Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Wax On, Wax Off

Mini-Me got into his first fight this weekend.

Remember I told you about THE LITTLE MONSTER FROM THE BLACK LAGOON that I almost put over my knee and spanked this past 4th of July?

Well, Friz took Mini-Me to a friend’s house on Friday night, for a kiddie holiday party. Unfortunately, Hitler Jr. was ALSO scheduled to be in attendance.

The entire week, my son was telling me….

“Daddy, do I HAVE to go?”
“ I don’t like that kid… He’s a bully”

… and on and on.

Anyway, they weren’t there for more than 30 minutes, playing outside, before Mini-Me runs into the house, half in tears, saying how Little Damian apparently didn’t like the way Mini-Me was throwing the ball, and decided it would be fun to just knock him down and punch him, instead.

If I had been there, I do believe I FINALLY would have hit the kid, but Friz, who had ALSO finally had enough of this little monster, pulled my son aside, cleaned him up and told him that “This is EXACTLY the kind of situation that he has been going to Karate class for the past year and a half.”

We’ve been telling him from the beginning that his learning Karate was only for “self – defense”, but, being only 6, I don’t think he ever really understood what that exactly meant until that moment.

Brave little man he is, he nodded, and went back outside to play.

30 minutes later, the ladies heard the all the kids outside, screaming.

When everyone ran outside, the group all stood open-mouthed at the site of my son beating the living crap out of this little schmuck.

Apparently, Shithead Jr. once again decided that he didn’t like the way my son was throwing the ball, and decided to knock him down again. This time my son got himself up, charged at him, and knocked him on his big fat ass. Finally having hit his limit, my son jumped him, and proceeded to karate-chop the shit out of him.

By the time Friz reached him to pull him off the kid, Mini-Me had schmuko crying his fat head off, and his jacket was ripped to ribbons.

One of the other kids that were there said they had never seen anything like it.

When they got home, poor Mini-Me at first didn’t want to tell me about it. He was afraid he was going to get into trouble, bless his little heart.

“Trouble” was the farthest thing he was going to get from ME.

I felt like going out and getting him a cigar, and a hooker, but I’m not sure he’s old enough to appreciate either one of those things yet.

Give him time………

30 comments:

sybil law said...

Yaaayyyy, Mini - Me!!!
I LOVE it!
It totally reminds me of A Christmas Story.
Plus, I'll bet that little prick doesn't fuck with him again. :D

Marie said...

I am sure that was a good "That's my boy" for you.

I agree. I was told if you don't take up for yourself THEN you will be in trouble.

Good Job Mini-Me!

terri said...

Way to go, Mini-Me! WOOT-WOOT!

GiGi said...

Good for him. I have taught my kids a few little things, just in case - but mostly they use these techniques on each other to defend themselves...I guess its good practice, no? :)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

WTG Mini Me. Gave that little bully a taste of his own medicine and I'm sure he (Damien) will rethink picking on anyone else again!

i am the diva said...

HELL YES!!
i'm all for not hitting and trying to use your words and crap - but sometimes you just have to stand up to a bully. Right On!

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

Yeah, sometimes you gotta let the kids get all 'lord of the flies'

it's better that way. :)

take care :)

Paige Stanton said...

Way to go Mini-Me!

Shania said...

Pass the kid a cigar from me too! (you'll have to light it, I don't smoke) This just reinforces my decision to get Silas lessons for christmas.

B.E. Earl said...

Tell him that Uncle Earl is proud of him!

Tamara said...

I hope one day if I decide to spawn kidlets that I am a parent like you, Slyde.

Nat said...

Brilliant! Well done Mini-Me!!
I reckon that's nipped Hitler Jr in the nuts...I mean bud!

Chris H said...

HIGH FIVE Mini Me! Well done.

Latindog said...

It's a good thing your son took care of the other kid because little Damian might himself have kicked your ass if you had gotten involved.

Dr Zibbs said...

hahaha. Karate chopped the shit out of him. Classic.

Brittany said...

I was getting worked up at the beginning of your story, I really wanted to kick the fatboys but myself!

I am so proud of your mini-me.

True story: In kindergarten there was a little boy who always tried to look up my skirt, and he'd hide my jacket, and just plain pick on me. One day my dad told me the next time he did it, to smack his ears. Then when he goes up to grab his ears, kick him in the nuts.

I did. :)

He never touched me again! :)

Lets just say :) some times you have to take care of business!

It's a Wonderful Life said...

Gawd! You sound like my dad... he always told me to beat up the bully because they don't know how to handle it.

Mini-me has just jumped huge in the rankings at his school - he did what most kids only dreamed about doing, beating up the bully.

Yay for Mini-Me, proving my dad's theory once again.

2abes said...

Enter the Dragon....should say mini dragon

ChrisM said...

This story reminds me of when the bully gets beaten up in A Christmas Story.

Nej said...

Way to go, Mini Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kate said...

Better than an after-school special! I wish I had had the guts to do that when I was a kid, bullied by my syko neighbors! Yeah Mini-Me.

Callie said...

Just save this feeling for another 15 years, then go out and celebrate properly.

GeologyJoe said...

Mini-Me just propelled him self to leader of the pack. Shithead Jr. wont bother him again.

So awesome.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I swear my eyes are a little misty right now.

I'm so proud of him.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...My son is being bullied (as is the ENTIRE) 2nd grade class, by a little &hit. His mom is a middle school teacher & a volleyball coach at the school so nothing has been done about it. We have finally told our son to 'beat the &hit' out of him next time he trips him or clothesline's him on the playground. As much as I don't want the bully to bother my son, I can't wait for the day he comes home (or we receive a phone call fron the school) telling me he knocked the kid down! Woo-hoo!

Cocaine Princess said...

Go Mini-Me!!

elizabeth said...

Good for him! I thought it was a good idea to teach babs how to punch when "Angelica" the phsyco bitch 5 year old from hell was in her class - but then she punched my hand so hard it actually hurt and I was like --- oops. Uh oh. Luckily we moved. :-D

Missed ya! I'm baaaaack ;-)

2abes said...

stop sitting in your underwear playing LOTR and post something funny for me to read!

Meghan said...

Mini me is going to be a legend on the playground.And this is prob going to get him major play with the girls. Just sayin.

Faiqa said...

Good for him. Between you and me, I would have scolded my kid for resorting to violence. And then told my husband in private to go tell the kid that he shouldn't listen to his mom and that he did the right thing.

My son is doomed. Sigh.