Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Are You Kidding Me?


So, apparently my wife thinks I’m a pedophile.

Let’s back up.

I’ve mentioned a few times how I am hooked on the reality show “High School Reunion”. They take a dozen people from a high school senior class from 20 years ago, throw them in a house in Hawaii for 3 weeks, and watch the drama ensue. Its true train-wreck TV, and I love it. I never miss an episode.

So 2 weeks ago, Friz and I were watching something on television when my DVR put up a pop-up message on the screen to announce that it was going to begin taping High School Reunion in 1 minute.

Friz looked at me, and said with a perplexed face:

“Why is THAT recording?”

“Why? Because I like it, that’s why.”

“You enjoy watching that?”

“Yes, I do. What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing, I guess. Watch whatever you want.”

I thought that the conversation was passing strange, but quickly forgot about it.

Cut to last week, when I’m laying on the couch watching the latest episode of HSR, when Friz came home from work.

“What are you watching?”

“High School Reunion”

“Again? Really?”

“Yeah, again, really. What’s your problem with this show?”

“ ‘I’ don’t have a problem.”

“Well, ‘I’ don’t either.”

“Whatever.”

Now, that conversation of course made me remember the previous week’s conversation. I sat there trying to figure out just that the Hell kind of problem Friz had with this damn show. It’s not like the show is all about setting homeless people on fire or anything (Note to self: pitch show to NBC called ‘Homeless BBQ’).

So, this past weekend, I was sitting down and enjoying the latest episode of High School Reunion, when Friz came home from wherever the Hell she goes to spend all my money.

“What are you watching?”

“High School Reunion”

“Again! What’s your problem?”

“My problem? What’s YOUR problem with this show?”

“My problem is that I don’t understand why you keep watching this show over and over again.”

“Over and over? What are you talking about? There’s a new episode every week.”

“New episode? No there’s not. It’s the same thing over and over again”.

“Over and over….?”

And that’s when it hit me.

She was confusing ‘High School Reunion’ with ‘High School Musical’.

My wife, who I’ve known for 15 years and is supposed to know me better than anyone else, ACTUALLY FUCKING BELIEVED that for the past month, I have been sitting home alone in the dark, watching a bunch of 13 year-old kids prance around singing the same stupid songs about high school, week after week. That I was just recording the same kiddie show, over and over again.

If true, that would make ME more than a little creepy. And quite frankly, NOW I’m more than a little creeped out thinking that SHE thought I’d be actually into watching that shit over and over.

It’s almost enough to make me want to throw out my Vanessa Hudgens lunchbox.

Almost.

32 comments:

Candy's daily Dandy said...

OMG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

THAT was so beautiful...

The lunchbox line was pretty good too.

Nat said...

Hilarious! However, you do seem to have the storyline of "High School Musical" down to a tee...."13 year olds singing the same songs about high school"...are you sure you haven't been watching that too on the sly?

Hang on, now I sound like I've been watching HSM regularly too...

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

SO FUNNY I PEED A LITTLE!!

oh my god, so effing funny!!!

perv!

meleah rebeccah said...

Ahahahaha AHHAHAHHAhaha HAhahahaha

I think its very funny your wife thought you were watching High school Musical over & over!

AHAHAHHAHhahahahahahah

Susan Higgins said...

Made me laugh so hard that I cried... thank you. Very funny post today Slyde.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

If I thought the Evil Twin was watching HSM over and over, I'd be wondering why, too! ROFL!!

Heff said...

I'm TERRIBLY concerned about your television viewing habits.

mo.stoneskin said...

Now that's all cleared up you should be able to get away with watching High School Musical like we know you want to.

B.E. Earl said...

She DOES know you better than anyone else.

That's why she thought it was the musical with the teenagers. You probably do the same switcheroo with "Glee", ya pervert!

2abes said...

so really how many times a month do you watch that show? This sounds more like a confession

Christine said...

LOL! That's like realizing that you've been singing the wrong words in a song for years!

Karen said...

I love this. LOL. I confuse things all the time so I understand your wife.

And by the way, High School Musical rocks.

Secretia said...

Relax a little, all women are suspicious of their men.

Secretia

sybil law said...

Oh my God. That is hysterical!!!
Pedo.
Also, "Homeless BBQ" sounds like a winner!!

Bruce said...

I already pitched 'Transient Ignitor" to Mike Ovits. If you try and submit "Homeless BBQ" I will scream plagerism.......AGAIN.

.........when Friz came home from wherever the Hell she goes to spend all my money. [Too Funny]

terri said...

You're good! LOL!

I don't know though. That's kind of how communication goes in my house. I think it's just the way it is between men and women.

Tamara said...

Classic. Especially your last line. And the tag.

Cuz said...

There is nothing wrong with watching High School Musical over & over. Zac is so dreamy. LOL

Kristen said...

Laughed so hard I cried...awesome.

Cocaine Princess said...

This was so funny!

Cocaine Princess said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Real Live Lesbian said...

I'm kinda excited about Homeless BBQ. Although, I'd never let anyone catch me watching it...

Kimberly said...

So weird...I used Zac Efron for Man Candy Monday this week.

Chris H said...

LOL... the poor woman must have been sooooo worried about you!
Total crack up that was.

Kaylen said...

Ha - I didn't know there was a show either. You should never talk about this show in public. People will get the wrong idea...

mo.stoneskin said...

By the way, I NEED your creative genius. Pop over and show the rest of us how it is done.

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

I've never seen high school musical, and this show you talk of, I've never seen it either. But I love train-wreck TV! Funny that she didn't catch the difference.

Faiqa said...

I never write this in comments, but, OMFGLOL!! That was seriously funny.

And, I think you should pitch the Homeless BBQ to FOX. Better chance of it them picking it up. Just saying...

Vinomom said...

I'm sorry that is just too fucking hilarious. Although the pic of HSM at the top gave it away. hehe - just giggled to myself a bit again. I'd definitely be concerned if I thought my hubby was watching HSM over and over! (although there are 3 of them)

Anonymous said...

After reading you site, Your site is very useful for me .I bookmarked your site!

Nej said...

Fess up, you ARE watching HSM when she's not around...but you're using HSR as a cover in case she catches you. It's ok, you can tell us. :-)

tour and travel said...

This was so funny!