Thursday, January 07, 2010

When Librarians Attack!

So, I got into a fight with a librarian last night.

I’ve always been a pretty avid reader, but as some of you might remember, I don’t actually READ books anymore. For the past 5 years or so, I have preferred to listen to my books on audio CD.

I really enjoy it. I load the book up onto my iPod, and then I can “read” my book whenever/wherever I want. Driving to work, while I’m in the gym, wherever.

Anyway, I usually get my books from the local library. Last week, I was stoked to find out that they had a new book I had been waiting quite a while to read, the latest in Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series, “The Gathering Storm”. I quickly rented it out, and brought it home.

Once I got home, I started loading the CD’s (there are 24 of them.. these are BIG books) into my PC. Everything was going all ducky until I happened to look at the box cover, and noticed a little sticker that proclaimed that there should be 26, not 24, CDs in the box.

I only HAD 24 CDs. I quickly listened to the end of the 24th disc, in the hopes that the sticker was mislabeled, but no dice there…. The 24th CD concluded in the middle of a chapter.

Now, I COULD have just brought the discs back to the library, thrown them up on the “Returns” pile, and walk away, but when I got there, I decided to be a good citizen and alerted one of the staff to the problem.

She left for a second, and when she returned, she told me: “I’m sorry, but you are libel for the lost material”

“Excuse me?”

“When we check out any audio CDs, we always check to make sure that the correct number of CDs are in the case before we loan it out.”

“Well, that obviously isn’t the case this time. I literally came home, opened the case, and saw that 2 discs were missing”

“But as I said, we always check the discs”

“Then SOMEONE back there needs to stop counting on their fingers and toes, because SOMEONE made a mistake this time.”

That probably wasn’t the smartest thing to say, but I was getting mad. These damn things cost about $40 a piece. There was NO WAY I was paying for this.

“Well, I can’t check this in. It’s defective. You will need to speak to the manager who comes in tomorrow”

So, I huffed and I puffed, and I got the manager’s name. I called her first thing this morning.

“I’m sorry sir, but I checked our records, and you were the FIRST person to take out this collection.”

“I don’t care if that’s MY damn VOICE on the recording! I never RECEIVED the 2 missing CD’s."

“Well, I will speak to the technician who actually checked you out and call you back.”

Then she hung up.

I thought, “What the Hell good is THAT going to do?”

True to her word, I got a call back 5 minutes later.

“I spoke to the technician, and what we feel now is that we never received the missing discs from the manufacturer. We will contact them about them. We can consider this matter closed.”

I am absolutely dumbstruck. What the Hell could have POSSIBLY taken place in that conversation with the technician to make the manager change her tune?

“Hey technician, do you remember checking out this book last week?”

“Sure I do!”

“And did you remember to check how many discs were in the case when you checked it out?”

“I sure as FUCK did!”

“And what did you see?”

“I saw that the case was missing 2 discs, but I said ‘Fuck it’ and gave it to the poor jackass anyway. I thought it would be funny”

“Good job, technician!”

Anyway, I’m happy to not owe the library anything, but this whole thing really ticked me off.

P.S. Unfortunately, the librarian I spoke with did NOT look like the one in the banner picture. If she did, I probably would have just paid the money. I maybe would have even paid extra for a lap dance.


Real Live Lesbian said...

I'd kinda like to undo her bun. ;)

Sorry about the hassle. Here's wishing you a VERY hot librarian next time!

Verdant Earl said...

I can't believe that they call the folks who check your material out and in technicians. Really? I just usually call them Skippy or something.

i am the diva said...

wow, that's a pretty sucky event! glad it's all sorted though... kinda thinking about going to the library now for some books on CD... except that it's -37 degrees C here (which is like -34.6 F).

Susan Higgins said...

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall and witnessed that whole scene.

Did you know that if you get yourself a Kindle, you can download books FOR FREE and legally? I did it this morning while waiting in the doctor's office with my mom... amazing gadget. It even can read the books to you.

Brittany said...

Pretty sure I would have been as mad as you!

The other day I went to the store to buy Cranium. They had a whole row of them in front of a sign that said 10.95. So when they rang it up, and it came to 25 dollars I was like.. "No ma'm!"

They made ME (yes me) run back twice and check! Here they had a WHOLE row in the wrong section. I got slightly lippy and told them that was VERY decieving, and they should probably have someone go back and move it, unless they wanted ME to go back a THIRD time and move it for them! She just looked at me, and changed the price to 10.95! Damn right!

