slyde's blog seal of a approval?

i think i do!!

cheers!!

Steph said...

Good rule of thumb, that. The worst posts in the world are those that say, "Sorry, I don't have anything to write about, but..."

That shit pisses me off.

Nat said...

Oooops! I committed the cardinal sin of writing about my dinner (indeed several dinners) in my last post...

sybil law said...

Sooo... I bore you, right? You were talking about me, right?!
Honestly, I bore myself. I can't believe people read any of my drivel!!
You, sexy man, make me laugh consistently.
Sometimes it's AT you, but what the hey.
:)

B.E. Earl said...

You know what I love about this post? It's about the 10th time that you've told us that you only have the energy/material/time/talent to post around twice a week. So that's about 10 times that you basically posted nothing at all, but decided to call it a post since you started this blog. Kinda ironic, right?

Here's the deal...no one is complaining that you don't post often enough. And it's posts like this that make feel that you post a little too often. Get it?

But I'm sure all of your readers appreciate you telling them what is and what is not okay to post on their own blogs. That was mighty white of you.

(This was so much fun! Thanks!)

Slyde said...

You're right Earl. I could just post 4-5 times a week about how im in awe of real men who play sports, but i dont want to steal your gig.

If you even read it, the POINT of my post was to answer the question someone had asked about why i dont post more often, but i guess you missed and went off into daydream mode after i mentioned my crotchless underwear....

Shania said...

Can you and Earl start a blog where you just post snippets of your bromance? I would sit eagerly by the computer hitting refresh constantly. srsly. You remind me of House and Wilson. (that's a good thing)

Bruce said...

Quality over quantity....I always say....whichi s why I am down to about 4 posts a month......damn...Quality is HARD!

Chris H said...

I am quaking in me boots!
My blog is as boring as shit more often that not... I have even shown me new knickers for the world to see! *sigh*
Ummmm... and I'm bloody sure I have even shown my TIDY linen cupboards too!
Fucked if I know why anyone reads my blog... if you are right and we shouldn't blog about friggin mundane, boring shit!
Funnily enough, hundreds do read my drivel, EVERY DAY... weirder things must happen?
YOu have to blog when you want, on whatever you want eh? If we worried about the content for our 'readers' we should certainly hit 'DELETE' .... or they could just NOT READ it eh?

And hell! You have crotchless underwear! DO SHOW!!!!

Chris H said...

OH and when I actually do have nothing to blog about, I say so, and tell my 'readers' to piss off and find something more interesting to read! I NICE like that!

Chris H said...

AND because I'm like... 6 comments behind your brofriend Earl... I shall comment again just for the hell of it!

vinomom said...

I don't post daily for pretty much the same reason. I just don't have that much entertaining shit to say.

Tamara said...

Did you repost this? Coz I'm sure I've heard it here before. But then again, as Earl says, you do go on and on about how you don't have time to go on and on.

That last line sounds like a porno remake of Stuck in the Middle with You.

Kate said...

I'll second Shania's comment!

I started my blog for me to muse... but then felt the "pressure" when I started reading other people's blogs.. so, i started a private online journal just for my super mundane personal crap.

Writing humorous posts does not come easy to me, but I am inspired by your posts, funny boy. Plus, I don't have the time to read people's blogs everyday, so I for one am relieved that you don't post that often! Gotta go..

Suzi Q said...

Love the underwear organization!

badgerdaddy said...

Slyde.... Earl's right, you;ve posted this a ton of times. So next time someone asks, either think 'WWBDD?' (answer: tell them to go and fuck themselves') or send them a link to an older version of this same script... Now, back to the wee-wees and hoo-has please.

Anonymous said...

After reading you site, Your site is very useful for me .I bookmarked your site!

B.E. Earl said...

See? Badgerdaddy agrees. ;)

terri said...

Seeing as how I wrote about over-sleeping today, I had to double check to make sure I was actually on your blogroll. Whew! I'm there.

2abes said...

Why is Earl so critical of your blog? He should be more supportive. Like an athletic supporter but blog supporter.

Kimberly said...

Really? You are making us beg you? Really?

Dr Zibbs said...

HAHHAHA! I just lost it when I clicked on the word "Who". HAHAHA

Real Live Lesbian said...

Amen, brother!

::just noticed that I'm not over there on the right::

Nej said...

And the edible ones? Where are they?

meleah rebeccah said...

"If you just wrote a post about what you had for dinner, or how you discovered you were low on gas after taking little Cindy to daycare today, just save the world from reading your spam and hit “Delete”.

well, I agree with you. If its written that way It Will Be Boring.

However, I learned a long time ago, it's NEVER the story you tell. Its HOW you tell the story.

I've read some VERY FUNNY blogs that include stories about running out of gas while taking a child to day care! But THE WAY IT WAS WRITTEN was hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)

Faiqa said...

OK, the comment before mine? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

First, I scrolled up to see these so called blogs on your blog roll and I do not see a blog roll. You better not be talking about me.

Second, I agree completely. I have a few blogger buddies that insist on posting every.single.day. While I respect that, I don't have anything that important to say every day and I don't have the time to blog every.single.day.

mo.stoneskin said...

You should publish a donkey-bit-sucking wall of shame.

Meghan said...

You love my mundane dribble, admit it almost as much as I love when you post about your underwear.

Heff said...

I agree (about the posts). I actually bring up how pointless blogging is in general in MY next post, lol !!!

Back Up 02/24/2010, and I DON'T talk about my dinner or my underwear, well, not my dinner anyway...

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

Oh this was good! My friend and I were just discussing the other day how crazy it was that ppl past every part of their day and how they think/feel to facebook. She was like, how are we supposed to ask people how they're doing if we already know? lmao.