I really have nothing much to talk about today, but I need to move that last post down the page a bit so its not smacking me in the face every time I come here, so I figured I’d recount a story from my not too distant past.
Keep in mind before you read this, I work as an I.T. professional, as do the rest of the people I work with. The point I’m trying to make before you read the story below is that EVERYONE I WORK WITH IS SUPPOSED TO BE COMPUTER LITERATE!
With that in mind, the following conversation took place on the phone between myself and one of my supposedly-computer-literate coworkers. The names have NOT been changed to protect ANYONE… Screw HER!
Me: Helen, I’m gonna need those files from you so we can run our extraction programs.
Helen: No problem. The files are out on the network.
Me: Great! Where?
Helen: Where what?
Me: WHERE on the network did you put the files so I can grab them?
Helen: Oh, sorry. I put them in the TEMP directory.
Me: Are you sure? I don’t see a TEMP directory on any of the network drives.
Helen: Well, its right there. I’m looking at it right now.
Me: Well, what is the full directory path?
Helen: You lost me.
Me: I mean, tell me the drive letter and full directory path where the file is. You know, like F:\\inventory or something.
Helen: Oh ok, 1 sec……….. OK, the file is on C:\temp.
Me: Ok, but where is it on the network?
Helen: I just told you… C:\temp.
Me: Helen, the C drive is your local drive, NOT a network drive.
Helen: You lost me again.
Me: Are you kidding me? Helen, files on your C Drive are just sitting on your own computer, right there in your cubicle. You need to move the files to the network so I can grab them.
Helen: No I don’t. You should be able to see them.
Me: Helen, I CAN’T see your C: Drive.
Helen: Sure you can…. I see it here on MY computer.
Me: Are you fucking with me?
Helen: No, I’m not fucking with you. What’s your problem?
Me: My problem is that someone who works with computers all day should KNOW THAT I CAN’T MAGICALLY SEE FILES THAT YOU HAVE ON YOUR C DRIVE!!!
Helen: I don’t see why not.
Me: You don’t see why not? That AMAZES me! Do you also use the CD drive as a cup holder?
Helen: You’re an asshole.
Me: Yes, I guess I am. And you’re a genius.
And thus ended my friendship with Helen.
This might have been a much sadder story if I had wanted to SLEEP with Helen, but she honestly wasn’t THAT attractive, so in the end I guess this had a happy ending after all.
p.s. If Helen had looked like the girl in the photo above, I would have happily agreed that the files WERE right there on the network, and thanked her handily for all her help, to boot! I would have sung Helen a damn sonnet about how great those files looked. Yes, indeedy.
4 hours ago