:) sometimes you have to give a little "tude" to get shit done!

2abes said...

So what are you doing with the 2 disks you stole? BTW, I think the whole hot libraian story is a myth. Has anyone actually ever seen a really hot librarian. I'm not talking about the college age part timers, but the real mccoy. Maybe it can be settled on a segment of mythbusters.

2abes said...

So what are you doing with the 2 disks you stole? BTW, I think the whole hot libraian story is a myth. Has anyone actually ever seen a really hot librarian. I'm not talking about the college age part timers, but the real mccoy. Maybe it can be settled on a segment of mythbusters.

Nej said...

I check out audio books from the library all the time. I'm horribly sick of Omaha radio these days...and listen to books on my way to and from work.

I recently returned one after only listening to 2 discs. The third disc skipped like no one's business...and the 4th was just as bad. When I turned it in, I told them that 3rd and 4th disc must be scratched, because they skip.

The guy behind the counter, sighed...checked the book back in...and put it on the cart...with the other books for placement back out in the racks.

I asked him what he was going to do with the discs, and how they fix them (knowing full well he was going to ignore what I had told him).

He sighed (again), pulled it back out of the stack, put it under the counter, and told me that they'd repair it. Then turned around to do something else with his back to me.

Nice guy, eh?

Shelley said...

Love this story... happened upon your blog quite by accident but glad I found this post. thanks for the laff

Bruce Johnson said...

This really is odd. Usually all the defective products on the entire planet are shipped to Arizona where we just have to deal with it! I don't recall ever picking up a library tape, used care, laundry or cell phone that worked properly the first time. So this was obviously a mistake on someones part. That Audio CD should have been shipped out west. There is probably some lucky sap here in Phoenix that actually got what they paid for by mistake and thinks they won the lottery.

Mrs. Hall said...

funny stuff.

you seem so riled up by it. i mean, maybe the librarian and the tech realized that if you were going to keep the discs, you would have kept all of them, not just two. so they decided you weren't lying. huh. well.


and is there naughty parts cause good lord man. bahh!

ok good. carry on . . ;)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

When my son was little we had checked out a book that had a page missing, so we couldn't read the whole story. I took it back, told the librarian and they gave me the 3rd degree too, as if myself of my son had ripped the page. I said, "I keep all his library books on a high shelf where he cannot reach it and I'm always with him, because I have to read the book." They finally let it drop, but sheesh!!! What an ordeal!

Unknown said...

OH. MY. GOD that was freaking hilarious!!! I especially like "I sure as fuck did!" LOL LOL LOL

You kill me you little hottie you.

sybil law said...

That would make me really, really stabby.
Glad you didn't have to pay - too bad about the nonsexy librarian!

Dr Zibbs said...

Years ago I used to go out with a chick that was so smokin' hot but she was the total librarian looking chick like above.

Just wanted you to know that.

Seriously. She was super hot.

Anonymous said...

That was good. I love the imaginary conversation that ensued. I can't believe you find time to listen to anything that has 26 friggin discs though!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

If that were the case then she would have been not just a bitch but a sexy bitch.

mo.stoneskin said...

You have to admit, it was a funny prank, but...

*holds head in shame*

I won't pull it on you anymore. Anyway, gotta run, some sucker is about to check out a new DVD. I'm just gonna scratch the disc with my keys...

meleah rebeccah said...

so...wait...are they going to send you the TWO missing disks?

terri said...

So they didn't even bother to apologize for accusing you? Or thank you for alerting them to the problem? Jerks.

Faiqa said...

A librarian was rude, surly and completely clueless? REALLY? I find that so incredibly hard to believe. I mean, sitting in the library all day counting the dimes from people's late fees? I ask you, what is NOT absolutely fucking joyous about that job?

I once heard that if you refuse to pay them, they kidnap you in your sleep and worship you in a bizarre night ritual at the altar of Dewey Decimal. But you have to be a virgin. So, you're fine. I think.

latindog said...

A lot of librarian hate in this forum...

My wife would not approve.

Just telling it like it is said...

Sorry sly it has been my experience that librarians have a corn cob up their butt...or maybe even a light bulb
darn girl

Tamara said...

I had something smart to say, but I'm so busy laughing at Faiqa's comment that I've forgotten now.

Our school librarian kicked me out for hugging a friend saying she wouldn't have any "of that disgusting nonsense" in HER library. I should've started a campaign - "Have you hugged your librarian today?" These ideas always come to me too late ;-)